


Songbirds

by Valo_Valmieni



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Origin Story, Awkward Romance, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Original Fiction, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 79,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valo_Valmieni/pseuds/Valo_Valmieni
Summary: With the band in its fledgling stage, Chester has a lot of weight on his shoulders. He is far from his home and family, as the group of friends tried to get a foothold in the music business. It doesn't help that one of his fellow band members bullies and molests him for his own amusement. Things quickly get even more complicated when Chester meets an older man named Chris. The fast-driving, hard-drinking, wild card of a man brings out things in Chester that he didn't know he could feel.
Relationships: Chester Bennington/Chris Cornell
Kudos: 7





	1. A Songbird

Chester's head crashed against the cupboard above the microwave with a loud thud. A hand pressed His face hard against it. His eyes winced as they threatened to spill tears. "Xero", the band he now had been working for was playing a small gig the following evening and everyone had been celebrating their promise for future success, everyone except Chester. He was currently getting a "pep talk" from Mike. He whimpered at the feeling of two of his dreads getting tugged suddenly.  
"Son of a bitch!" Mike picked a few strands of Chester's hair off his class ring with disgust.

"Cut that ugly, dirty, mangy hair of yours. It's gross and you look grungy with it. We need a frontman that looks sharp. Seriously Chaz I want that song finished by tonight . You got it? "  


Mike raised an eyebrow at him, opened the fridge and pulled out a coke and leftover Chinese takeout. Chester darted his eyes at him momentarily blinking back tears, then brought them back down to their usual spot on the floor. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead swallowed a sob; tears blurring his vision. He brought a skinny arm to his face and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. Staring at the blue plaid pattern of his sleeve he noticed a smear of blood from the previous "pep talk." It was a matte rusty color, the type that stained your clothes forever. 'The memory of Mike's "pep talks" wont outlive this stain' He thought to himself, trying to find solice within his own mind.

"I...I'll finish the song tonight...I'm s..sorry M..Mike."  


Mike stepped forward, once again too close for Chester's comfort, making him tense up. He snapped the coke can open and proceeded to pierce him with a critical stare. His already slanted eyes closing just a little more while he drank. He noticed Chester's hair once more, then let his eyes wonder down to his old, torn, and dirty clothes. Scrunching his nose in disgust Mike pulled the flaps of the Chinese takeout box and stabbed a piece of chicken with a chopstick. His evil stare never leaving His frontman's face.

"You know this is a big opportunity Chaz. We can't Fuck this up. I know we'll get signed after this gig."

He continued chewing suddenly deciding the piece of orange chicken wasn't worth eating anymore.

"Bleh"

He spat the piece of chewed up food by Chester's shoes and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Using that same hand he then grabbed the other man by the collar and pushed him against the cupboard then violently waltzed him over to the bathroom door and pinned him with brute force against it; finally breaking Chester. His tears freely falling, thumping against Mike's forearm. The darkness of the house partially disguising them from the others outside.

"M....M...Mike please sto...stop.."

The half Asian man pulled him up by his collar tightening his grip. Chaz' feet hovered over the chipped linoleum and was sure this would leave a bruise around his neck. He could barely breathe.

"That song. Finnish it. Tonight. Got it?"

Mike loosened his grip and gracefully walked to the dinning table snatching his unfinished drink. Flashing a toothy grin at Chester on his way out

"Oh and...lay off that Chinese garbage." He teased. "It's making you fat."  


He smirked and stepped out to re group with the rest of the band. The scent of coal and burning meat permeated the small kitchen. The young man let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and let himself cry. He slowly slid down the door until he was on the floor and wondered if it had all been worth it. Leaving his newborn son and wife miles away while he chased a dream wasn't the easiest thing. Perhaps this was the price to pay for his desire of becoming a rockstar. Sure he missed Sam and little Draven, but he was hoping that these hardships would pay off soon. If this new band he joined, made it big Sam and Draven would never have to worry about anything anymore. His wife could have the biggest diamond ring and his baby boy all the toys he'd ever want.  
He had driven across state lines with everything he owned in a suitcase to meet with Mike, a cool laid back emcee with an urban flare and the rest of the band, "Xero". For weeks he had been living in his car, writing songs whenever possible, and working at a little restaurant. Mike had been kind to him at first, every now and then letting him crash on his couch. Eventually everyone had gathered enough money to rent a small house on the shotty side of town, but it was a house none the less. 'I'm no longer living in my car' Chester told himself.

"Things are getting better" he whispered to himself optimistically.

"I just have to finish that song, and then we'll get signed and...and..and everyone will be happy. Everything's ok."  
He said quietly.

His voice and tears dwindled to whimpers. Bringing his knees to his chest he wrapped his long thin arms around himself protectivly. He continued to cry in silence comforting himself until a sudden cool breeze made him shudder, forcing him to look over his shoulder. The door to the bathroom had quietly opened revealing a concerned Rob.  
Robert Bourdon, the band's drummer towered over the rest of the band.He had sleepy eyes and a strong build. His musculature, well defined. His demeanor stoic. Always undisturbed in any given situation. When things got heated between anyone, he was always there to calm the tides. His thoughts, a constant mystery to those around him.  
Rob gave Chester a tranquil look stepping in front of him.

"How long has he been treating you like that?"

Chester brought a hand up to his mouth and began to nibble off a fingernail. Tears still rolling down his hollow cheeks.

"Since we...we..we moved into this house. D..d...d.don't don't do anything...p...please Rob."  


He continued to bite off an almost non existent fingernail anxiously looking at Rob's shoes. The drummer gave him a quizzical look and carefully placed a large hand on his bandmate's shoulder making him flinch. With a reassuring squeeze he began to choose his few words then spoke.

"I'll talk to him. No one deserves to be treated that way. We all share the same dream. We're a band. We're brothers."

Rob's hand rubbed his shoulder then traveled up to the back of his head where he found a soggy spot at the base of one of Chester's dreads. He quickly pulled his hand away and inspected it revealing blood.

"Chaz you're hurt"

Rob swiftly ran back to the bathroom and came back with a sand colored towel. He looked at his bandmate who in return gave him an alarming look.

"It's ok Chaz...It's ok."

The taller man passed the wet area wincing as he did so imagining the sting of the fresh wound.

"I need to put pressure on this for a bit"

Rob licked his lips and glanced at Chester who continued to cry in silence. He seemed like such a nice guy. His voice was incredible, he seemed kind, and funny, but his lyrics were very deep and way too dark for someone who was normally cheerful. Clearly something troubled Chazzy; something was obviously eating him up inside. Why did Mike have to treat him like shit? He shook his head to himself, and began to remove the towel off when a whole blood soaked dread came with it.

"Oww..ow"

Chester winced then frowned at the sight of his dread in Rob's hand. Rob sat the detached dread to the side and parted Chester's remaining dreads. He inspected the back of his head and found a bald spot with a few specs of blood.

"Jeez. How hard did he hit you?"  
The singer frowned and gently pat the rest of hair.

"No..no that's from him pulling my hair"

Rob got up and offered a hand to his band mate who was still curled up on the floor in silence.

"come on I'll help you up"  
Chester hesitated before reaching for Ron's hand. He sat there for an extra five seconds; fearing what would become of the rest of the night.


	2. Bottoms up

It had been a cool rainy evening in Los Angeles. A stark contrast from the day wether to Chris' relief. The locals complained despite being used to The state's temperamental weather.  
"Ugh rain again...why?"  
A scantily clad young woman huffed, exiting the building Chris had been leaning against. She scurried away from the alley holding a nearly soaked newspaper above her head. Her heels clicked away from him until she was out of sight. Chris smiled to himself taking a puff of his cigarette. He closed his eyes and plucked lazily at his guitar that hung from him. The loud pitter patter bringing back memories from home.  
Back in Seattle they had storms almost everyday, real down pours compared to the light rain in L.A. Once, when He was a little boy he'd disappeared into the woods and played in a rain puddle for hours. With only some action figures for company he went deeper into a more dense part of the woods and found an old log cabin. It had been abandoned for a couple of years, so with the curiosity and bravery only a child could posses he went inside and found Linda, his Gibson hummingbird. She had a beautify crafted, curvy, mahogany body and it fit perfectly in his young hands. The young boy strummed her steel strings creating a flat de-tunned noise. It was clear that Linda had seen better days, she just needed a little love, love that Chris was willing to give. Linda was his first love. He'd written many songs with her, made many memories with her. Which is why his heart ached a little whenever he remembered he lost her in a hotel while on a drunken stupor.  
With his eyes still closed He shook his head a little and found comfort in the cold droplets of water that rolled down from his lengthy strands of hair to his face. Smiling he took the cigarette butt out of his mouth and flicked it across the alley. His soaked olive drab undershirt clung to go muscular torso as he paced around tunning his guitar. Chris squinted turning the last peg hearing a squeak.

"Please don't do this tonight Tiffany. Behave yourself."

He slid a large thin hand up and down the guitar's neck and began to stum calmly. His tempo was great; Tiffany sounded crisp and clean. He opened his mouth to sing the first few words of a song when the large metal door next to him flew open and startled him. He held Tiffany close and prepared himself to see a barback with a large box or maybe a heavy garbage can. He walked casually to the door ready to help keep it open when he heard someone getting slammed against it making stop dead in his tracks.

"You're lucky I let you stay after that mediocre performance!"  
An angry man's voice could be heard followed a few more slams and then a slap.

"I'm sorry...I...I got nervous. It won't happen again. Please!"  
Someone's desperate pleas echoed throughout the alley. Chris witnessed the awful exchange quietly yet vigilantly.

"Oh I know it won't happen again, because if it does and you fuck this up for all of us I'll destroy you!"  
Chris heard a hard dense smack then noticed a thin flailing arm slowly becoming limp. That's when his adrenaline kicked in making him sprint towards the door dropping Tiffany on the way. What he saw made his blood boil. Right before him there stood a half Asian looking kid pinning another smaller looking boy. He was being choked and quickly losing consciousness. A quick glance and Chris saw his eyes had begun to roll back.

"Wow! Hey Cool it man!"  
Chris pushed the Asian kid back with one hand and gently shook the skinny kid with the other. He stood there in shock while the Asian kid with spiky red hair glared at the other. His eyes on fire. His hands curled into right fists, ready to attack. Chris stood up turning himself into a barrier between this furious karate kid and his victim.  
"Hey look man...I don't know what's going on here, but you need to stop."  


Chris stated at the angry kid before him who was taking quick shallow breaths. He reminded him of a fire breathing dragon about to pounce. Once Chris felt he was calm enough, he turned to look at the other kid on the floor leaning against the metal door. He had cuts and bruises up and down his arms and bruise was beginning to form on one of his cheeks. Chris's heart sank and he frowned slightly. He turned his head to look back at the half Asian.

"I think he learned his lesson."  
Chris reasoned with the angry kid putting both hands up as if to push him away. The half Asian cut a look at Chris and exasperated turning his attention back to the bruised up kid on the floor.

"You're lucky grandpa was here to protect you. Next time you bet..."  
Chris had heard enough and shoved the angry brat back inside the building. His sea green eyes piercing through him.

"Excuse me!? Grandpa? Get the fuck out of here Bruce Lee!" Chris stood in the doorway making sure this punk ran back inside. He watched the noise and the darkness of the venue swallow that awful kid. A large hand came up to his face and with the tips of his fingers he traced the tiny lines by his eyes.  
"Grandpa."  
He whispered to himself. Thunder crashed above him followed by a sudden downpour, shaking him out of his thoughts. The skinny kid was still on the floor whimpering. Chris knelt in front of him cupping his bruised face and tilting it up to get a better look at him.

"Hey kid, what's your name?"  
He brushed a few of the kid's dreads back and took a good look at him..He had thin lips, a pointed nose, and a set of espresso colored eyes that sat under groomed brows. Tears followed freely from the boy blending with the droplets of rain that fell on his face. Chris felt his tight jeans quickly becoming damp, both his and the kid's hair were soaked it's as if they were both in the shower.

"Ch...ch..Chester"  
The kid stuttered.

Thunder shook the sky above once again warning them of what was about to come.  
" shit! Come on Chester follow me! "

Chris offered a hand and helped Chester up. He continued holding his hand while he walked over to Tiffany where Chris retrieved her from the floor and ran out of the alley. Chester shuffling his feet behind him. The older man led him down the street half a block away from the music venue, where they stopped in front of a white classic looking car. Chris cursed under his breath looking through his keys, Tiffany under his arm. It felt like he waited for an eternity to find the winning key. He opened his car's passenger door and gently tapped Chester's back.  
"Get in."

He watched Chester crawl inside as he jogged to the driver's side and sheltered himself in his car. Chris leaned his head back trying to catch his breath then tossed Tiffany to the back seat. Feeling a sense of relief he smiled listening to the rhythmic tapping on his windshield. It became more rapid and he let out a chuckle trying to share a moment of reassurance with his passenger. Chester was hunched over looking at.both of his hands. Instinctively he brought his thumbnail up to his mouth and began to quietly chew on it. The smile on Chris' smile faded and was replaced with a frown.

"How old are you kid?"  
He searched for Chester's eyes and waited patiently for the other to talk. The boy slowly turned his head and found himself mesmerized by Chris' sea foam green eyes. They were the type of eyes that could set anyone in a trance. Deep, and serene yet so intense. Despite of Chris'warm smile his eyes seemed full of sorrow and millions of secrets. A state could tell a story. Chester was swimming in those lovely verdant pools. It was then when Chester realized he had stared at this man for far too long. He also hadn't answered his question. He raised his brows surprised that he'd forgotten how to speak.

"I uh..I'm twenty-one"  
Chris grinned and reached between his long legs under the driver's seat. Chester looked at him curiously until Chris pulled a half empty bottle of whiskey and handed it to him.

"Here, please have a drink. You seem like you need it."  
Chester hesitated before reaching for the bottle, then he twisted the cap and took a long swig. He sat quietly hugging the bottle and took a look around at his surroundings.

"Nice car"  
He stated, smiling for the first time that night. Chester's smile was contagious because before he knew it He had Chris smiling with him. Chris proudly rested an arm on the steering wheel and looked ahead searching through his mind.

"It's a 1970's challenger. You want to go for a spin?"  
Chris asked, boldly cocking an eyebrow at Chester. His large hand caressing his own thigh teasing himself with anticipation. Chester gave him a surprised look swallowing a lump in his throat.

"Yes..."

The wild man at the wheel winked at him then grinned putting his key in the ignition; causing his steel ride to purr loudly.  
"Put your seat belt on, you're going to need it."  
He revved up his engine and peeled off the parking space, speeding fiercely into the highway.


	3. A wild Ride

Chris sped, turned, and skidded his tires across the wet asphalt around the city. He smiled wickedly and pulled the shiffter up and down, side to side.Chester's eyes were wide as he still cradled the whiskey bottle. He gave a side eyed glance to the wild driver's speedometer. It read 60mph which made him a little nervous to say the least. The speed and gravity pulled him against the smooth leather seat making his stomach flip. He was no longer able to take more sips from the bottle due to the stunt like driving of his unmasked hero. The younger man smiled to himself at the feeling of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. His smiles turning into laughter. The driver grinned boldly at him finally pulling up at a small diner. He turned the key in the ignition calming the smooth purr of the engine off. Chester looked out the window reading the tall sign by the building in a whisper.  
"Jim's burgers..."

The driver grabbed the bottle of whiskey bringing it to his lips tilting it all the way back. He gulped loudly earning a concerned look from his passenger. He put the bottle down licking his lips and pencil mustache. It had only been a few hours since his last drink, that sip hit the spot nicely and could hold him for a while. He smiled at Chester stretching his hand, ready to welcome the other's grip.  
"I'm Chris by the way."

Chester smiled partaking in Chris' friendly gesture. He felt Chris' large,warm, calloused hand and smiled coyly at him. Sadly Chris broke the handshake to hide the bottle under his driver's seat again then winked at him.

"There we go, nice and safe. Are you hungry Chester?"  
Chris asked gesturing at the restaurant in front of them. Chester nodded blinking nervously. This had been a very strange evening for him. I'm the past nine months since the band moved to their new house no one. No one, had ever stood up to Mike for him the way Chris had done tonight. They had witnessed Mike torment and humiliate him several times a day and no one would dare say anything to Mike, after all it was his band. Then he remembered what Rob said the night before and the bit of kindness he'd shown. Rob was a gentle giant, he was sweet, he probably did say something to Mike but Mike wasn't that easy to persuade. If anything that was probably the reason he almost chocked him tonight. Chester reached up to trace the tender flesh around his throat. The dark memory fading away the short-lived moments of joy with his hero.  
Both men walked into the brightly lit restaurant, they ordered their food and sat in a booth facing each other. Chester was lost in thought, miles away. He was staring through the table emotionless. Chris took this as an opportunity examine Chester, because he really didn't know if what he needed was food or a hospital. He momentarily looked down at his drink wrapping his plump lips around a bright red straw and sucked slowly. Chris brought his stare back up as fizzy root beer flowed down his throat; observing Chester's bruised cheek for the first time under proper lighting. He noticed that its purple color had spread and became more pronounced. There was a bright red line that went across his bottom lip on the same side of the face ,witch compelled Chris to bring his cold drink up to the younger man's cheek. Chester flinched.

"Does this hurt?"  
Chris gave Chester a sullen look and received a smile in return.

"That feels kind of nice"  
Both men stared into each others eyes for a long comfortable silence; Chris never removing the ice cold cup from Chester's face. The older man cleared his throat breaking the silence, then slowly removed his cup from Chester's face. He didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

"So um...why was that guy beating you up?" He seemed like a real asshole. "  
Chris sipped from his drink casually then readjusted himself in his seat. He spread his arms wide and slung them over the backrest of the booth. The younger man took a long deep breath then slowly let it out thinking about the question.

"He's um...Mike. He's my bandmate. I wrote a song  
Last night, and he wanted me to sing it tonight. I thought I had memorized the whole thing but...but....I messed up...towards the end."  
Chester looked down at his hands with shame and began to tear up again.

"and...and now we won't get signed...and it's all my fault"  
His breath hitched and his voice broke in between words. He quickly wiped his tears away as if to rid away the evidence of his heartbreak. Chris gave Chester a downhearted look and shook his head.

"Hey kid, it's going to be alright. Don't lose any sleep tonight  
I'm sure everything will end up alright."  
He took a sip from his drink again then rested both arms on the table giving the younger man an analytical look. His green eyes bounced from Chester's face to Chester's drink which had sat there untouched. The glass had little drops of condensation that rolled down the curvaceous glass, forming a pool of water at the bottom.

"What are you drinking?"  
Chris asked smiling tenderly. Chester looked up giving him a crooked smile. He wiped his tears with the back of his hands again and picked up the glass taking a long sip. He sat his glass down and grinned.

"It's called Horchata. It's kind of like rice flour with milk and cinnamon. It's great! It's...uh...It's Mexican. Would you like some?"  
Chester pushed his glass ever so slightly towards his wicked driver. Chris took a sip then held the sweet elixir in his mouth swishing it around. He inspected the milky white beverage raising the glass in the air along with his brows as he did so. He swallowed happily then licked his lips to clean the remaining flavor from the beverage.

"That's delicious. It would be even better with some rum."  
Chris's comment made Chester chuckle.Just as Chester was about to speak again their food arrived to their table. The friendly, but quiet waitress sat a steak sandwich with a side of fries in front of Chris, and fish tacos in front of Chester. Which made Chris raise his brows with surprise at his plate. He thanked the waitress and waited for her to part then turned to Chester.

"So... Are you're Latin or do you just really like Mexican food?"  
Chris smiled taking a bite of his steak sandwich. Chester chuckled picking up one of his tacos.

"I just really like Mexican food. I used to get it a lot back home." He took a bite from his taco and chewed it happily.

"Where are you from?"  
Chris looked at the younger man in wonder then wiped his fingers and goatee on a paper napkin.

"Arizona...I don't know how long I'm going to be here for, given the circumstances."  
Chester looked down at his food thinking to himself that it wouldn't be long before he was on his way back home to his family empty handed. He felt a sudden wave of shame again, but continued to eat anyway. He didn't realized just how hungry he was until he began to eat, then found himself unable to stop. He was practically inhaling His food. It had been a whole day since his last meal, because Mike had him on a very strict diet. His hero ate in silence for a moment, but then began to speak again pulling Chester out of a dark place for the fifth time that night.

"Hey, Chester. I've been there too man. If you need to buy yourself a little more time you're welcome to crash with me."  
Chester thought about it and looked up at Chris' emerald green eyes, and gave him a crocked smile and a slow quiet nod. Both smiled at each other and continued to eat their meals. The storm had died down, not just the one outside. Chester felt a lot more calm, a little happier. He hadn't known this man for long, but by the end of their meal he knew he was from Seattle, loved music just as much as he did, had a fantastic sense of humor, and was twelve years his senior. He didn't understand what, but there was something about Chris that pacified him. Maybe it was his nonchalant demeanor or his dozy eyes. Maybe it was his sweet baritone voice that made the atmosphere vibrate. Whatever it was, Chester knew it felt great.

After their meal they got in the car and Chris desperately searched for his whiskey bottle under the driver's seat. He snatched it and chugged the remaining poison, letting out a sigh of contentment. He turned to Chester giving him a lethargic look.  
"Ready to go? "

Chester nodded nervously and gripped his seatbelt turning his knuckles white right as Chris drove away again. Driving in the same manor as before he turned, skidded, drifted and sped to his next destination. Everything outside the car was an indistinguishable blur. Chester shut his eyes feeling the car spin, skid, then suddenly halt. He trembled with his eyes still shut feeling the soft purr of the engine slowly stop. He opened his eyes and peered out the window realizing Chris had driven back to the music venue. He turned to Chris in silence and shot him a perplexed look.  
"I'm one of the last performers tonight. Care for a listen?"

Chester nodded quickly with excitement.  
"I'd love to."

Chris reached to the back of his ride taking Tiffany while his passenger exited the car. He ran to the back of the building towards the alley where he'd first met Chester while the other jogged behind him. Once inside a mixture of cologne, cigarettes, and musk, hit Chester's nose. They went through the back of the bar then momentarily walked through a large crowd on the floor.There were dozens of sweaty bodies dancing and banging their heads to a shredding guitar. The noise was deafening. He tried to focus on Chris' back as they eventually made it through the sea of people and headed backstage. Chris began to tune his guitar trying his best to listen to each string among the all the noise. He grinned happily then gave Chester a sleepy look.

"I'm after these guys! I made it just in time!"  
He screamed still smiling at him. He smelled like whiskey, but it didn't bother Chester in the slightest. He was about to become engrossed in the wonder that was Chris when he heard Mike's screams getting closer and closer by the second.

"Chester! Chester!"

He spun around and saw Mike sprinting toward him. He winced waiting for Mike to hit him or pull on his hair again, then decided he would shield himself behind Chris. Just as he was about to do so He felt Mike grab him by the shoulders and then he realized he was being shaken with immense force. Everything happened so quickly it startled him and he began to yelp.  
" I'm sorry....I'm sorry...n..n..no...no please no!"

Chris jumped to the rescue and was ready to pounce on Mike when he saw him smiling at Chester.

"Chazzy we did it! We got signed! Where have you been buddy? We've been looking everywhere for you."

The half Asian then enveloped him in a tight hug and began to stamp kisses all over his face. Chester's eyes looked like glass and was visibly shaking. He forced a smile and carefully hugged Mike back. He glanced up at Chris who was taken back by the strange exchange. Four more men caught up to Mike. They were all smiling and cheering. There was a red head with a wide smile who seemed genuinely happy for Chester. He clapped and cheered then did a double take as his eyes met Chris'. Chester looked at Mike and nodded with his eyes on the floor, sporting his famous broken smile again.

"I'm sorry I disappeared. I was just...hanging out with Chris. He's cool guys, he likes music too." He said glancing at his hero.

"Well of course he does! You were hanging out with Chris Cornell dude!?" The red head blurred out and with a large grin then walked over to Chris and shook his hand.

" Oh my God man, I'm a huge fan! I'm Dave, but everyone calls me Phoenix "

Chris shook his hand smiling slightly. Confused by the situation. He half smiled at everyone and waved.While everyone hugged Chester he pulled out a napkin from his back pocket, and snatched a sharpie from a clipboard on the wall. He scribbled something on it and walked over to the group of men handing the napkin over to their singer. A disembodied voice said his name through the sound system and the crowd went wild. He waved to the group then shot Chester a devious smile and disappeared behind the stage curtains. The crowd cheered again and Chris began to play.  
Rob glared at Chris' direction and quietly turned his attention back to the sensitive singer. He was still shaking and would flinch at the sound of Mike's voice. He wrapped his arms around Chester again and ruffled his hair.

"You're my trophy Chazzy. The only way you'll ever leave this band is in a box, man!"  


The singer looked far from flattered. His eyes were wide and he just nodded quietly. Mike broke the hug and walked towards the bar. The rest of the guys followed except for Rob. He stayed behind and watched as Chester's expression change from horrified to elated. He smiled at the napkin, and tucked into the front pocket of his loose fitting pleather pants.


	4. New band. New me?

The time was nine in the morning and Chester stirred on the dirty mattress that was on the floor. Ribbons of Orange and yellow light streamed through the torn black trash bags, that now served as makeshift curtains. There was a roach on his pillow that wiggled it's long antennas as if to say good morning, and a small pile of clothes on a broken suitcase that sat on the corner. He turned his head and felt a dull pain on the apple of his cheek then everything came back. Him messing up the song, Mike beating him up, the band finally getting signed, and Chris. A coy smile suddenly appeared on his face as he thought of his hero. Chester felt his cheeks get hot when he remembered the napkin he had given him. He exasperated and reached into his pocket when Mike burst into the room.

"Hey buddy, no time to choke the chicken this morning. You are getting a makeover!"  
  
Mike announced loudly and shot his finger guns at him with a large grin.

"What do you say? Huh buddy? You're gonna look so cool. You're going to get all the bitches"

The half Asian took a dive on the mattress landing on his singer, making him grunt. He pinned his hands above his head and gyrated his his groin on Chester's. Mike threw his head back and moaned loudly in a girlish tone.

"Oh fuck me I want your rockstar dick! Oh yeah!"

He let out an obnoxious laugh then kissed the singer on the forehead. Chester laid there confused and swallowed loudly.

"M..Mike, can you get off me please. You're hurting me"

Mike stated at him tight lipped and dismounted his startled singer. He walked around the room and looked at Chester's belongings and stopped at a broken night stand. The half Asian noticed a pair of prescription eye glasses. They were aviator style he pinched them by the nose guard and picked them up. He made a revolting face at them.

"Do you really need glasses Chazzy?" 

He asked and put the spectacles down carelessly. His singer winced at him trying to focus his eyes then scratched his nose.

" yeah I do, but I haven't really worn them since you told me not to. "

The half Asian nodded and stuffed his hands into his pockets making his way to the singer. He smiled and tilted his chin up so that Chester was looking up at him. Mike caressed Chester's cheek with the back of his hand and then rubbed his bruise with his thumb.The singer looked down and cowered in fear.

" We're going to be big, and you're going to take us there. You're gonna do so good. You're my trophy Chazzy. Don't you forget that. " 

Mike slid his touch down to Chester's neck and gently caressed the hand print he had left there the night before. He let his hand wonder back up to his dreaded hair then back to his face. He gently stroked his cheek then ran his thumb over his bottom lip.

"You know...you have a really pretty face. You really shouldn't hide it behind this mop. Chicks dig a pretty guy like you. You're, really...really beautiful." 

He continued to run his thumb on his bottom lip, then pushed it past Chester's teeth massaging his tongue once inside. The singer shook and took slow deep breaths, as his eyes began to water. Mike noticed right away and took his thumb out of his singer's mouth, then knelt in front of him and cupped his face.

"Shhh, don't worry baby I wont hurt you anymore. No. Not anymore. You're so special. I'm sorry about before. Look at me baby."  
  
Chester trembled and carefully forced himself to look into Mike's eyes. He was trying his best not to cry, but was failing miserably. The corners of his lips drooped down and his teeth clicked slightly.

"Please don't hurt me Mike. Please."

Mike took both of Chester's hands in his and squeezed them gently. He gave Chester a charming smile and wiped a lonely tear that rolled down his cheek.

" Hey baby, I said I was sorry. It won't happen ever again. I promise. "

Chester trembled and kept his eyes glued to the floor, horrified by this new side of Mike he'd never seen before. He was about to break Mike's firm grip on him when he heard footsteps near his door. He quickly looked up; paranoia getting the best of him at this point. Rob was leaning on the door frame and gave the scene a sweet smile.  
  
"Things are better between you two now?"

He folded his arms over his chest, and crossed one foot over the other watching his two band mates. Mike's eyes were burning a hole through Chester. He grinned and responded without looking at Rob.

"Things are great. I was just apologizing to our buddy Chester here, then he got a little emotional. He's so sweet. Isn't he?"

Rob chuckled and ran a hand through his buzzed hair.

"Yeah he's a nice guy. So um, are we going to give him a haircut? Dave has everything set up in the living room."  
  
Mike turned giving him a wide smile and a nod, still holding Chester's clammy hands. Rob disappeared back to the living room with the rest of the guys. There was a dirty, disturbing, feeling that Mike emitted with every touch and every word he spoke. Chester felt as if he had somehow tainted him. He tainted something as innocent as a hug changing it to something twisted and disgusting. Mike squeezed his thigh then pulled him off the bed. He lead him to the living room where Dave had set up a lawn chair lined with trash bags. There was buzz cutter, sissors, and a box of blonde hair dye. Chester panicked and looked around at his fellow band mates.

"You're gonna dye my hair? but I..."

Mike cut him off and placed a long finger across Chester's lips to keep him quiet.

" No buts. You're going to love it Chazzy. I already told Dave what to do. Now just sit here and relax."

Mike grabbed his prized singer by the shoulders and pushed him down on the lawn chair. He pat his back pocket feeling his wallet and gave Dave a bro hug. 

"Alright I'll be back in a few hours. Make Chazzy look shnazzy!"

He smiled excitedly and exited the house whistling, leaving a confused Chester with a very peppy Dave. The red head, who was also the bassist of the band had a "happy go lucky" mood 99% of the time. The other 1% he was sleeping. He took pleasure in meeting new people, and everywhere he went he wore a friendly smile. Dave also know as Phoenix, wrapped a black trash bag around the singer's neck. He began to chop strands of Chester's dreads off. Smiling at the young singer he casually started a conversation to ease his nerves.

"So, what's Chris Cornell like?"

He sniped and sniped as the young singer saw bits and pieces of dread fall from his head, and slow glide down on the trash bag. Chester smiled remembering Chris' charming smile and felt his cheeks flush.

" He's ..He's really cool. He took me out for tacos, we talked a lot. He drives all crazy. He...He put some ice on the bruise on my cheek. "  
Chester's stomach sank and He mentally slapped himself for saying too much.

Dave continued to cut his hair then furred his brows, he walked around then leaned over to get a better look at his band mate. His jaw hit the floor.

"Oh my God, that looks really bad!" 

Daves eyes bounced around spotting a lavender colored hand print around his singer's neck, along with a cut in his lip.He brought a hand to cover his mouth while his concern for the young singer began to rise.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice last night. Everyone was drinking, and it was dark...I. Who?..who?...was it Mike?"

Chester nodded silently and chewed his lower lip looking at a few dreads on the floor. He felt instantly guilty for accidently telling on Mike. The last thing he wanted was more "pep talks" and he would certainly get one now. Especially if Dave would try to intervene.

"Dave I'm fine. I...I deserved it. I almost messed up Mike's dream. I'm ok. He said sorry. Please don't tell him anything."

The bassist then walked to his original spot behind the singer, and continued to cut his hair in silence. He felt awkward knowing one of his friends had been beaten, and couldn't even say something about it. Much less confront Mike about it. He didn't want this issue to eat at him at the moment and decided to continue asking questions about Chris. It was nice to hear that he'd made a friend outside of the band. He noticed Chester's mood change quickly the more he talked about him. He went on and on, laughing about Chris' jokes. Dave quickly noticed how Chester's cheeks would turn a rosy color whenever he mentioned Chris' eyes.  
The singer's long dreads that once acted like curtains were all gone now. Which meant that Dave had a better view of his flawless smile. He sniped a bit more more hair then combed it gently while Chester continued to talk. He wasn't even done with him yet but he already looked much better. It was a lot like polishing a dull diamond. The bassist went on and dyed his hair with care and precision. Chester would chuckle every now and then while he still talked about Chris. This time mentioning his amazing getaway car. Two hours passed and the time came for the elated singer to jump in the shower and rinse off the bleach. Dave smiled at him while he swept all the dreads and bits of hair off the floor.

"Well, you really seem to like Chris. I think you two are gonna be best buds. It's nice to see you happy for a change."

Dave smiled again and continued to gently sweep around the chair. Chester walked to the shower and carefully got himself out of his pleather pants, the treasured folded napkin falling out of his front pocket. He swiftly removed the plaid shirt he wore the night before and picked up the note. He blushed and stared back at the phone number that was staring at him. Chris' name was written in cursive under it.   
The young singer didn't know when he would see him again but he hoped that it would be very soon. He needed to see his wicked driver again. Chester didn't understand why he needed to see him with such urgency. They had literally just met the night before, It confused him in a pleasurable kind of way. Suddenly the memory of Chris' face sucking on his straw invaded his mind. The thought of his plump lips around it, the way he devilishly smiled at him with little side eyed glances. Ughhh those eyes, he could just swim in them all day. Chester licked his lips then bit his lower lip closing his eyes. He felt a warm pulling feeling just above his belly button, then felt his member begin to harden and rise.  
His eyes shot open and he looked down at his rock hard member. Gasping he pushed his erection down trying to wedge it between his thighs. Panicked and ashamed of himself, he reached for the shower faucet and turned it to the cold stetting. He scurried into the shower and pulled the curtain shut, hiding from the band, from himself, or from anyone who might read his mind. He covered his face with his palms, and stood under the freezing stream.

"What the fuck I'm not gay. Ugh why is this happening? "

He kept pushing it down with one hand and covered his mouth with the other. There was no use, his soldier stood at full attention. Chester decided to ignore his carnal desires and rinsed the bleach out of his hair instead. The ice cold water cascaded over his tight body giving him goose bumps. After contemplating his sexuality for a few minutes in the shower, the singer was sure he'd rinsed off all the bleach. Chester collected his clothes, making sure Chris' phone number was in his pocket again. He wrapped an off white towel around his waist and made a run for his room; praying that no one would stop him mid trip to make small talk. He shut the door and took a deep breath once inside.

"What the he'll is happening to me?"

He asked himself then ran a trembling hand through his hair. Oh right...his hair. What the hell did Dave do to it? Chester went to a small cracked mirror that was hung by a thread on a wall. He leaned towards it and saw his reflection looking back at him. His long skinny dreads were all gone, now and they had been replaced by short cornsilk blonde curls. He barely recognized himself. It was a drastic change but in spite of this, he smiled at himself, enjoying his new reflection. He continued to admire himself when a knock at the door startled him.

"Chazzy, I got some cool shit for yooooou."

Mike coed on the other side of the door. Chester's stomach flipped flopped and his heart pounded hard against his chest. A slow panic crept on him making him hesitantly his following actions.

"I...I'll be out in a minute."

The singer gripped the towel around his waist thankful for it's existence. Another knock on the door made him flinch once more.

"Let me in Chazzy. Please."

His heart thumped faster and faster as he gingerly made his way to the door. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned the knob, immediately regretting it. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Mike's eyes quickly wondering from his hair down to his prized towel. Mike licked his lips as he caught a glimpse of Chester's bare hairless torso.

"You're naked. Even better."

Before the nude singer could protest Mike walked passed him carrying four large shopping bags, and shut the door closed with his leg. Chester stood there and continued to tremble, dumbfounded while his anxiety ate through him. He stated at Mike speechless as he watched him unpack different types of men's clothes, including... thongs? He raised his eyebrows, and crossed his arms over his chest protectively hugging himself. The band's emcee, Mike slowly made his way to him with an outfit on hand.

"I got you all these suppah fresh duds baby. You like?"

The emcee grinned and pulled up a deep red shirt with a black etnies insignia. Chester looked at them and gave him a quick nod then cleared his throat.

" Yeah they're great...um...I'll try everything on right now Mike. Thank you...so much. Thanks. "

The emcee shot him a confused look then chuckled. He got closer to him, eyeing his singer seductively. He layed a finger on Chester's lips who at this point was shaking like a bowl of jell-o. With his index finger he drew a trail tracing his singer's lips first, followed by his chest, then he finally rested his wondering finger on the edge of the towel. He hooked his finger and with one swift pull removed it, leaving Chester naked and vulnerable. The young blonde shook while he cupped his privates attempting to remain modest.

"W..w...what are you doing? Please don't..."  
  
The emcee wrapped his arms around the blonde and shushed him. Mike tangled his long fingers in Chester's new hair and gave him gentle kisses on the corners of his mouth then both cheeks. The singer trembled waiting for the emcee to hurt him, but instead received Mike's wondering hands. Surprisingly he began to caress him everywhere in a soft loving way. Chester's trembling dwindled down to slow deep breaths. He stood there in shock both with himself as well as with Mike.

"I told you. I won't hurt you anymore baby. Can't you trust me?

They both just stood there in silence for a few minutes until Mike broke the long awkward hug. He held Chester by his hip bones and searched for his singer's eyes without success. He gave him a defeated frown and headed for the door. Mike rested his hand on the knob for a few minutes, then turned to give the blonde one last glance before opening the door.

" come out in your new clothes so we can all see you. I really hope you can forgive me one day baby. "

Mike smiled at him finally exiting the room. Chester cringed when the emcee called him baby. Everything he said or did to him made his skin crawl. He felt like jumping in the shower again just to wash away Mike's filthy touch. He gagged and quickly got dressed before the emcee would decide to come back. The singer slipped into the red etnies shirt, then some dark olive colored cargo pants. Every now and then he would glance at the door hoping Mike would decide to stay in the living room. He looked at his mattress where the emcee had set the bags down, and picked through them with curiosity. There were more graphic Tees, pants, socks, shorts, a wallet with a chain, and a black pair of etnies shoes. Chester smiled to himself and chose to put on the shoes. They fit perfectly, they were so cozy he could just imagine wearing them to bed.  
Without giving it too much though, he stepped out into the living room where all the guys mingled and ate pizza. The t.v hummed in a low volume in the background while a couple of the guys watched. Even though Chester felt great over his new self he still walked and hunched awkwardly; waiting for someone to notice he had left his bedroom. He shuffled his feet closer to his band mates and cleared his throat softly. Everyone turned to look at him. Some had shocked expressions and some smiled, including Rob. Which was rare.

"Oh my God Ches, you look great. Wow."

Rob was unable to stop himself from smiling. He was beaming and carelessly abandoned his slice of pizza wobbling towards the singer with his mouth agape. He towered over him and gawked at his hair then the rest of him. Chester was meek and grinned happily. Soon the rest of the band encircled him and began to admire his new look. Everyone gave him a friendly nudge or a pat on the back in approval then went back to their meal, everyone except Dave. The red head held his pizza like a taco and took a few bites out of it with an ear to ear grin.

"You want some pizza? Rob brought some." 

Chester nodded quickly, excited to have a warm meal and followed Dave to the kitchen. They were far away enough from the rest of the guys that they wouldn't hear what Dave was about to ask. While he continued to eat his pizza Dave gave the singer a sheepish look, then giggled like a teenage girl. Chester snatched a pizza slice from the pizza box and chucked at Dave's off giggle.

"What? Is it my frosted tips?"

Chester asked, pointing at his his damp hair with a grin. He got his pizza and the bassist licked his lips still giggling.

"Are you gonna call Chris and show him your new look?"

The blonde almost choked on his pizza, then held a hand over his mouth trying to contain himself. He was in disbelief and amused at the same time.

" Dave! How do you..? "

"Oh come on Chester. You've been looking at that napkin Chris gave you, like it holds the chords to our first hit. He obviously gave you his number" 

The bassist and the singer exchanged smiles quietly. Chester bit his pizza and began to devour it in silance. Meanwhile Dave went on about how big of Chris Cornell fan he was, and cool it must be to have a rockstar for a friend. The blonde felt his cheeks flush while Dave continued to talk about his hero.


	5. He's Trouble

Two days had passed since Chester had his makeover, and during the duration of those days he'd thought about Chris. A lot. When he opened his eyes in the morning he thought about him. When he saw one of the guys twist the cap off a beer bottle he was there. When he showered, there he was too. He was sitting on his old mattress daydreaming, staring at the worn out napkin. It had been fold closed and opened countless times since Chris had given it to him. The blonde reached for the old phone in his room and dialed the number. His palms felt sweaty as he listened for the dial tone. His mind went wild going a million miles an hour and at the same time his heart thumped so hard, he swore he could hear his own heartbeat.

" mhmm... Hello? "

Chester chuckled at the sound of Chris' sleepy baritone voice.

" Hi Chris, it's Chester... "

At the other end of the line Chris jolted from the couch he'd been sleeping on ,and dropped a few beer bottles that had been nesting with him. He rubbed his sleepy eyes with a smile.

" Hey kid. What's going on?

" Do you want to hang out? Meet up somewhere? "

Chester's cheeks hurt from smiling so much as he waited patiently for Chris' response. He hoped it was a yes and brought a fingernail up to his mouth to soothe himself.

"Oh, nonsense. I'll pick you up, What do you feel like doing kid?"

The older man took a cigarette from his coffee table and stuck it between his plump lips. The receiver rested snuggly between his well defined chin and his muscular shoulder, while he used both hands to light it. He took a long drag and waited for the young blonde's response. There was nothing but silence with a small side of giggles. It got a rise out of Chris and he made a toothy grin casually holding the receiver to his ear.

" Where do you live? "

The blonde chucked and gave him the address of his humble abode. After a few more moments on the phone He hung up, twirled and danced around in his spacious but dilapidated room. Feeling his hands trembling he waltzed over to the bags of clothes Mike had gotten for him. It was time to look for a new outfit. Something simple but cool, that didn't look like was trying too hard. He pulled out a baby blue tee shirt with a silhouette of a guy skateboarding. His hands dug through the bags for pants and underwear. There were some khaki cargo pants, and a black belt with silver eyelets all around. Perfect.  
Chester kept looking for underwear that wasn't banana hammocks and lacy thongs, unfortunately that was all he could find. His hands touched the bottom of the paper bags hoping for at least one pair of breifs, when he felt something smooth to the touch but firm like a rubber when he gave it a squeeze. He hesitated for a few seconds before pulling out to see what it was. The blonde nearly threw up when he saw a lifelike silicone penis on his hand. It was rather large and a nude beige color, with veins that went up and down the shaft. He tossed it on the bed with disgust, but continued to dig with hope of finding a normal pair of underwear. He felt a plastic bottle and what felt like multiple rings covered in foil. His stomach flip flopped. The blonde swallowed loudly and pulled out a bottle of "poppin' cherry" flavored lube and dozens of wrapped condoms.

"What the fuck Mike?"

Chester was mortified and he felt a little violated to say the least. What the he'll was Mike thinking? Did he get those things for himself, and maybe he just forgot to take them out of the bags? He emptied one of the bags and placed the sex supplies in it, to give back to Mike later. Chester inspected all the banana hammocks, and finally decided on a cheetah print one. He slipped into it trying not to pay too much attention to the fabric that now divided his cheeks.  
Chaz thought about all the fun he would have with Chris that day as he put his eyelit belt through the loops of his pants. There were so many things on his mind. So many worries and anxieties that he didn't know what mundane task to use as a distraction anymore. He grabbed a new container of hair gel from one of the bags and scooped a small amount with two fingers. The blonde spiked his short hair, twisting it a bit a the ends to make his do last a little longer. He smiled at his reflection pleased with himself and headed for the living room to wait for Chris.  
The t.v displayed a car chase between a cop car and a mustang. Dave and Rob were on the edge of their seats with their mouths wide open, until the mustang slammed into an 18 wheeler. A pool of blood began to appear under the crushed race car.

"Oh shit! That guy's dead!"

Dave laughed and clapped finally leaning back on the couch. While Rob just grinned and shook his head.

"What an ass. He should've just pulled over. I'd rather pay a ticket than die a gruesome death."

Rob looked away and reached for his sprite bottle when he noticed Chester's making a grosed out face at the t.v. Even when he made faces, he still looked so beautiful. Rob blinked rapidly and analyzed his sentiment for a moment. What the he'll was He thinking? When did start referring to Chester as beautiful?

"What fucked up shit are you guys watching?"

Chester piped up, still disgusted but couldn't look away from the t.v screen. Dave took a vhs case and waved it up high so his band mate could see.

"Faces of death...part six!"

Rob wrinkled his nose at the t.v and took a long hard look at Chester. He looked up and down at him. Wow his skin is so gorgeous. It looked so smooth. For a split second he wondered what the beautiful blonde smelled like, then Chaz' shrill scream shattered his train of thought.

"Oh my God, that guy just shot himself! Oh fuck! Why? His brains....oh my God."

Chester covered his mouth with both hands in shock and he backed into the wall. Rob jolted up from his seat, and instinctively wrapped his arms around the blonde giving him a bear hug. He blocked Chaz' view with his tall frame and stroked his back soothingly.

"You guys are sick...why are you watching that?"

The blonde leaned into the drumer's warmth still gagging at their choice of entertainment. Ron closed his eyes inhaling Chester's sweet musk. He smelled so good, like vanilla ice cream and fresh rain. Rob could hold him like this forever. He could just...eat him up. The drummer slowly pulled away from his band mate; realizing he'd been holding and sniffing him for almost a full minute. He looked at him from head to toe.

" what...um...what...what are you dressed up for? Where are you going? "

Chester flashed a small smile and looked at his shoes timidly.

"I'm gonna hang out with Chris for a little bit."

Rob furrowed his brows then glanced back at Dave who still had His eyes glued to the t.v

"That...older... drunk guy from our last gig?

The concerned drummer kept switching his glance from Dave to Chester. Something gave him the feeling Dave was in on this.

" Yeah, he's kinda cool. He's...he's a really nice guy"

Chester fiddled with his pockets avoiding Rob's piercing stare. He felt as if he was a fourteen year old girl going on her first date, and Rob was the cautious parent.

"Ches please don't, that guy looks like a mess. He's trouble."

The blonde frowned then finally looked up to meet Ron's worried stare.

" It's just for a little while. We're probably just going to have a hot dog or something and come back. "

The drummer exasperated and let out a bitter chuckle. He couldn't believe Chester could be so gullible. This Chris guy seemed way too old to be hanging around with someone as young and innocent as Chester.What if he hurt him or got him in trouble. This couldn't possibly end up well.

"Ches, guys like that don't go out for hot dogs with guys like us and just chill. They go to bars, get pissed drunk, and look for trouble."

Just as Rob turned to glare at Dave one last time two loud honks broke the tension in the room. Causing Chester to scurry to the front door, Rob right behind him ready to put a large hand on the door to keep his band mate from leaving. Chester turned the knob and pulled but failed to open it. The drummer 's weight kept the door from moving in the slightest.

"Just promise me you'll be careful Ches. Please. Remember we're recording tomorrow."

Chester looked up and into Ron's deep brown eyes, and gave him a warm smile. He gave his gentle giant a hug inhaling his crisp clean aroma as he did so. He felt so soft and comforting.

"Thanks for caring Rob. I'll be back in a while. Bye Dave!"

Dave grinned and waved excitedly .

"Have fun buddy!"

The door was shut and Rob opened it again to see Chaz' skinny frame run towards Chris' fast car. Chris appeared to be smoking, and had a devilish grin that made Rob's heart race. Was it worry? Was it fear? Could it be, Jealousy? He watched Chester disappear into the speedy car, and watched as the troublesome man drove away into the darkness. He curled his large hands into fists and shut the door, once again glaring at Dave.

"Did you put him up to this?

Dave turned and gave Rob a puzzled look.

" What? No...why would you think that? "

Rob began to pace back and forward by the door. His emotions for the first time getting the best of him. He didn't understand why he was feeling so restless all of a sudden.

"Come on Dave, You're Chris Cornell's biggest fan. You think it's cool that Ches is becoming friends with him. So you persuade him to hang out with that trouble maker so you can live vicariously through him."

Dave sat in silence with his mouth agape in disbelief. Rob had steam coming out of his ears as he huffed and placed like a caged animal. Dave smirked then let out a chuckle, causing Rob to glare at him silently.

"Rob. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way or anything, but are you jealous?"

" What! No! Why would I want to hang out with that troublemaker? "

Dave gave him a puzzled look then laughed.

"No I mean, are you jealous because...well...because you have a thing for Chester?"

Rob froze then spun to look at his friend in the eye. He repeated the question in his mind, then shook his head.

"No. He's our friend. He seems like a really nice guy, and he's a great singer I wouldn't want the band to lose him. I'm not gay Dave."

The drummer said the last part in a "as a matter of fact" tone. Dave just nodded, but wasn't completely buying Rob's alibi. They'd known each other since they were in middle school. Rob was as straight as a ruler, but lately he'd been a little more aware of Chester's needs, his interests, and he seemed to care about him a little more than usual. He never really said much but when he did they'd always end up talking about Chester. Dave stayed in the living room and removed the tape from the vhs player. Once Rob went back to his room he closed his eyes and dozed off on the couch.  
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Chris drove wildly screeching his tires and speeding more and more by the minute. Chester laughed and clutched his seatbelt tightly. Chris had a huge grin across his face and would momentarily glance at the beaming blonde. He finally stopped at an almost empty parking lot, turning off his car. He drummed his thumbs on the starting wheel and chuckled, reaching for his trusty whiskey bottle. Like usual, he tilted the bottle and chugged it for a half minute before offering it to the young blonde.

"So, I see you got a new look. Record label made you do it?"

Chester took a small sip ,and winced at the harsh sting it left behind after he swallowed. Making a nauseating face he handed the poison back to the wild man; who laughed at the blonde's poor tolerance .

" No, it was Actually Mike"

To this Chris raised his brows taking another swig of his whiskey.

"He's a controlling little shit isn't he?"

Chester remembered all the weird sex stuff in his bags and gagged.

" Yeah...yeah he is. "

He was about to get lost in thought when he saw the bottle in front of his face again. He politely pushed it away, trying his best not to offend Chris.

"What's wrong? You don't like it kid?"

Chris then took another long swig while he waited for the blonde to speak up.

" It's just... A little too strong. What is it? "

The older man smiled proudly and raided his bottle showing it off to Chester.

"This is wild turkey 101. Best whiskey in the west. I'm not a big fan of Jack it's too sweet in my opinion. Jim's okay and Jhonny's red lable tastes like an ashtray. So as you can guess, I'm not a big fan of scotch. At least not in it's own."

He took a small sip this time , then gave his favorite bottle one long romantic look before hiding it under the seat again.

"Would you care to play some pool Chester."

He asked cocking an eyebrow. Chester bit his lip and looked at his hands as of they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

"I don't know how."

Chris layed a heavy hand on his shoulder making his head snap up.

" that's alright kid, Ill teach you.“

Chris and Chester made their way into the bar. It wasn't anything too big or extravagant at all, by any means. The stools were metal with a simple design, enough to serve their basic purpose. There were three pool tables that were placed far away from a decently sized L shapped bar. The lights were dim and a tinted red color. There was low music in the background that made the bar not feel so lonely ,and only one customer sat at the bar. An old man sat there in silence thoughtfully. From the looks of his collection of empty Collins glasses, he'd seem like he'd been there for a while. He wore a well tailored, clean, gray business suit, but juxtaposed had unkempt long white hair and a beard to match. He looked like old father time worked part time as a car salesman.  
Chris walked up to the bar and gave the old man a nod as if to say hello. The old man quietly nodded back and continued to sip from a skinny straw in his drink. The bartender, who was a short young woman with curly jet black hair and ruby lips came to Chris' aid. She smiled giving him a seductive look while she wiped down the space in front of him.

"What can I get for you handsome?

Chris seemed flattered with the simple compliment and thanked her with a cheeky smile.

"I'll have a four horsemen, and my buddy here will have a...What do you want Chester? My treat."

He turned to look at Chester who shrugged his shoulders a little, looking unsure.

"Um...I'll Have an appletini"

Everyone turned to look at him an raised their eyebrows, including old father time. Chester seemed to shrink a little under everyone's stare. He buried his hands deep into his pockets, trying to disappear into his own pants. He curled his lower lip in and began to chew on it while everyone removed their eyes from him.

"Yeah...and my buddy will have...that"

The bartender smiled and allowed herself to make wide eyes while she turned mouthing the word "ok" to herself. She poured, and shook, and then shook again, and in two shakes of a lamb's tail she had both drinks ready. Never losing her flirtatious smile and the twinkle in her eye she handed Chris the drinks. She took her payment and continued to wipe down the bar. While her new customers went to a pool table with their drinks.  
Chris put their drinks down on a cocktail table near by and made his way over to to stand of pool cues. He inspected them and rolled them on the pool table looking at them from the side. Every now and then he would grunt and put it back on the stand. After a couple of grunts later, he picked two pool cues and gave one to Chester.

"So, there are many ways of playing pool, but today I'll be teaching you eight ball"

Chris took a sip from his drink and grabed a giant triangle that resembled a cookie cutter, but really big. He arranged all the pool balls in an order that was unknown to Chester. Then he placed the balls not quite in the middle of the table, but close. He gently removed the triangle and was left with all the balls in perfect triangular formation. All but one. There was one blank ball that Chris held up to show it to his friend.

"All the balls go in that triangle, except for this one. This here is called a cue ball. We're going to use the cue ball to break the triangle. Then we can determine if you're solids or stripes."

Chester looked a little confused but only nodded. He watched as Chris rubbed the tips of the cues with some blue powdery square.

"There're balls with a stripe across and ones that are a solid color. Which ever ball makes it to one of the little baskets in the corners; determines which ones you'll be be playing with the rest of the match."

Chris handed a cue to Chester who froze in place, unsure of what to do. He held the cue stick awkwardly and looked cluelesly at the older man.

"Come here kid, I'll show you how to break"

Chester walked to Chris who gently pinned him against the pool table, so that they were both facing the balls on the opposite side of the table. He hovered over the blonde, then leaned forward bringing him down with him. They were both bent over on the table, and seemed to be spooning. Chris went on about the rules of the game while Chester began to get lost in his thoughts. He felt Chris hold his hand on the cue stick then the heat of his groin, against his butt cheeks. The blonde felt his member begin to grow and harden at his friend's touch. All sense of reason went out the window, and all Chester could think of was how bad he wanted Chris inside of him. He bit his lip and tried to focus and will away his yearning.  
The rest of the evening was a constant battle between his mind and his penis. Every slight touch and every look from Chris felt like ecstasy. It was driving him more insane by the minute. Chester knew that the next time he had a moment alone, he would pleasure himself to Chris. He couldn't deny it anymore. Was it just an itch? Was it curiosity? Or was he really gay? Two hours and many drinks later Chris looked at him with heavy eyes. He stumbled a little and hit the the cue ball ,which then hit the eight ball making a clean fall into one of the pockets.

"And that's how you play eight ball"

Chester quietly smiled a little at his opponent and rubbed his own arms trying to create a little warmth. Chris noticed this and chugged the last bit of his drink.

"Are you cold kid?"

The blonde nodded still hugging himself, when Chris decided to peel his black leather jacket off. He draped it over Chester and stared into his eyes for a minute enjoying their coffee color

" Let's get out of here."

Chester blushed a little at the caring gesture. He inhaled Chris manly scent that lingered on his jacket and nuzzled the lapel. He wasn't far behind from Chris who stumbled towards their ride in the vacant parking lot, when he felt a pair of hands grab him from behind. Next thing he knew a blade was being shoved in his mouth. Chester let out a shrill scream that made Chris do a quick one eighty into a second perpetrator 's fist. Both were in all black clothing and had bandanas as makeshift masks. Even though Chris was heavily intoxicated he wiped a drop of blood off his face and kept his eyes glued to the thugs. They both ganged up on Chester who had tears rolling down his cheeks. Chris was sure that if one of the thugs wasn't holding on to him he'd be a crying mess on the floor. One of them punched Chester on the stomach while the other held him in place.

"This is from Marcus!"

The thug throwing the punches announced before landing another punch into Chester's already tender stomach. He prepared himself to punch the blonde once more when he heard something familiar behind him. The sound of a gun being cocked. About six feet behind him stood Chris pointing a silver revolver, and he was ready to shoot.


	6. Getaway Car

The adrenaline coursing through Chris' veins helped him keep his focus. He still stumbled a little, but not as much anymore. Chester sobbed uncontrollably while one of the thugs still held him in place. Chris' saw him trembling trying to fold over in pain. He got a little closer to the perpetrator that was suddenly halted by his gun.

"Never bring a knife to a gun fight. Let him go, or I'll blow your brains out."

The thug holding Chester let him go, and gently shoved him towards Chris. They both raised their hands in the air and backed away a little . Chester ran and shielded himself behind his older friend, and snuggled his leather Jacket.

"What the fuck do you want? Whose Marcus?"

Chris pointed his gun around at the two perpetrators, waiting for an answer. They both looked at each other with their hands still up, and one began to explain.

"That skinny white boy stole some money from our boss. Our Boss told us he had a white charger. We were just gonna teach him a lesson."

Chris laughed bitterly still pointing the gun at the thugs. His laugh went from a low kind of chuckle to loud meniacle laughter. He hovered his free hand over his mouth and turned his head; flashing his dozy eyes at Chester who seemed very confused by his sudden change in demeanor. His hyena like laughter caused the thugs to look at each other with fear. Then suddenly when everyone least expected it Chris stopped laughing a dime, and grabbed one of the thugs by the neck. He pointed his revolver at the guy's head and walked him over to his car.

"What kind of car is this?"

He screamed into the guy's ear shaking him around. The thug shook and stuttered out his answer.

" It's a w...white.....ch...charger. "

Chris turned a dark shade of red and yanked the thugs hair shaking him around as he did so. He began to scream into the guy's ear again, still aiming his gun at his head.

"My car is not a charger! IT'S A FUCKING CHALLENGER! Know the difference before you go beating people up you asshat! Now get the fuck out of here!" 

He shoved the thug away so hard the guy landed on his ass. Chris lowered his gun and glared at the pathetic pair, who fled with their tails between their legs. He waited for them to completely vanish before shoving his revolver behind him into his pants. He snorted took a cigarette and lit it, still glaring at their general direction. He inhaled the sweet tobacco and turned to face Chester who was still trembling behind him. Chris stumbled towards him and cupped one of his cheeks with one hand. 

" are you ok kid? "

The blonde nodded slowly and broke down. Chester's vulnerability pulled on Chris' heartstrings, making him hold him in a warm protective embrace. He rubbed his back soothingly holding him tightly.

"Shhh, it's ok kiddo, I got you."

Chris looked at his car and realized he was seeing double , which meant it was time to go home. He rubbed his eyes and let go of his friend. He tugged his hand to get his attention and took another puff of his cigarette.

"Come on, we gotta go buddy."

The pair got into their getaway car and drove away. Chris wasn't speeding like he normally was. Instead he drove calmly as he was trying not to scare Chester any more that night. He could tell the blonde was shaken. Why did people always had to beat him up? He thought to himself. He'd glance at his friend every time he stopped at a red light and noticed how boyish his features were. Underneath his urban makeover, he still saw a vulnerable young man that had his wings clipped too many times. At the next stop light he looked over and saw that there were wet streaks on his cheeks. He had been looking down the whole time, but Chris could tell he'd been crying.

"How's your stomach?"

Chester hugged himself and sniffed before momentarily looking up at Chris.

"It hurts."

Chris reached over and rubbed the back of his neck while he waited for the light to turn green again.

"You're gonna be okay kiddo."

They continued to drive in silence until Chris turned the radio on. The song instantly painted a smile on Chris' face. There was an acustic, mellow melody that softly played. The older man began to sing the words then glanced at Chester.

"This was the first song I ever learned how to play on guitar."

Chester looked up and listened to the lyrics. A small smile began to spread on his face too.

"It's nice, Who is it.?

" sunshine on my shoulders by John Denver. I love that song, brings back a lot of great memories. "

The blonde simply smiled and allowed the song to soothe his nerves a little. They spent ten more minutes on the road, and before he knew it they had arrived to some large white gates. They automatically swung open, and Chris drove on a long drive way that lead them to a gargantuan white house. There was a very large fountain in the centre that had some type of ivy draped over it. Well trimmed hedges decorated the perimeter of the mansion. This didn't look like any house Chester had seen before. It was like something out of a movie.  
The car stopped and Chester looked around then looked at Chris with his mouth wide open. The older man gave him a friendly smile. His green eyes twinkling.

"Where are we?"

Chester asked surprised. This was surreal.

"We're at my place. I'm too drunk to drive you all the way back home right now, but I'll take you back tomorrow. Is that ok?"

Chris looked into Chester's eyes who was still overwhelmed with the amazing view of his home. Unable to speak, he simply nodded. They both exited the car, and the blonde remained speechless but went completely mute once inside. The whole house was a eggshell white on the inside. There were vaces on every corner full of pink and white roses. Classic paintings adequately decorated spaces that would have otherwise been empty. Several Greek diety statues and a large marble staircase that he imagined, must lead to heaven. Chester looked up and saw a chandelier the size of Chris' car, that illuminated everything so perfectly. His jaw was hitting the floor, then felt Chris cup his face with both hands.  
Chester had a difficult time focusing, because between this amazing home and Chris' dozy emerald green eyes this really felt like heaven. Had those thugs beat him to death? Did he get stabbed? Was he dreaming? This couldn't be real.

"There's three stories. There's thirty rooms. You can have whichever one you like. The fridge is full in case you get hungry. I'll be in the living room."

Chris looked down at Chester then have him a hug before walking away to the right wing of the mansion. Chester looked around the grand foyer and took in all of the beauty. He felt like a child in a museum. He didn't really know which way to go so he ran after Chris instead. Once he caught up to him he noticed Chris was stumbling around more than before. He promptly grabbed his friend by the arm and draped it over his shoulders. Chris looked down at Chester and smiled.

"You're a sweet kid."

They shuffled into the living room and Chester helped his friend onto a love seat. He looked around at the space and saw there were a couple of love seats, an L shapped sectional, and a circular day bed by a very large window. All the seating was white leather, except for a pair of silver chairs that were strategically placed by a table with a black rotary phone on it. There were a couple of blankets on the other couches that clashed with the overall look of the house. They looked very out of place, as if they'd come from other rooms of the house. There were dozens of beer cans and bottles that lined the glass coffee table. Clothes were carelessly thrown on the floor and other couches. It looked as if Chris had been steeping in his emotions for a while. His chaotic personality was reflected in the room. Chester was about to walk towards the window to look at the view when Chris mumbled something incoherent and began to snore. He grabbed one of the blankets and shrouded his friend with it, making sure he was comfortable.  
As if on queue his stomach rumbled and he instinctively rubbed it. Fuck I'm hungry he thought to himself, and left his friend to go on a quest for food. He went into several rooms in search of the kitchen. One bigger and more impressive than the one before. After what seemed like an eternity he found the kitchen, which like the rest of the house was very large and extravagant. He quickly walked to a large metal fridge and swung both doors open in search of some sustinense, and frowned when all he saw was a multitude of liquor bottles. There was no vacancy . Not even for a water bottle.

"Oh my God...where's the food?" 

He let out a chuckle on disbelief. What did this man eat? He closed the refrigerator doors and spin around, that's when he noticed there was another fridge in front of a very large stove. Expecting to find more liquor he quickly pulled the doors open, and was relieved when he saw that it was stocked full of food. He smiled and pulled out cold cuts, mayo, rye bread, and Swiss cheese. Chester stacked all the ingredients to create a triple decker sandwich. He closed his eyes, bit into his creation and had a foodgasm.

"Mmmmm...that's so good"

He whispered to no one. Pleased with his meal. Chester was so engrossed with his delicious sandwich that it took him a while to realise he had been moaning in the middle of Chris' kitchen. He caught himself and imagined how embarrassing it would've been if Chris would've caught him. Chester left the kitchen with a half eaten sandwich on hand and explored his new surroundings. He couldn't imagine how nice it must be to live in a place like this. He imagined it was a lot like living in a work of art. After a few minutes of walking he stopped in front of two white Louie XV French style doors. He pulled them revealing a spacious room with a large canopy bed. The fabric was cream gold colored and ornate. There was a vanity and an S shaped couch in the middle of the room.  
Chester walked over to one of the bedside tables and picked up a picture frame. With one hand he wiped away the thick layer of dust that had stuck to it. He smiled as he looked at it and saw Chris' face but then his smile slowly faded away, when he saw he was holding a woman in a wedding gown. Chris had a huge grin and he carried her honeymoon style in front of the fountain he saw earlier. He sat the picture right back where he got it from and felt as if something had died inside of him. He felt his heart sink. He was...disappointed? Why did Chris being straight bother him so much?. He frowned and fell back on the bed rolled over and covered himself. Not even the luxurious feel of the silk sheets he laid on made him feel better. Chester yawned and let the sadness that lingered in the room, lull him to sleep.

The night flew by quickly. Too quickly in Chester's opinion. He rolled over and tried to blink the sleep away, then rubbed his eyes. He winced and furrowed his brows realizing there was a mirror over the bed under the canopy. He nearly screamed when he saw the reflection of a shirtless Chris laying next to him. His head snapped to the side as he breathed in sharply. He was looking straight into Chris' eyes when the older man smiled at him.

" I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. I see you chose the master suite. Did you sleep alright? "

Chester looked at Chris' face then inevitably his eyes wondered down to his muscular torso. Wow he looks so good. Fuck! His stare traced Chris' hip bones, that peeked above the hem line of his very tight denim pants. They squeezed and hugged him in all the right places. The succulent view made Chester subconsciously lick his lips and swallow hard.

"Hello...earth to Chester..."

Chris was flashing that beautiful smile of his again, and waving his hand in front of Chester's face. The blonde cleared his throat and looked away trying to hide his thoughts from Chris.

"Um...yeah. I rested well. You didn't tell me you were married." 

The sentiment simply left his mouth before he could stop himself. Chris furrowed his brows and cleared his throat. He followed Chester 's glance to the picture frame on the bedside table. His smile faded.

"I'm not anymore. That was my ex wife. She left me two years ago. This used to be our bedroom"

Chris layed back down on the bed crossing his arms behind his head. He looked at his reflection, and stated into the past. Chester simply turned so that he was facing him. He honestly couldn't get enough of his beautiful golden skin.

"I came back early from my last gig with Soundgarden. I'm tired, but happy to finally see my wife and my kids. I come home expecting to see her sleeping or playing with our babies. Instead I see her fucking some other guy...in our house. On our bed. I haven't been in here since."

Chester remained silent but watched a lonely tear leave one of Chris' gorgeous eyes. He sniffed and quickly wiped it away. The blonde felt a sudden wave of guilt was over him.

"I'm sorry I mentioned it. Really I am." 

Chris smiled and leaned forward supporting himself on his elbows. His flawless chiseled abs flexed as he did so, immediately catching Chester 's attention. He swallowed his arousal nervously clasping his hands over his lap.

"Don't be. It's alright. You didn't know."

Chris chuckled , then sat on the bed. He stared into the young blonde's eyes for a moment then walked over to a gold colored room dividor by the S shaped couch. Chester swung his feet idly then turned his head, and saw Chris pants on the floor behind the screen. Before he realized what was going on Chris re-appeared only wearing a white towel around his waist. Chester felt a familiar stir in his pants. Oh no...shit. Not now. 

" Hey kid, I'm going to take a shower. I'll be out in a minute "

Chris bit his lower lip then turned back around and made sure Chester was looking at him. He licked his lips then winked at him before disappearing behind a glass door. Chester swallowed hard, and tried to tame his erection with one hand.


	7. Wanted

Chris drove fast on the freeway. He had a wide smile on his face as he told Chester a funny story about his childhood. He would periodically end his laughter to take a puff from his cigarette.

"and that is why I wasn't allowed back to Catholic school as a kid."

He chuckled at the memory, then flicked the cigarette butt out of his window. Chester laughed rubbing his stomach, occasionally glancing at Chris.

"What about you kid? How was life growing up for you? It wasn't that long ago for sure."

Chester averted his eyes and slid both palms between his legs. His smile slowly fading, as he thought about the disgusting things that were done to him. The rough and filthy hands of that kid. The ambiance in the car quickly shifted from lighthearted to somber. Chris' smile faded away as he took a look at Chester.

"Did your parents split up?"

Chris wondered, very concerned about the blonde's sudden silence. Chester sank deeper into the passenger seat, feeling ashamed and guilty. Disgusting.

" amongst other things...yes"

Chris continued to drive getting closer to Chester's house. He knew there was more to the kid, but he didn't want to ask more questions. The last thing he wanted to do was upset him more. So he did the only thing he knew how to do best, comfort him.

"It's ok kid, my parents split up too. I know what it's like. It's not easy."

Chester nodded in silence and watched the road as Chris pulled up to his house. The slow purring of the powerful engine let him know that they had arrived. He felt Chris hand on his, then felt his thumb stoking his knuckles. The blonde looked up a little shocked but didn't pull away from Chris' gentle touch. He looked into his mystic eyes enjoying the moment, then Chris spoke up.

"If you need anything...anything at all. You know where to find me."

Chester nodded slowly, trying his best not to get lost in those lovely verdant pools.

"Thanks for saving me last night...again"

Both chuckled, their hands still touching.

"Anytime kid"

They sat there in silence for a moment, until Chris brought his hand back to the stearing wheel. Realizing he'd been holding Chester 's hand too long. He felt a rush of blood go up his cheeks so he looked away smiling. This kid made him feel strange sometimes. Chester exited the car and was all chuckles. Chris looked out the window and waved.

"Good luck recording kid!"

Chester turned and smiled, waving goodbye. He watched as Chris reved his engine and peel off the drive way. He felt his cheeks become sore from smiling so much, but just as he was about to put his key in the keyhole of the front door, it swung open on it's own. He found himself looking at Rob's chest then Rob's worried face.

"Where have you been Ches?"

Chester looked at him a bit surprised, then felt a pang of guilt as he remembered telling Rob he'd be back in a few hours. His lips curled in as he looked for an easy answer for Rob.

"Chris had a little too much to drink last night, and he couldn't drive me back until today. I'm sorry."

Rob looked upset. His face began to flush.

"I've been worried sick. Fuck me!"

Rob angrily kicked a couch cushion to the side then sat with his face in his palms. Why did Chester hype him up so much. He used to be calm and strong, but now he always seemed to be on edge. Hair triggered by anything his band mate did. _Fuck this is so embarrassing._ Chester shut the door behind him and sat next to him. He stared at his trembling form then hugged him.

"I'm sorry Robbie. I didn't mean to worry you."

The drummer looked up giving him an angry puzzled look. He was about to let him have it but then saw Chester's chocolate brown eyes, his flawless skin, and his charming smile he just couldn't. Chester's presence disarmed him. His skinny arms around him felt like the ultimate comfort. Rob chuckled, and turned to look at him.

"Since when did you start calling me Robbie?"

" I've always called you that...in my head. "

Chester laughed rubbing his back. Rob turned his head and smiled at him.

"Well, I'm glad you're back."

For the next few seconds Rob stated at Chester _he's so sweet_. Then Mike came loudly into the room. He was dressed in his best clothes and smelled like a crisp clean cologne. He had a few cassette tapes in a shoe box along with a stack of papers and flashed a smile at Chester.

"Hey Chazzy Chaz! Ready to record today?

The half Asian seemed exited, and ran a hand through his hair making sure that not one of them was sticking out. Chester nodded quickly getting up and headed for his room. Mike followed him with his stare, but continued to sort through the stack of papers.

" where are you going buddy? "

"I just need to change my shirt! Give me a minute!"

The singer yelled from the other room. Rob could tell he'd been smiling. It was nice to see Chester smiling for once. His smile was too beautiful for the world not to see. He then squinted and though about what Dave had asked him the night before. Rob entertained the idea for a while. _Could I be gay? Nah Ches is just a cool guy. That's all...right?_ Rob shook his head and his thoughts with it and began to drum a beat on his legs to distract himself.  
Meanwhile Mike shuffled through some papers when Chester's muffled voice could be heard from his room. Mike looked up and froze to try to hear him better.

"What's that Chazzy?"

The half Asian heard him again but found his himself hard of hearing. He put the cassette tapes and papers down and excused himself to see what Chester needed. He strutted down the hall, until he saw Chester fixing his hair again in front of his tiny morror. He had changed his shirt to a red one with a silver star decal on the front.

"What's up Chazzy? I couldn't hear you."

The singer picked up a shopping bag and handed it to the emcee with care.

" I think these are yours. You probably forgot to take them out of the bags. "

Mike grabbed the bag and took a peek inside then chuckled. He took out the life like phallic object and got a little closer to Chester. He licked his lips seductively and gently stoked the blonde's face with the head of the silicone penis.

"baby, I got all this stuff just for you. This way you can prep before we make love for the first time. "  
  
Chester began to shake, and backed into a wall. He looked at the floor and balled his fists by his sides.  
  
"M...m..Mike y...you know I'm m...married. I'm not...gay"

Mike got a lot closer so that his torso was touching Chester's. He stoked his nose up the singer's jaw line until he reached his ear, then whispered something that made his skin crawl.

"You don't know that baby, give it a try. I can make you feel **really** good."

The emcee then began to nibble on the singer's ear making him inhale sharply in surprise. The nibles quickly turned into gentle kisses that went up and down his neck. Chester was flooded with an array of emotions. He was afraid, disgusted, but at the Same time he couldn't bring himself up to stop Mike. There were a couple of things holding him back. He would rather have creepy kisses from Mike, than his beatings and humiliations. In his mind any kiss or caress was better than two black eyes and bruises.   
The second reason was that even though he didn't want this kind of attention from the emcee, something about it didn't feel as wrong as it should. He trembled, but closed his eyes and felt Mike's kisses turn into gentle sucks. Chester's breathing became more rapid and shallow, when he felt the emcee began to cup his balls over his pants. He was about to shove Mike away when Rob's voice broke them apart. Mike spun around casually as if he wasn't just groping the singer.

"Uhh...I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something, but I just got a call from Dave and the rest of the guys. They're waiting for us at the studio."

Rob stood there awkwardly and rubbed the nape of his neck with one hand, observing the scene. He caught a glimpse of the dildo in Mike's hand before he hid it behind his back. The drummer felt his cheeks flush and he excused himself with a wave and walked away. He made his way to the car and couldn't shake the scene away from his mind. _Did I just catch them making out? What the fuck? Mike didn't even like Chester and now they make out?_  
Just as he was processing what he had witness he heard the front door slam. He peeked out the window and saw Chester storming out of their dilapidated house. He looked alarmed and was wiping his eyes as he stomped towards the car. He quickly opened the door and stepped inside in silence. Rob noticed he was trembling and crossed his arms on his chest as if he was insecure about something. Rob studied him for a minute.

"Are you okay Ches?"

"I'm fine Robbie."

The blonde barely whispered avoiding Rob's stare. He began to nibble on a fingernail like he always did when he was nervous or scared. Rob took a mental note to ask again later when Chester was a little more calm. Something didn't seem right. Mike got into the driver's seat turned the key of his little black Toyota and began to drive. Aside from Mike's occasional comment on how they were going to be big, they drove in silence. Rob simply nodded or said "hmm" every other moment. Chester continued to nibble on his other finger nails. The drummer turned to look at his band mate who seemed to be in a trans, nibbling and tearing at his nails. He pulled a little too hard on a nail and drew some blood from the nail bed.

"Ow...shhhit"  
  
Rob winced and promptly grabbed Chester's hand to inspect it. The nail from his ring finger was still bleeding. He held his hand in his and squeezed it trying to soothe the singer.  
  
"Oh Ches..You barely have fingernails. Why do you keep nibbling on them?"

The blonde shrugged and allowed Rob to soothe his hand. The slow motion of the car and Mike's boring voice eventually lulled him to a light sleep. Rob still held his hand and half smiled when Chester's upper body slid to the side, turning Rob's shoulder into his pillow. The drummer then took the opportunity to close his eyes and smell his band mate's hair. It was a light sweet vanilla scent that relaxed every muscle in his body. Rob knew the drive wasn't long but he tried to enjoy every second of it. Being next to Chester this way felt amazing.  
Mike's voice was just buzzing in the background. It was noise he didn't care about. The kind of mindless jibber jabber he loathed from people. He wished he could just be left alone with Chester for hours. _The things we would do..._ He thought to himself. He buried his nose in the blonde's hair and wished he could live in it. Then Rob had a little moment of interspection. Chester made him feel and think things he never thought he could about a man before. He wanted to hold his hand, hug him, even maybe...kiss him? _I think I'm gay...for Ches. I wonder...if he's into that sort of thing too?_  
The little black Toyota finally came to a halt in front of a very tall building that had mirrors for Windows. This was it. This was the end of the beautiful ride and Rob couldn't be more displeased. He closed his eyes and found the strength to remove his nose from Chester's beautiful blonde locks. He stared at his sleeping form and felt guilty, yet privileged to be the one to wake this sleeping beauty. He stroked his cheek with the back of his hand then gently shook his shoulder.

"Ches...wake up, we're here."

The blonde snuggled up to the drummer making him laugh. He shook him again and the blonde finally looked up with sleepy eyes. He blinked several times and tried to focus on their surroundings. This reminded Mike he had to do one more thing before they all got out of the car. He got a paper bag from out of the large box that was next to him on the passenger side. He smiled and took out a small case and handed it to Chester. The blonde hesitated before taking it. He hoped it wasn't another sex toy _, and in front of Rob this time, how embarrassing._ He slowly opened the case and revealed a pair of black, square, thick rimmed glasses. He looked up at Mike confused by the odd gesture.

"I got them just for you! They have your prescription! Try them on Chazzy."

Mike smiled and reached for them unfolding the arms, then placed them over Chester's face. The blonde looked puzzled and gently pat the rims of his new glasses with his fingertips.

"How did...you get my prescription?"

The emcee grinned happily and nudged Chester on the shoulder.

" Oh come on Chazzy! I know lots of things. Now come on the guys are waiting for us! "

Mike grabbed the paperwork and cassette tapes and happily hopped our of the car. Chester turned to look at Rob with uncertainty and brought a hand up to chew on his nails, when the drummer stopped him.

"Ches no. You're okay, you look...great. There's no need to worry. Come on."

The three men walked into the luxurious building looking completely out of place. Everyone that entered and left the building wore suits, or tailored designer wear. Every now and then they'd see someone who was a little eccentric. Chester assumed that they were the "talent". Many of them turned their noses up at three when they walked by. One long elevator ride and thirteen floors later, and the trio found themselves at the recording studio. Mike walked up to a man who was well in his 60's with salt and pepper hair, and hugged him tightly as if he'd known him all his life. Rob and Chester looked at each other questioning Mike's unfit friendly attitude. Mike and the man now known as Jim, conversed for a good 40 minutes before he decided to include the rest of them in the conversation.  
There was Mike, of course. Dave, Rob, Joe, and Brad. Joe was the DJ and programmer of the band. He was responsible for the urban flare of the nu-metal band. He was friendly and had a dry sense of humor. He was half Korean and had a stocky build that set him apart from the rest of the band. But the best thing about Joe was that he always had a snack hidden somewhere.   
Then there was Brad, the shy guitarist with tight dark curls. More Often than not he wore a pair of headphones while he practiced his riffs in some dark corner. Every now and then he would help out with lyrics but he mostly just kept to himself. Chester always got the feeling he didn't like him very much, because whenever Mike would give him his "Pep talks" he would giggle to himself. A couple of times while Chester was on the floor getting kicked or Mike was beating him unconscious, he'd see Brad calmly having a snack while he witnessed it all. Chester's mind wondered off to darker times as Jim got closer to him. Jim stretched his hand out smiling at Chester who was galaxies away. Dave nudged him bringing him back to reality.

"And who is this cute little specimen?"

Chester lightly shook his hand and glued his eyes to the floor. A few seconds later he tried to pull away but Jim Didn't let him go. Instead he gripped his hand tighter and shook firmly searching for Chester's eyes. Eventually the blonde looked up but couldn't hold his gaze, so he focused on Jim's sky blue button down instead. Dave smiled and couldn't help answering for Chaz.

"That's Chester! He's out singer Sir! His voice is incredible!"

Dave hugged the singer tightly and smiled at Jim who stared wide eyed at a very timid Chester. He then gripped the blonde's shoulder firmly.

"Is that so!? Perk up son! You're going to be big! Look up, be proud! You're supposed to look menacing! Wild! untamable! I can picture it now! Hundreds and thousands of angsty teens going crazy for you!"

Jim looked past Chester and spread an imaginary banner in front of himself. His jolly smile captivated the rest of the band's attention. They all glanced at each other and smiled as Jim teased their imagination. He looked at Chester up and down grabbed him by the shoulders, then spun him around like merchandise. He put his index finger on his chin the crossed his arms looking at him thoughtfully.

"You need piercings! Tattoos! A spiked collar that says 'I'm a bad boy, ladies....Come and get it.' I like it! First things first. You boys need to get to work. You have until 6pm sharp. Use that time wisely and let's make this happen!"

Jim shook everyone's hand but gave Chester a tight bear hug. He smiled at him and padded him on the back. He walked towards the glass doors of the studio, and waved goodbye at everyone before leaving. Chester stood dumbfounded while the rest of the band cheered. Mike clapped loudly getting his attention.

"Alright guys come on! Let's get to work! ."


	8. Cumming to terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, so this is when things start to get a little steamy. Please leave a comment to tell me how I'm doing. Are you liking the story? Why? Or why not? Any feedback is appreciated. Happy reading! Enjoy!

"Alright, I need you to do that one more time Chazzy."

Everyone signed and rolled their eyes at the emcee who demanded for a 20th take of a chorus. He pushed on a button and talked to the singer, who seemed out of breath inside a small vocal booth. Mike smiled and spoke into a microphone and turned a couple of knobs on a long soundboard. Chester leaned against one of the walls of the vocal booth, and covered his face with both hands in frustration. It was hot, and he was covered in sweat. His shirt was damp and uncomfortable. He fought back tears and got closer to the mic.

"Mike...can we just continue next time...please?

Mike smiled and pushed the button again.

" come on buddy, just one more time. Then we can all go home. "

He let go of the button and everyone could hear small whimpers and sniffing. Rob glared at Mike's back and couldn't help himself from speaking up.

"Mike, we've been here for eight hours, we've completed five full songs. You've made Chester sing the same song over twenty times. He's exhausted. We're exhausted."

The emcee turned to glare at drummer when he saw the whole band nod in agreement with Rob. Mike looked at them from his office chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He took a deep breath and gave everyone a sour look. Chester 's whimpers could still be heard in the background.

"You guys can go home. Take Joe's car or whatever. But I need Chester to do this as many times as it takes to make this track perfect."

Brad and Joe looked at each other then nodded and shrugged walking away. Both of them grabbed their things and exited the studio, while Rob and Dave glanced at each other. They both looked at Mike critically and Dave spoke up this time.

" You don't think you're pushing Ches a bit too much today? He did great. "

Chester 's whimpers got a little louder making Rob clench his Jaw in anger. His eyes winced as he stated to pace. Mike seemed to be waiting for both men to leave, when he finally grew impatient and got off his chair and made his way to the vocal both. Dave followed the emcee with his eyes, remembering the bruise Chester had on his face a few days before. He gulped and looked at Rob who turned a dark shade of red. They both looked up at the speaker from the vocal booth when they heard Chester wail.

"No! I'm sorry Mike! NO! NO! PLEASE NO!"

Rob had enough and jumped towards the vocal both when he felt Dave's grip on his wrist. He shook his head with wide eyes, and Rob calmed down when he heard Mike softly whispering

"Hey..hey Chazzy. Hey buddy, can you do this for me just one more time?" 

" I'm hot....I'm tired. Can we please go home? I'll nail it tomorrow..I promise."

Chester pleaded between sobs and both Rob and Dave could hear shuffling. Then the emcee whispering again.

"Please Chazzy Chaz. One more time? No? It's okay don't cry...no I'm not going to hurt you.

Rob pulled away from Dave's grip stomped to the vocal booth and swung the door open. Chester looked like hell, he was covered in a sheen of sweat, had the biggest dark circles under his eyes, and had tears streaming down his cheeks. He looked disheveled and exhausted. As if he hadn't slept or eaten anything for days. Rob glared at Mike and breathed loudly trying, but failing to keep himself calm. He shoved Mike out of the way and pulled the singer out of the vocal booth. Chester wiped his tears making sure to keep close to Rob, who began to speak .

"He said NO. No, means no. If you want to stay here all night long that's fine, but we're tired. I'll call us a cab."

Dave watched the scene unfold while his Jaw hit the floor. In all the years he'd known Rob, he'd never seen him so upset, much less speak while he was upset. He was afraid for Mike's face. Then remembered to close his mouth again when he saw the gentle not so gentle giant heading over to him. He tugged Chester by the hand while the blonde still cried. Dave swallowed a lump in his throat and grabbed the case to his bass. Rob stopped in front of him for a moment, still holding Chester's hand. 

"I'm going to get Ches some water. I'll be in the lobby if you need me."

Dave noded quietly, glancing at Chester who was still in tears behind the drummer .

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'll do it tomorrow..."

Rob sighed and tugged the singer while he kept repeating himself on the way out.

"I'll catch up to you in a bit Rob!"

Dave stayed behind for a moment to talk to Mike about what just happened, or so Rob imagined. He got in an elevator with the singer who kept apologizing while he wept inconsolably. Rob waited for the doors to slide closed and grabbed Chester's face with both hands. He wiped away his tears with both thumbs and tilted his head up to meet his dad gaze.

"Ches, look at me. You haven't done anything wrong. Please stop apologizing."

Chester 's eyes looked like glass, he frowned and sniffed looking at Rob's chest. Rob felt him tremble and instinctively pulled him to a comforting embrace. He rubbed his back in silence until a ding announced their arrival at the lobby. They both got out of the elevator and sat on a metal bench by the receptionist's desk. He sat by Chester, once again cupping his face with his two giant hands. He gently wiped under the singer's eyes with his thumbs, drying the remnants of countless salty tears. He looked at Chester 's beautiful face as he held it and suddenly felt the need to press his lips to the singer's, but fought the innate urge to do so. Instead he curled his lips inward and bit his own mouth shut. Rob took a deep breath in and went to fetch a water bottle for the blonde.

"Stay here, I'm gonna get you some water...ok?"

Chester's slow nod was his cue to leave. As the drummer walked to a near by vending machine, his mind was shattered into a million thoughts. Why was Mike such a workaholic duchebag? I just want to break his face. Everything was going through his head. His sexuality, being the main thing. The thought of kissing Chester consumed and confused him. It was an urge he knew he had control over, but that he he didn't want to have to control forever. He dug in his pockets for change, and pulled out a few quarters. His shaky hands spilled a couple on the floor, earning him a few looks from a couple of people around him. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and put the coins through the slots, pushed a button and waited for his drink. He snatched the beverage and made his way back to the blonde.  
When he got back to the metal bench he saw Dave softly patting Chester's back. He talked in a soft voice and the blonde just nodded. Rob knelt in front of the singer and put the water bottle in front of his face.

"Here, take a few sips. You need it."

Chester flashed his chocolate brown eyes at him, and pouted before taking the water bottle. He took a small sip from it but missed a little drop that slid down his chin. Rob then gently wiped the drop away with his thumb.

"Thank you Robbie."

Dave raised an eyebrow at the pet name and smirked at the drummer. Rob responded by rolling his eyes and chose to take attention away from himself, bringing back some of it to the Mike issue instead.

"So, should I call a cab or is that duchebag driving is all back home?"

Dave opened his mouth to speak, but Rob glared at Mike who was already leaving the elevator, and walking towards them. He seemed upset but Rob didn't care. He walked closer to Mike with his chest puffed out, ready to face anything the e!see threw at him. He stared down at Mike who took his car keys and jingled them in front of Rob in a taunting maner.

" ready to go home?"

The emcee grinned then walked out of the building waiting for the rest to follow. Rob helped Chester to his feet and held him Close, as they all headed to the emcee 's car. Once inside it was all deja vu to Rob's delight. Chester fell asleep on him again, only this time he snuggled closer than before. You're safe now Ches. You'll always be safe around me. You look so peaceful when you sleep. He looked at the singer's tired face an smiled. Rob stroked his cheek all the way home. Every now and then he'd catch Dave glancing at them out of the corner of his eye. Mike talked, about himself mostly. The drummer tuned him out when he began to refer to Chester as his "trophy" and how he would take them far. He really hated when Mike talked about him as if he were an object. He's a person you douche! Rob held Chester close enjoying the gentle contact.  
Mike's car eventually came to a halt and he exited his vehicle in silence. Dave grabbed his bass and removed his seatbelt. He turned back to look at Rob who gently shook Chaz, then whispered something in his ear. The redhead smiled at the tender way Rob delt with Chester. They both looked so sweet together. He didn't know Rob could be so gentle.

"Are you sure you don't have a thing for him?"

Dave whispered with a large grin plastered on his face, causing Rob to chuckle and shake his head.

"Just because I'm nice to someone doesn't mean I have a thing for them."

Dave laughed incredulously and got out of his seat holding his instrument.

"Do you need help with Chaz?"

The red head nodded towards the still sleeping blonde in the back of the car. Rob shook his head the turned to whisper. 

"No it's fine...I got this. You go ahead ."

Dave nodded and ran inside, leaving Chaz and Rob alone. Rob waited a few seconds before putting a large hand on the singer's shoulder

" Ches...hey...wake up... " 

Rob shook him a few more times until his eyes slowly opened up. The drummer helped him out of the car and led the way to The front door. He walked slowly and held the blonde's arm so that his band mate wouldn't stumble. Rob walked him all the way to his room and even help him sit on his matress. Chester looked up half asleep and smiled. Rob stared at him in wonder then looked around the room quietly. The life like silicone penis that peeked through some blankets on the bed caught his eye, and he suddenly brought his stare back to Chester 's face. He felt heat rush to his cheeks then remembered the sight of Mike kissing and sucking on Chester's neck.

"Ches, can I ask you something?"

Rob shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, contemplating. The blonde got comfortable and sat crosslegged on his matress. He fluffed a pillow and clutched it as if it were a stuffed animal.

" anything Robbie, shoot. "

The gentle giant searched for the right words, nervously petting his goatee with one hand.

"Um...why were you and Mike making out earlier? Did he hurt you? 

The singer shifted uncomfortably and tightened his grip on the pillow never raising his stare from it. He remembered how gross he felt after Mike touched him. The slimy warmth of Mike's lips on his neck, and the fear of forcefully having another man inside of him again. He subconsciously hugged his pillow for protection.

"No. He hasn't hurt me since the night we got signed...that. That was my idea. "

Rob looked at him perplexed by his answer. This didn't make sense. Why would he want Mike, of all people to touch him like that?

"But, aren't you married...to a woman with a baby?"

Chester 's eyes bounced around searching for a believable answer. He couldn't tell Rob the truth of what really happened. It would ruin everything they had worked for. He would destroy everyone's success. He could tell him half the truth, and it probably wouldn't even be that big of a deal. He found the strength to look at his gentle giant in the eye. He could feel his heart thumping faster, and harder.

" Y..yeah. I just...I...I think I'm gay"  
  
Rob looked at him in surprise. A part of him felt a sudden rush of joy. There's hope... He looked at the beautiful blonde before him, elated by his response

"Are you serious?"

Rob asked, trying his best not to seem happy, but simply calm about the singer's confession. He could tell Chester was blushing as he looked down at his pillow.

" ...yes. "

The drummer nodded with his hands, still deep in his pockets.

" Oh... I didn't know you were...experimenting? I just thought Mike had hurt you again."

Chester smiled at Rob's caring nature, holding a stare for the first time that night. Rob's such a sweetheart. Who knew?

"No. He didn't hurt me, I'm okay Robbie. Really. I'm not hurt. "

The blonde got up from his bed and walked to his gentle giant. He stepped directly in front of him so that his nose was touching the space between Rob's pecs. Chester tilted his head up and snaked his long skinny arms around the drumer's broad waist. He then pressed his cheek against the giant's body and squeezed him affectionately. Rob looked down, and hugged his band mate back with a smile. He rubbed his back then pat his blonde locks.

"Your secret is safe with me, but there's nothing wrong with being gay Ches. Don't feel ashamed."

Chester nodded and slowly loosened his grip. Rob smiled and looked away rubbing the back of his head with one hand. They shared silence until Rob found his way to the door, and grabbed the know bringing the door with him to shut it.

"Night Ches."

" Night Robbie. " 

Chester walked to the door and locked it immediately after the drummer left his room. He didn't want any of the guys to open his door, and witness what he was about to do. He curled his lower lip and bit it. Closing his eyes he ran his thin hands all over his body, starting with his nipples. He rolled his tiny buds back and forward between his thumb and middle finger, picturing Chris' plump lips on them. A few minutes later after toying with his delicate nipples he began to strip down to his banana hammock. His hands traveled up and down his thin pale torso, giving himself goosebumps. He could feel a familiar stir in his groin as he got closer to the bag of sex supplies Mike had gotten for him. He reached for it then hesitated. Was he ready to do something like this? What if it hurts...like when he did it? Or worse...what if I like it? His desire teased him, finally convincing him to reach for the large eight inch dildo in the bag

Chester looked at the dildo with fear, yet curiosity. The thing looked massive in his thin boyish hands. He gulped loudly at the uncany resemblance to a real penis. It was soft like skin when squeezed, but firm like rubber when He squeezed in. He blushed as he got it closer to inspect it, tracing the veins that went up and down the shaft. He giggled wondering what Chris' penis looked like. The blonde closed his eyes and imagined Chris' member deep in his mouth. The memory of his perfect, tanned, chiseled abs caused a tingling warmth all over his body. Chester whimpered realizing he still had underwear on, so He hooked his thumbs on the hem and pushed them down setting his manhood free.  
He looked down at it, watching it jiggle as it began to spring into action. A smile spread across his face as he closed his eyes remembering Chris' emerald green eyes, his well groomed goatee. Mmm his voice...Mmm fuck, His high ass under those jeans. The singer's mouth watered preparing himself to put the dildo against his lips then slowly pushed the phallic object past them. Chester got to his knees on his mattress to better imagine the fictitious act. I wish Chris was here, naked, touching me.  
He immediately began to deep throat the silicone cock leaving thick strands of saliva on it. I would love to have his cock in my mouth mmm.Chester felt his own member harden and become slick with precum. With his eyes still closed, he began to slowly rub the tip of his penis with his thumb right above his pee slit, then gave himself slow firm stokes. He continued to do this for a few more minutes, spreading his own gooey precum all over his rock hard shaft. He imagined Chris' thick cock in his mouth and slurped loudly at the thought of him being a little rough, then pulled the dildo out of his mouth. He used his other hand to keep teasing himself, finally giving his fuzzy ball sack a gentle squeeze. By this time, his member had oozed so much precum he left a small pool of goop on the blanket below him. Oh God, why does this turn me on so much? This is so wrong.  
He trembled with anticipation as he realized what his body craved next. His rectum ached for attention. He searched through the bag that contained the rest of the sex tools, and pulled out a condom and the bottle of lube. Chester's imagination ran wild while he slid on a condom over the dildo. I can't believe I'm going to do this.He wiped a bit of drool off the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Then spread a generous amount of poppi'n cherry lube all over the sex toy. The artificial candy scent hit his nose and he kicked his lips. He took a deep breath prepared himself by getting on all fours on the mattress. Chester was excited but afraid of what he was about to do next. He'd never touched himself to the thought of a man before, especially not by putting a toy in such a sensitive area. The nerves began to set in making him shiver. I hope this doesn't hurt that bad. With one hand he rubbed the well lubed phallic object against his tight pink pucker. He teased himself slowly, spreading the cherry scented lube like jam on toast.  
Then held his breath as he put a little pressure against his rectum. Suddenly, when he least expected it the tip of the fake cock went past his tight ring, making him flinch. Oh fuck...that hurt, but it...feels...good? I can't stop. He began to pant closing his eyes letting his mind wonder wildly into an "X" rated territory. He pictured Chris bending him over, and pounding into his ass with inhumane brutal force. He didn't understand why, but he just wanted his hero to tear him apart, and use him. He yearned for the wild driver's rough hands on him. While he imagined the animalistic act he probed himself a little deeper, moaning as he did so. His breath quickened as he pushed the dildo further inside imagining the countless lewd things he wanted done to him. Mmm yeah I want it to hurt...fuck. There was a warm sensation in his ass and on the slick tip of his cock.  
Chester grabbed a pillow and bit the corner, bracing himself to take more of the toy inside. He grunted screaming into his pillow as he pushed the cock deeper. This hurts so fucking good! just...a...little...more. He forced the toy all the way in, and shivered with pleasure at the delightful pain that spread throughout his body. Once the life like cock was balls deep inside he began to stroke himself more furiously. I really wish Chris would just do this to me....ahhh...mmm fuck. Wet sounds, moans, and grunts echoed throughout his room as he continued to touch himself. He felt a familiar painful tickle at the pit of his stomach, and quickened the stokes on his throbbing cock. Chester imagined Chris behind him pounding his ass mercilessly and he whimpered. He didn't know what to do anymore, the need for his release was driving him crazy. He could either glide the toy in and out of himself, or give his penis his undivided attention. He thought about it for a minute and shook his head to himself no, I want it in my ass.  
Chester squeezed his eyes shut, and continued to bite his pillow as he began to push and pull the toy in out of himself. He inhaled sharply getting closer and closer to his orgasm. His breathing along with his grunts became louder and louder. Oh..Chris

"Oh Chrisssss..." 

He moaned as he reached his finale, brutally impailing himself with the vulgar toy. Shudders coursed through his body, while his cock shot his milky white seed all over his blanket. Chester was damp with sweat and out of breath. He whimpered, collapsing on his bed. He thought about what he had done, and coyly removed the toy from his ass. What the he'll was that? I...think I really am gay. I've never felt this good. His eyes felt heavy as the realization of his sexuality lingered in him. Still riding the waves of his orgasm but also frightened, he pulled the soiled blanket up to his chin and fell asleep.


	9. Pocket full of Chazzy

Chester ran his hands through his hair creating more suds. A hot shower and time alone is just what he needed after sleeping on his own cum. He closed his eyes letting the warmth of the water cascade down his slim body. Ribbons of soft suds washed away the sweat and grime from the day before. He sighed happily turning the shower off and reached for his towel. Thoughts of his sexuality teased him and he chuckled remembering the wild things he touched himself to. Chester thought about giving Chris a call and perhaps telling him about his new discovery. Would he still want to hang around with me? He wrapped the towel around his waist and quickly opened the door, poking his head out. A few seconds passed and he knew the coast was clear. The blonde swiftly too tied to his room and locked the door behind him.  
He thought he had reached sanctuary, but was proven wrong when he turned and saw Mike casually sitting on his bed. He held the dildo up, still wrapped in the condom from the previous night, and he smiled maliciously at the blonde.

"So, I see you've prepped yourself. Yummy."

Chester pulled his shoulders up to his ears and began to shake. His lips formed a frown while he began to fear for the worst. Mike licked his lips and brought the soiled sex toy up to his nose to sniff it a couple of times. The emcee peeled the dirty condom off the toy and tucked it into his pant pocket. His cold stare burning a hole right through the singer, who was in tears at this point.

" you smell as good on the inside as you do on the outside. "

Mike continued to smell the toy, while he stroked the growing bulge in his pants with his free hand. He then glanced suggestively at the singer who just stood there shaking.

"Let me see you Chazzy, take that towel off." 

The emcee gave the dildo one loud sniff before tossing it to the side. He got up and slowly made his way to the singer. Chester glanced down and whimpered at the sight of a fully clothed, but fully erect Mike. He could see the outline of a large member under his cargo pants, and began to hyperventilate. Mike then held him in a sexually charged hug and removed his towel for him. Chester trembled and sobbed knowing what was about to happen. Please no, not again. No.   
The emcee unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his fly, finaly freeing his his erection. The emcee then dragged his tongue up Chester's neck until he reached his lips. He pushed his tongue past the singer's thin lips, tasting his saliva. Mike moaned softly at the sweet taste. Chester whimpered feeling the emcee's hot member against his. Mike broke the kiss to gently push the blonde on to the mattress. He then crawled into bed and layed on top of Chester,so that their penises were rubbing against each other. Oh no it's going to happen again.

" No...Mike, please don't do this"

Chester cried trembling and curling his toes. He felt vulnerable and helpless under the emcee's weight. Then he felt powerless when Mike began to stroke both of their cocks together. He felt the emcee's breath on his neck, his thick wire like pubic hair, and his viscous precum currently being smeared on him. He squeezed his eyes shut feeling his body betray him. His member began to grow from the stimulation. No. No why is this happening. I don't like this. No.

"Do you like that baby? Hmm? Does that feel good?"

Chester only responded with a whimper, and a grunt while the emcee ran his hands over his tiny nipples and have them both a pinch. His lips searched for Chester's and he kissed him deeply, swallowing his cries for help. Mike's curious hands wondered around and below the blonde's waist. He squeezed one of his small but firm cheeks then parted it to the side, while a single digit searched for the distinguishable warmth of his pucker. When he found it he continued to kiss the blonde enjoying the resistance, both from the Chester and his very tight rectum. He gently rubbed the tight wrinkled ring that pulsed while he did so. Teasing, nearly probing it.

"Just relax, baby. Enjoy my touch."

Chester kept his arms close against his sides. Frozen with fear,while Mike explored his lithe body. The emcee licked his lips and simultaneously pushed the tip of his middle finger inside the blonde beauty under him. The singer struggled beneath him trying to pull away from the emcee's long finger, spilling a few hot tears.

" Don't...r...r...rape me m..m..Mike. Please. Please don't. "

Chester wept finally resigning and accepting what Mike was about to do. The emcee probed him quickly, all the way. Once inside he wiggled his finger and pumped it in and out a few times, making Chester squirm. Then removed his finger from his tight raw hole and continued to kiss him along his neck.

"Oh baby. I'm not going to rape you, I just want to make love to that georgus body of yours. Isn't that what couples do?"

Mike stopped kissing him but continued to grind his cock on Chester's, continuously smearing his juices all over his pubic area. He searched for the singer's gaze but Chester looked for a distraction around the room instead. He squeezed his eyes shut wanting to disappear. He couldn't believe this was happening to him again. It was vile and disgusting. Why is he doing this to me?

" We're...not.a..couple. " 

Chester cried finally meeting Mike's eyes. The emcee then pushed the tip of his penis along the singer's hot rectum. He gyrated his hips and teased the shivering blonde. The emcee's thick precum lubricated Chester's pink, pulsating, pucker.

" just give us a chance Chazzy. I can be so good to you. Please baby? "

Mike cupped the young blonde's cheeks and gave him a passionate kiss. The emcee kissed along his jaw line, then traveled down to his neck. Finally making a stop at Chester's tiny perky nipples. He flicked his tongue over them and gave each one a powerful suck. Mike wanted to make sure he left a mark to wean away other potential partners. In his mind, Chester was his. The singer cried from the tingling pain then stopped shaking enough to speak up.

"No Mike...please s...s..stop. I'm s...s..scared."

Chester gave Mike a pleading look. He continued to hyperventilate but his cries became louder. He was an emotional mess. The emcee cupped his cheek and finally stopped grinding his bottom half on the horrified singer.

" Hey, don't cry baby. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to love you."

He pressed his wet lips on Chester's cheek, then reached down to put his erection back in his pants. Mike straightened himself, finally zipping his fly closed. The singer rolled over into a fetal position and sobbed into his palms. The emcee quietly observed his band mate then sat next to him on the bed, putting a hand on Chester's pale thigh.

"I can slow down. Be my boyfriend Chazzy, please. I can give you so much pleasure."

Chester shook his head side to side and continued to sob. He was shaken up, but relieved that the emcee hadn't actually hurt him. So far he had kept his promise. Mike hadn't beat him for almost a whole week now. He hadn't called him names or starved him like before. Now, he was...trying to date him? What the fuck...?  
He removed his palms from his face and gave the emcee a confused but still terrified look. The emcee waited for the blonde to speak up, with his hands on his lap. Mike curled his lower lip inward and stared at the floor boards solemnly. He suddenly didn't look so threatening anymore, and for a second Chester pitied him.

"Chaz, I'm sorry I hurt you before. I saw potential in you. I just wanted the best for the band but, maybe I was too rough. I've always really liked you. I love you Chazzy Chaz." 

The emcee leaned over to the blonde and got on all fours. He crawled over to him and have him a soft kiss on his thin lips. Just when Chester lowered his guard Mike squeezed his hip bone wantonly and whispered in his ear.

"One day, you'll be mine Chazzy. One day, you'll say yes. One day you'll want me just as much as I want you."

Chester slowly sat up and pulled himself into a ball. The waterworks were about to start again when Mike got to his feet. He made his way to the pile of clothes Chester had worn before and picked through it. Chester protected himself with his blanket and watched in horror as the emcee picked up his banana hammock, and waded it into a bunch. He licked his lips and flashed a perverted smile then held his soiled banana hammock under his nose. Chester looked away, disturbed and felt the need to throw up. Mike rubbed the banana hammock over his bulge then tucked it in his pant pocket. The same pocket He had tucked the used condom in. He walked up to Chester who sat on the bed horrified and pinched his cheek.

" see you around baby. "

Chester bottled everything up until Mike left, then broke down. He didn't feel safe in his room anymore, not even a locked door could keep that monster out. He was on edge and needed to get away, even if it was just for a few hours. Unfortunately he couldn't do that Just yet. He still needed to head to the studio today with the guys. He emptied one the bags of clothes over his mattress and pulled out black cargo pants and a plain black muscle shirt. Chester went through the usual motions of getting ready for the day, but hesitated when he reached for another banana hammock. His mind tortured him, playing the scene of Mike sniffing his underwear over and over again. His stomach turned and he decided to skip underwear for today. He styled his hair like he usually did and placed his thick square glasses on his face, finally bringing his look together with an oversized black hoodie.  
Chester stepped out of his room and heard the guys rummaging through the kitchen and laughing. He entered the living room quietly until Joe's loud voice made him recoil.

"Hey Chaz!!! You want some lucky charms? 

He turned to see Joe's jolly face as he shook the box of cereal above his head. Chester nodded and gave Joe a sheepish look. He plopped down on the living room and saw the rest of the guys eating out of containers, laughing, and taking pop tarts out of the toaster. All the things Mike did and played over and over in his head making him gag. Everything from his dark, hairy, moist member to what he last said to him ran through his head. Joe's weight on the couch shattered the painful memories causing Chester to glance up at him. Joe had a wide smile and was pushing a small bowl of lucky charms in front of him.

" you ready to record today bud?

Chester frowned and brought a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. Meanwhile Joe dunked a pop tart into his own bowl of cereal and shoved it in his mouth chewing loudly.

"So...did you guys finish the vocals for that track last night?"

Joe spoke in between chews with his mouth half full. Chester shook his head quietly, keeping his eyes on the marshmallows in his bowl. He dreaded going over to that place to be locked in a tiny vocal booth all day. Joe nodded then grabbed some powdered donuts from a hostess bag on the coffee table. He put his chubby fingers through the tiny holes, then presented his hand to the singer with a grin.

"Look at all my cool rings Chaz. I'm trying to get used to wearing donuts for rings. You know why?"

Chester gave the dj's hand an apathetic look and shook his head.

"N..no why?"

Joe stuffed one of the mini donuts into his mouth and licked the powdered sugar off his lips while he chewed.

"because by the end of this album we're gonna to have so much dough we're not even gonna know what to do with it."

Joe busted out laughing at his own joke and snorted. He nudged Chester finally melting the icy look on his face, causing the blonde to laugh as well. He held his stomach as he laughed flashing his gorgeous smile. Rob was coming to the couch when he caught Chester's contagious laughter. He looks so cute when he laughs. Rob chuckled and plopped next to Joe and sat his plate on the coffee table.

"You're a dork..."

Rob glanced at the sugary mess on the table and stuck his tongue out, fake gagging.

" Yuck, Are you feeding Ches a bunch of sugar?"

Joe ate another donut and nodded taking another one out of the Hostess bag.

"I just poured him a bowl of lucky charms. What's the big deal?"

Rob looked at Chester's thin face and the dark spots under his eyes. He looked tired and seemed a little jittery.

" Well, he needs to have a balanced meal. Otherwise he'll be exhausted within the hour. "

The drummer turned to explain his point to Joe who sucked the remains of the donut off his fingers. Joe responded by shrugging at the loss for words. Rob then stabbed piece off of his scrambled eggs and scooted closer to Chester. He touched the blonde's lips with the fork and Chester opened his mouth, snatching the food. Rob smiled as he watched the blonde swallow. Joe raised a brow at the drummer, who was currently treating their lead singer like a baby bird.

"Do you like it Ches? I can make more."

Chester shook his head stuffing his hands into the pockets of his well worn hoodie. The drummer inspected the singer's choice of wardrobe for the day and furrowed his eyebrows. He wondered if the frontman was getting sick for the fifth time since they moved there. Chester swallowed and looked up at Rob.

"Nah it's okay Robbie. I'm not too hungry this morning. It's delicious though. "

Rob wiped The corner of The singer's mouth with his thumb and looked at his lips. The singer smiled, earning a confused look from Joe. Robbie? What the hell?. The d.j gave Rob a side eyed look and noticed the drummer's eyes twinkle. He bit a piece of his tenth powdered donut and saw a pink tinge spread throughout Rob's cheeks, followed by... his Casanova smile? Joe had only seen that smile on Rob when he liked someone. He'd known him long enough to know when he was turning up his charm for somebody. Usually, a woman. This was extremely out of character for Rob. Quiet, shy, heart of stone Rob was smiling and feeding another man? What did I miss?


	10. Dirty Banana

Jim nodded his head along with the beat of the track that was playing. He wrote something on a note book, and smiled at Chester who sat next to him in silence. The band had been at the studio for six hours, recording new material for their debut album. Each member recorded their parts separately, so that at the end Mike and Joe would mesh everything together creating a new track. The last person to check the tracks was Jim, the band's manager. He would approve, deny, or give advice for the finishing touches on a track. They were far from finished, and currently Jim was giving feedback on vocals to the singer.   
The track faded out into silence and Jim clapped, his white beard lined his smile.

"This is very good Chester. I'm amazed. Dave wasn't kidding when he said you could sing."

Chester nodded with a straight face and thanked Jim, who was now stroking his white beard while in thought. He wrote something in his notebook and counted something out loud. The singer who looked far from feeling cheerful, sat there playing with his hands.

"Chester. Honestly. How are you feeling right now? I'm sensing something."

Jim pierced him with his sky blue eyes folding his arms over his chest and waited. Chester glanced up and his mind replayed everything that had happened to him that morning. It had been a long time since he felt that way. The same way he felt when he was first raped all those years ago. He felt so many things all at once. Disgust, fear, shame, guilt, it was all too much to process and it left him numb. He'd never thought he would feel this way again. Not in his worst of nightmares. Yet there he was. Feeling that way, all over again.The singer fought back a whimper and he began to explain himself.

"I...I'm just not having a good day. It's just that..."

Jim clapped once loudly, startling and interrupting Chester then pointed at him.

" There it is son. Wherever it is that is bothering you. Wherever it is that you are feeling, I want you to write it down and turn it into a song. "

Chester nodded quietly ,and looked through his manager who went on about how the most depressed artists make the best art. Chester tuned out and realized for the second time in his life that he was never going to be able to confess what was happening to him to anyone. The guys wouldn't believe him. No one would believe him. Everyone was just a bystander. Jim didn't even listen, but he was already telling him to use his pain as a catalyst for a song. He had to cary this disgusting truth all alone, and it hurt. He swallowed sadness and just nodded yes to whatever Jim as going on about.

"So write that song tonight. Process all those emotions and turn them into a cool hip song that youngsters can relate to. I believe in you kid."

Jim flashed a smile at Chester who forced himself to form a broken one back. Him continued to talk while he gathered his notebook and set the headphones down by the soundboard. The singer looked down at his hands again solemnly, then glanced up at the muffled sound of Mike's laughter. He watched through the plexiglass of the studio and witnessed Mike and Jim laughing together. The rest of the guys smiled and nodded their heads at Mike who was the centre of attention. With one final chuckle and a handshake from the guys, Jim waved goodbye at his super stars to be. Chester looked back down at his hands and thought about Chris _I'll call him when I get out of here._ His mind wondered so far away to some dark corner, he didn't realize Mike was suddenly sitting in front of him.   
The emcee sat across from him peeling a banana. He spread his legs wide and rubbed his groin, finally receiving a panicked glance from the singer. Mike's tongue took a casual trip around his lips before he spoke.

"So, Jim loves you. He says you're the most talented singer he's heard in a while. Did he tell you the news?"

Chester glanced up at Mike who still hadn't taken a bite out of his banana, and gave a clueless shrug.

"tell me what?"

The blonde noticed the emcee roll his office chair closer to him. He shifted around , still not taking a bite of his banana. Something about this made Chester panic. _What the fuck is he doing now?_

_"_ Jim wants a new song from you by the end of the week. I can help...inspire you."

Mike got closer causing Chester to cower in fear. The singer felt his skin crawl the closer the emcee got, and shut his eyes closed. His gut told him to run but he was unable to, as he was petrified. As his breathing quickened he took in the scent of banana under his nose, then felt the tip of the fruit on his lips.

"You want some? Rob told me that fatso just gave you junk this morning?"

Chester slowly opened his eyes with relief, and saw the harmless yellow fruit in front of his face. His breathing slowed down and he parted his thin lips accepting Mike's offer. Right when he was about to bite he heard Mike in a sensual hush tone.

"Don't bite it just yet Chazzy. Give it a little suck...right on the tip."

Chester trembled feeling foolish, for believing that this wasn't going to be an act of Mike's depravity. He obeyed and gave the tropical fruit the smallest of sucks to appease the pervert. Then tried to nibble on the fruit, but was stopped by the emcee's seducing voice again.

"No baby, don't bite it just yet. Take it all the way in. Can you deep throat?"

The blonde remained still and awkwardly kept his mouth open, while the emcee pushed the banana in deeper. Chester felt like he was going to be sick, but was thankful that it was a banana in his mouth and not Mike. He was calm until the emcee went past his uvula and he began to gag. His eyes instinctively welled up with tears while he choked on the tropical fruit. Mike hummed rubbing the growing bulge in his pants ;imagining himself doing repulsive things to Chester. He chewed his lower lip pushing and pulling the banana in and out of the blonde's mouth.

"Fuck Chazzy, you would look so good with my cock in your mouth. Suck it baby."

Chester obeyed fearing a punch or some sort of punishment from Mike if he didn't, and deep throated the banana. He once again swallowed the fruit past his uvula, earning a moan from the emcee. He let his tears flow freely, noticing Mike's erection twitch under his baggy jeans. The emcee grunted taking the banana most of the way out, and bit his lower lip closing his eyes. He looked as if he was trying not to cream his pants right then and there.

"Ok Chazzy Chaz...you can take a bite now. Whoa that got me going baby. Fuck you're so hot."

The singer took a bite, chewed, and swallowed the chunk of fruit he bit off. He remained quiet and uncomfortable while Mike continued to feed him. They shared a long unbearable silence that the emcee shattered with his sexual hum.

"Jim said we could all call it a day, unless...you want to stay here with me...and work on that song? What do you say baby?"

Chester shook his head and picked up a messenger bag by the soundboard. He quickly headed for the door but then felt Mike's hand on his shoulder.

"Be a good boy and get to writing that song."

The emcee gave one of the blonde's butt cheeks a very firm squeeze making him yelp.

"Owww!

Chester turned to give the smiling emcee a glare and walked out needing to rub the sore spot on his cheek. He put the hood of his hoodie over his head then draped the messenger bag over his shoulder. He had enough of Mike's harassment for today. _I just want to run away, and never say goodbye. Fuck this!_ He stormed past the guys avoiding any contact with them. He tried his best to vanish out of the studio while they all followed him with their eyes. The singer could feel their stare on him and heard the door to the studio open again followed by the sound of jogging behind him. He shut his eyes closed and feeling a heaviness in his stomach, and walked faster racing to the elevator. Chester jogged and entered his sanctuary then took a quick glance behind him. The doors slid close right after he caught a glimpse of Rob who seemed out of breath.  
He held his messenger bag close and backed into the wall of the elevator. Keeping his gaze low he tried his best to seem invisible to the man in a blue suit, who stood on the opposite side of the elevator. _If I don't look at him, He won't talk to me, He won't touch me...He won't grope me. I'm not here. I'm no one. He won't see me._ He could feel his body perspiring under his thick hoodie, but he couldn't remove it now. He couldn't afford being seen right now. The elevator dinged making him jump and caused the man in the suit to give him a bewildering look. Chester shuffled out of the elevator and scurried across the lobby in full panic mode, then heard Rob behind him shouting.

"Ches! Ches wait!"

Chester froze swallowing back whimpers, tears, sobs, screams. He shivered overwhelmed by the storm that ran havoc within him. He tried his best to breathe normally glancing up at the tall drummer who stood before him.

" whoa you're fast."

Rob stated still catching his breath from the previous jog. He got closer to the singer, and leaned down slowly to get a better look at his face.

"What's the matter Ches? Oh my, Are you...are you crying?"

The drummer gently held Chester by the shoulders analyzing his face. Finally noticing the singer's twitching lips.He looked like was about to break down but was holding back like a dam. Rob noticed his knuckles turning white on the strap of his messenger bag.

" No..no Robbie. I'm okay. I gotta go. "

Rob wasn't buying it for a minute. Chester looked like something was very wrong. He was clearly not himself. He'd never seen him this way before, and it concerned him. The blonde pulled away from his grip and started to walk away from him again, but Rob held him from his frail shoulders again.

"Ches wait. No, please tell me what's going on. What's wrong?  
" is it...is...it Mike? What did that douchebag do now!?"

The drummer noticed Chester's lips tug down at the mention of Mike. He searched for the singer's lovely chocolate brown eyes, but the blonde didn't even look up like he usually did. They remained lost, hidden away from his gentle giant.

" No. Please stop Robbie. Please...I just need to, be alone."

Chester simply stated. Oddly, he suddenly seemed emotionless compared to how worked up he seemed a few seconds ago. Something about him seemed vacant. The way he stared down at his feet reminded Rob of a cold dead fish. _What's wrong with him? What did Mike do now?_

"Say no more. If that is what you need right now, and that will make you feel better. I'll leave you alone. Just... be careful Ches" _I... love you?_

The blonde nodded desolately and waved goodbye lazily then turned away. Rob watched him disappear into the multitude of people outside the building, and felt his heart become heavy. He stared at the people who passed by in every direction, mixing the melting pot of themselves even more. Wherever Chester was going, He just hoped he would be ok.

Chester walked a block away from the studio, with his eyes glued to the ground. He caught a glimpse of a payphone and quickly approached it. He dug in his pockets retrieving a couple of quarters. Without hesitation he quickly put them through the coin slot and dialed Chris' number. While it rang, He looked over his shoulder and all around trying to stay hidden from everyone. Finally, on the third ring Chris picked up.

"Hello, Cornell residence..."

Chris answered, flipping a sunny side up egg over with a spatula. He smiled realizing he didn't mistakenly brake the yolk.

Chester nearly choked on his own saliva trying to respond. He swallowed back a sob, and tried to keep his composure.

"Hey Chris, it's Chester. Are you...are you busy?

He asked, cradeling the receiver with both hands as if it were Chris himself. At the other end of the line Chris was beaming, and scooped his egg onto a plate with crispy bacon.

" Not at all kid. What's up? "

Chris picked a slice of brioche bread and dropped it into the toaster, then pulled the little lever down. Chester swallowed hard looking down. He forced himself to speak. His words trembled as they left him.

"I...I need to talk to you...I..need..."

Chris furrowed his brows ,and held the receiver closer trying to get a better listen. He paced in his kitchen and heard Chester sniffing at the other end of the line. He sounded like he was about to cry.

"Alright kid, um...where are you? Are you home?"

Chris stormed out of the kitchen ,and snatched his car keys from a bowl that was on a stand by his front door. He listened for the address of his friend's location and nodded.

"Yeah. I know where that is kid. Stay put. I'll be there in ten."

He clicked a button on the phone hanging up, then sat it down on the table. He got a pack of Camels from the same bowl that contained his keys, along with a lighter and headed out as fast as he could.


	11. La vie en ROSÉ

Chris exhaled in relief at the sight of a thin familiar form clad in black. Chester stood out from the sea of people who walked in haste around the city, so he wasn't hard to spot. Chris sped then slammed on the brakes once he reached the figure, who stood still hunched over on the side walk. He peeked out and saw him wiping his eyes.

"Hey kid, get in."

Chester swung the door opened and climbed in avoiding Chris' stare. The driver waited for about fifteen seconds before stepping on the gas pedal. They drove in silence throughout the city and the countless cars. At every stop light Chris turned his head, and examined Chester's boyish face that was only partially visible due to his hoodie being up. He turned his attention back to the road and drummed his thumb in the steering wheel. He tugged on his goatee when he saw the light turn green again, then he heard it. Chester crumbling on the passenger 's side. He pressed his palms to his face, hunched down, and began to sob. Chris took a quick peek at him as he entered the highway; giving the blonde a worried stare he cleared his throat.

"What's wrong kid? What happened?

Chris glanced at boy next to him and shook his head. _My God, what the fuck happened? It can't be this bad, but then again he didn't even cry this much when I saw that Asian kid beat him up. Shit, I gotta get home quick._ Chester trembled, hugging himself while he sobbed violently.

" I...I have three...three... things... to to....tell you"

There were droplets of water dripping down from his nose while he spoke in between sobs. Chris nodded, and listened carefully with his eyes still on the road.

" Ok...What's the matter? "

_Shit, he finally snapped and killed someone. He's gonna want me to help him get rid of the body. Or maybe those thugs from last time found him again. Fuck!_ Chris began to feel impatient, and snatched a cigarette from the camel's box between his legs. He went through the usual motions, and nervously began to smoke after lighting it. He took a long drag, hoping the nicotine would settle him down. Chester finally looked up at Chris and the driver caught his glance. Chester's eyes looked like two drops of ink, and his long straight lashes were soaked with tears. He rubbed his nose clearing his throat, before casting his espresso colored eyes back down.

"I...I'm...I'm..I'm gay."

Chester held his breath bracing himself for Chris to slam on the breaks. Or for any sign of disapproval from his soon to be ex friend. Instead he heard the driver chuckle.

" Fuck! You scared me there Chester. I thought you were going to tell me you killed someone, or some shit like that. "

Chris chucked again this time slapping his leg with relief. The blonde gave him a puzzled look and swallowed letting out the breath he'd been holding.

"You mean...you mean...you're not mad...or grossed out?"

The blonde stared at the driver surprised by his underwhelmed reaction. Chris turned his head and furrowed his brows in confusion, then took another drag from his cigarette.

"What? No. Of course not. I'm honestly not even surprised kid."

Chris kept his eyes on the road and smiled at the young boy's confession . Chester opened his mouth trying to gather his thoughts then laughed cynically.

"What is that supposed to mean? What about me...looks gay?"

The older man laughed then finally flicked the cigarette out the window. He turned his head to glance at the baffled blonde then laughed some more. He took the wheel of the car with one hand and used his other to comb through his goatee.

"You...ordered an appletini at a shot bar...no offense, but um...that's pretty gay."

Both men laughed hysterically to the point where Chris had small years rolling out of the corners of his eyes. He wiped them after his laughter had died down to just chuckles. Chester smiled through the tears and sadness from earlier and soon realized they had arrived at Chris' house. The driver turned the key of his car and the engine off, with it. He remained in the car and turned to smile at his passenger, offering his hand to him. The blonde smiled back and placed his hand in Chris'.

"You mean, you can tell whose straight and who isn't based on their choice of drink?"

Chester asked curiously looking into Chris' dozy eyes. Chris saw through the blonde's broken smile and could see the hurt behind his chocolate colored eyes. He studied him silently, then spoke up when he realized the boy was beginning to feel uneasy again.

" Chester, you haven't told me why you were crying when you called. It's not because you're gay, is it? "

The blonde looked down at his lap, in shame. Sudenly the memories of Mike molesting him hit him like a speeding train. He shuddered remembering how the emcee's finger wiggled inside of him. The smell of Mike's musk on his body, and how it tainted him. His slober all over his neck and nipples. _I feel so gross. I just want to hide from myself from everyone._

 _"_ Chester? "

Chris squeezed his hand bringing him back to the present. The blonde turned to meet his gaze.

"No. It's not because I'm gay. It's uh...It's Mike. He... He..."

Chris turned his face into an angry scowl , still holding Chester's hand.

" That son of a bitch, picks on you for being gay? "

The driver sucked on his teeth and nodded looking straight forward. Chester swallowed and nodded quickly agreeing with Chris. He looked furious. _He doesn't even know the truth and he looks like the night he pulled out that gun. Maybe I shouldn't tell him._ As much as he was hurting, He couldn't let others get hurt because of him. Not even Mike, who had been beating him for months. And now it had escalated to other things. _I'm not worth fighting for._

 _"_ Chester, if I see that little shit stain as much as even look at you the wrong way. I will break his face. I promise. I don't understand. You seem like a good kid, and those other little shit heads don't do anything? "

Chester looked down in shame and shook his head. He thought about Rob, Dave, and if he remembered correctly, even Joe got called fatso behind his back. Mike was just unstoppable. No one was safe from him. No one could do anything to permanently stop him from being an asshole.

"I don't think they can...or...maybe they're scared too"

"I'm sorry this is happening to you kid. You can crash at my place for a couple of days if you need to. If you need privacy or a place to write music, I have a studio here." _I don't want this poor kid going back there. Fuck, He scared me._

Chris let go of his passenger 's hand and rested his wrists on the steering wheel. He let out a long sigh then pulled on the lever on the door to open it.

"Come on Chester, let's go inside...it's hot."

The older man said, glancing at the blonde's hoodie _why the he'll is he wearing that?_. Chester trailed behind him and watched Chris unlock his home. They stepped into the grand foyer and a the boy began to form his lips into a smile. He looked around the vast heavenly space and found it to be just as breathtaking as the first time he saw it. He clutched his messenger bag and followed Chris until they reached the kitchen. Chester toyed with the seam of his messenger bag ,and watched Chris carefully place a plate with eggs and bacon in the microwave. He pushed a button and turned his body to face him. He placed his palms on the granite top of the kitchen island and studied Chester. The kid seemed jittery and insecure. _Poor guy_

"Do you want a drink kid? Or maybe some food? I can grill you up some fish."  
  
Chester snapped his head up but didn't stop toying with his bag. Even from six feet away Chris could see the sudden pink tinge on the boy's hollow cheeks.

"please, make yourself at home. Let me get this for you."

Chris walked towards the blonde and helped him remove his bag. Then gently placed it on the counter top. He glanced at the refrigerator that was filled with booze, then suddenly remembered Chester's distaste for whiskey.

" Look kid, I know you don't like whiskey, but I also have some wine. Is a Rosé okay for you? It's a little sweet."

The blonde looked around cluelesly and shrugged unsure of the drink the older, taller man had just offered. He instinctively began to nibble on his finger nails, catching Chris' curios stare. Chris studied him and made his way to the booze fridge, he began to look through the countless bottles. A crystal clear bottle with a rosy liquid inside made itself known, after clincking against a bottle of Chardonnay. Chris snatched it with a victorious smile. He made his way to a set of drawers by the stove and retrieved a corkscrew from it.  
Chester observed Chris' swift and graceful movements as he opened the bottle. It was precise and effortless, truly entertaining to watch. He could tell He had done this many times. As he filled a wine glass half full with the rosy liquid he caught a glimpse of a warm smile from Chris. The taller man handed him the glass then stood waiting for the blonde's critique .

" Try it. It will take the edge off a little bit. "

Chester obeyed and took a careful sip. Then smiled as his eyes twinkled at Chris.

"It's good...I like it."

Chris smiled at the boy and proceeded to take out a mound of something from the fridge wrapped in white paper. Chester drank more of the sweet poison and licked his thin lips.

"Um...I noticed you didn't have any whiskey in the car this time. "

The blonde approached the island in the kitchen and leaned on it. He drew little circles on the granite top with one long thin finger; while he watched Chris unwrap a couple of salmon fillets. He grabbed a cast iron skillet, oiled it and turned up the heat.

"I was more preoccupied with getting to you as quickly as possible. I didn't know what kind of trouble you were in. "

_He cared more about that than whiskey?_ Chester smiled, feeling a comfortable warmth spread throughout his body. That was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him. His cheeks flushed and he took another sip of his Rosé, swishing it in his mouth. He watched Chris delicately season the salmon with sea salt and pepper. He used his large skilled hands to lightly coat the fillets in olive oil, then he placed them skin side down on the skillet. Chester took another sip of wine then cradled the glass with both hands.

"Thank you, you're...really nice."

Chester chewed his lower Lip to keep himself from smiling too much, and followed Chris with his stare. The older man took the plate with eggs and bacon out of the microwave, and picked up a piece of bacon. He began to tear it apart with his teeth while he guarded the salmon fillets. He cleared his throat after swallowing and turned to the blonde.

"Well, I just...you just...seemed to be in trouble. I wanted to help."

Chris smiled and glanced at Chester's empty glass. The boy seemed transfixed by him, so he broke the invasive stare by walking over to re-fill his glass. He tilted the bottle and poured the pink poison into the glass, creating a soothing cascade sound that echoed in the vast kitchen. Chester chuckled glancing up into Chris' lovely evergreen eyes. The older man gave the blonde a six second stare and noticed the centre of his espresso colored eyes. His pupils quickly dilated, momentarily turning his eyes five shades darker. Chris cleared his throat again, almost choking on his bacon and avoided Chester's stare. He ran back to his fillets and turned them over so that they were skin side down. The kitchen became permiated with the fine scent of fresh cooked salmon and rosemary, bringing a satisfying smile on Chris' face.  
On the other side of the kitchen Chester chugged his drink nervously until he felt comfortable enough to speak again.

"I...I have to write a song before the weekend starts"

The wine was bringing back memories of the events that lead him to this moment. He stared down at his empty glass and pondered on the inspiration for the song. He remembered how insecure Mike made him feel. This felt so heavy, it was like he couldn't get him out of his head. He made him paranoid and shattered all sense of safety.

"I'd be happy to help if you need it kid."

Chris picked up another piece of bacon off his plate again and chewed happily. He was curious to see what kind of lyrics Chester wrote, and wondered what his singing voice sounded like. A skinny, shy, petit guy like him probably sounded really soft. His high notes are probably pretty high. He turned his head to observe Chester's outfit, but noticed his empty wine glass again instead. _He's drinking too fast, but I hope it helps. Poor kid._

"I know what kind of song I'm going to write, I just haven't figured out the melody yet."

Chester rested his elbow on the island and then stacked his fist and head on top of it. He thought about the arrangement of his words, and how he would pour out every emotion into each one. Recording would be the the chance he needed to scream and let it all out, without feeling judged. Chris's voice echoed around the kitchen again.

" well, I can show you the studio and you can record something to take to your band. See if they like it. "

The blonde hesitated before smiling a little. He wasn't sure if he wanted Chris to look at his lyrics. _What if he figures it out? What if he can see right through me?_ He instinctively laid a hand on top of his messenger bag remembering his songbook and diary.

"Thank you so much, that's...very kind of you."

Chris killed the flame from the stovetop, and scooped the salmon fillets onto a white square ceramic plate. He carefully poured a custard yellow sauce, and sprinkled something dark on top. Chester watched as he brought the meal to him with a proud smile. He set it in front of him and rested his hands on his hips, and waited for the boy's veredict.

" sure thing kid. Here, try this. You look like you could use a hearty meal."

Chester wasted no time and quickly cut a piece of fish then shoved it into his mouth. The delicious piece melted like butter in his mouth an He closed his eyes savoring the complexity of the sweet and salty flavor. _Fuck he can really cook!_

"Oh my God Chris, this is delicious. What is this...salmon?"

Chester looked down at his plate in wonder. There were two perfectly cut salmon fillets drizzled with a light yellow sauce. Topped with a perfectly cut slice of lemon and a dark green spig of rosemary. _What sorcery is this?_

"Yes, it's grilled salmon with lemon butter sauce and a little bit of rosemary. "  
  
Chester stuffed another piece in his mouth and chewed happily. _Oh my god, this is so fucking good._

"It's delicious! Where did you learn how to cook like this?"

Chris smiled coyly at the blonde, who was now humming in pleasure with each bite. Chris pierced the egg yolk with the prongs of his fork. Then cut a large piece of an shoved it in his mouth. It had gotten cold already, but He didn't care. Watching Chester enjoying his meal was more important.

" I used to be a fish monger back in Seattle, I also worked as a sous chef, it's kind of like a cook's assistant. "

Chester licked his thin lips while he continued to devour his meal. Consuming this feast made him feel like was making love to his food. He wanted to be satisfied, but He also wanted to take his time exploring the juxtaposing flavors.

"This...is the most delicious fish I've ever had."

Chris thanked him with a smile, wiping the yolk off his plate with a piece of cold brioche toast.

"glad you like it kid, It would go better with a pinot noir but um. You like sweet drinks so, I hope the flavors aren't clashing."

Chris snatched the bottle of rosé and poured more wine for the boy. He seemed happier now, if not happier maybe a little less stressed. Chester grinned at his glass of wine and took a large gulp.

"Oh no, it's...it's wonderful. Thank you."

After Chester cleared his plate of the intricately delicious meal, Chris led him past the large glass French doors of the living room and into a pool area. The sunset perfectly lit the villa themed pool yard marking the end of a long day. Both men sat on their own beige chaise lounge chair, and talked for what felt like an eternity. They shared laughter, jokes, and countless silent stares. Two hours and two bottles of rosé later, Chris couldn't hold back his curiosity any longer. The question had been burning a hole in his mind, so he finally asked.

" So, what was the third thing you wanted to tell me? "

Chris asked tunning his guitar. His emerald green eyes glanced up at the blonde curiously. Chester shifted uncomfortably as the question caught him by surprise. The question wasn't the only thing that baffled him, but the fact that Chris had listened to him. He didn't just hear him absentmindedly like everyone else. He actually listened. When he looked at him, he didn't just acknowledge his presence. Every stare from him was like he was undressing the core of his soul. It was the stare he was giving him this very moment, so Chester looked away trying to keep him from reading his mind. He searched for answers _1\. I'm gay, 2. Mike touched me, 3. I think I have a crush on you. Oh my God...I can't do this._

" oh..um...I...I don't remember"

Chester took a deep breath and patiently waited for Chris to start talking again. The window of opportunity to speak up, closed and Chris lazily strumed his guitar and began to talk about a song he'd been writing. The blonde found himself unable to listen to anything Chris was saying. His thoughts and desires for this man were louder. _Should I tell him? Fuck it...I should just...do it._  
Before he could stop and think about his actions he threw himself towards the other man, tilted his head and pressed his lips against Chris'. Something in his slight state of intoxication told him he was going to get punched. Or thrown into the pool next to him, but much to his surprise he felt Chris' hands cupping his cheeks. He hummed returning and deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue inside Chester's mouth. Chris's hands wondered about. He tangled one of them in Chester's blonde hair and used the other to pull him closer, by the waist.  
Chester raised his left hand and used it to rake his fingers down Chris' chiseled abs. Even over the shirt, He could feel Chris' well defined muscles flexing. They were so firm and warm. He rested his hand on his stomach and went on to trace the older man's six pack. He allowed Chris to continue exploring the inside of his mouth with his tongue. The older, more experienced man massaged his tongue with the blonde's causing both of them to moan simultaneously. Chris gently pulled away from Chester with his eyes closed. Then licked his lips along with his pencil mustache, savoring the boy's sweet flavor. He opened his eyes and smiled at the blonde staring at his delicate flawless features. The pale moonlight hit every angle of his face perfectly. Even after he had pulled away from Chester he kept his hand on his cheek, still cupping it tenderly. He stared into his espresso colored eyes and smiled, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb.

"I was wondering when you were going to do that Chessie."


	12. Midnight passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by far one of the most difficult chapters I've written for this story. I've been interrupted I don't know how many times. I didn't really now what to do in the beginning, so naturally it's taken me longer to post. I'm sorry guys, but I hope it was worth it. I hope you all enjoy it. Some feed back would be nice. Happy reading.

"I was wondering when you were going to do that Chessie."

Chris eyes twinkled under the moonlight. He gently cupped Chester 's cheek while the other stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe this kid had fearlessly kissed him. He had to admit it was bold of him, daring even. He broke their intimate state to set to guitar next to him on the lounge chair. He sat there in silence, trying to process the kiss, then Just when a million thoughts crossed his mind he felt Chester's lips on his all over again. Chris kept his eyes opened, slightly startled over Chester's bravery. He felt the boy's cool thin fingers under his shirt wantonly caressing his six pack. He sat there, frozen accepting all the affection the blonde had to offer. He smiled at the light kisses the blonde was leaving up and down his neck. Then caught the sweet scent of wine on Chester's breath. He Felt a pang of guilt when he remembered the boy had drank two bottles of rosé all by himself. he backed away from his kisses gently pushing him back. _He's going to think I'm taking advantage of him. Not just that but, I'm not gay. Why do I want him so badly?_

"Wait...kid, this...this is wrong...you're drunk."

Chester stopped himself from kissing Chris long enough to respond. He pressed both palms against the taller man's chest and looked into his eyes, smiling sweetly.

"I'm not drunk. I...I'm a bit tipsy, but not drunk."

Chris reached for Chester's hands, but then pulled back in hesitation. He wanted the boy to kiss him again, but pondered the morality of their actions instead. He glanced down for a minute petting his goatee, uncertain of what was about to happen. For a split second he fought the urge to get up from the lounge chair and leave. His own desires agitated him. He blinked pensively, then turned to look at Chester again. He appeared to be so soft and petite, voulnerable. In need of a friend, a lover, a protector. It was then when he realized how bad he wanted the younger man. Chris inhaled slowly after finally building up the courage to give in to the boy's sweet touch. This time **he** tilted his head, and inched closer to the blonde initiating a deep passionate kiss.

Just as Chester closed his eyes a light cool summer breeze caressed his skin. He continued to kiss his hero, gently, slowly, passionately. Their tongues danced around together in a flirtatious waltz of passion, while their hands explored the undiscovered territory of each others bodies. Chris let the blonde touch him anywhere he wanted to, and even giggled when he peeled his shirt up to get a better view of his torso. Chester broke the kiss to stare at the scrumptious view of the six tan hills on the older man's abdomen. His lips quivered with desire as he traced each muscle. Chris' breath hitched and he chuckled at the blonde's feather like touch that gave him goosebumps. His lower lip curled in and he bit into it flashing his forest green eyes at the curious boy. Chester's cheeks turned a pink hue after watching Chris swiftly remove his torn white tee shirt.   
His maturity showed in his muscular torso, and the hairy trail that went from his belly button down past the hem of his tight jeans. His skin looked tan and golden even under the pale blue light of the full moon. Another breeze picked up, wafting Chris' spiced musk towards Chester's nose. His scent drove him crazy; stimulating a yearning in his groin. Chester felt his pants becoming tighter and he instinctively pushed down on his erection with embarrassment. He suddenly looked down, insecure then his head snapped up giving Chris a panicked glance.

"Chessie, it's okay. Look, I want you too."

Chris looked down and rubbed his erection over his pants, demonstrating his desire for the blonde. Chester looked at the growing bulge and his mouth began to salivate. He quietly made his way back to the lips of his hero and began a trail of kisses again. he kissed his collar bone then slowly migrated down to his nipples, making Chris shiver. He lingered there for a while kissing the golden pecs of the older man, giving each nipple a gentle suck before deciding to climb off the lounge chair and get down on his knees. Chris kept his eyes on the blonde, following every graceful movement. His breaths became quick and shallow when he realized the boy positioned himself between his legs; and began to unbuckle his leather belt for him. He knelt in front of him carefully unbuttoning and unzipping his pants with excitement.   
Chester gripped the hem of Chris' pants and looked up at him as if to ask for permission. The older man smiled and lifted his hips off the chair, facilitating the boy's deed. The blonde gulped and pulled down Chris ' pants, struggling against the tight denim as he did so. The jeans along with his boxer breifs went past his buttocks and a little past his thighs. Finally setting his throbbing erection free. To Chester 's surprise it sprung up bouncing a little once it was fully exposed. His eyes were wide and he stared at the large twitching member in front of him. The tip oozed pearlescent beads of precum that coated the thick veiny shaft. Right at the base there was a jungle of light brown pubic hair, that connected to the happy trail Chester had spotted earlier. He felt a rush of blood course through his body making him stick his tongue out. And like a month to a flame was drawn to Chris' hard cock. He slid the whole thing down his throat, tasting the pungent precum while he made his way down past the shaft. He continued to slowly take the whole member in, until his pointed nose touched the patch of thick pubes. The blonde gagged but was determined to swallow all of Chris. His taste was unlike anything else he'd ever had before. It was salty like ocean water, but also slightly sweet, like the rye from the whiskey he always sipped on.   
Chester hummed enjoying the flavor of his hero. He felt like he could suck him off all night. He partially pulled out some of it but continued to nurse on it like precum was his life blood. The blonde sucked and used his left hand to aide him in the act of giving pleasure. He simultaneously sucked and stroked Chris' hard member, that by now had a pulse of it's own inside the boy's mouth. While Chester sucked and stroked him painfully slow, Chris verdant eyes began to roll back. His melodic moans pierced the silence of the night, egging Chester on. He fought the urge to buck his hips up and instead raised a hand to the boy's head. He tangled his long fingers in the blonde locks of the younger man, and pat him lovingly. He raised his head to the sky with eyes closed while he supported himself with his free hand. Chris grunted at the feeling of the boy's hot wet mouth around his member. He moaned loudly at the sudden powerful suction that tugged his cock down. Chris looked down at the erotic scene unfolding before him. Chester was still on his knees staring at him through his black square glasses. His mouth perfectly engulfed his cock while Chris stroked his cheek with his thumb. The blonde wasn't using the assistance of his hand anymore, now he only used his surprisingly skilful mouth to bring the older man to the edge. He slurped loudly while he innocently stared into his lover's dozy eyes. The scene along with the other worldly sensation was driving Chris absolutely mad.

" hey...kid...Chester, please stop. You're going to make me...cum. "

The older man implored squeezing his eyes shut, gently pushing the blonde's head away from his groin. The boy opened his mouth so that Chris could pull his dong out. He cradled his manhood noticing the thick strands of saliva and precum that connected it with Chester's thin lips. He smiled meekly at the older man wiping his mouth with his hand Chris looked down at him and smiled exasperating. He offered his hand to the blonde who was still on his knees between his legs.

"Come here kid, get up off the floor."

He pulled Chester up to his feet and he stood there awkwardly. Chris eyes traveled up and down the boy's fully clothed body. His clothes looked baggy leaving too much to the imagination. The only skin that was visible was of his pale thin hands and his face. Chris kicked his cowboy boots off and finished peeling pants off; finally freeing himself from the confines of the form fitting denim. He stood up and quietly padded his way to Chester who blushed at the magnificent view. A delicate breeze caressed his tan skin while he held Chester in a loving embrace. He brought his lips down to the shell of the blonde's ear and kissed it lightly then whispered.

"May I...see you? All of you?"

Chester was hesitant at first, but the warm breath of the older man on the crook of his neck convinced him to nod. Chris   
leaned down and pressed his lips on the blonde, suddenly extracting all of his fears and worries from him. His goatee lightly scratched Chester's chin. His large calloused hands gently unbuttoned and tugged at his pants, shirt, and sweatshirt. A few minutes passed and Chris had removed several items of clothing from the blonde. He had removed almost everything, removed all but one. Chester cupped his privates timidly with both hands, and stood there awkwardly looking down. He giggled nervously momentarily glancing up at Chris who stood before him, confidently in all his glory. He visibly shook and looked away, making Chris hold him by the shoulders.

"It's okay, let me see."

Chester slowly removed his hands away from his groin, fully exposing himself to his lover. Chris' wondering stare traveled from Chester's tiny caramel colored nipples down to his petite taught belly, then finally made a stop at his supple cock and balls. It looked like the perfect hanging fruit. Ripe, juicy, and ready to pick. There was a small patch of fuzzy dark pubic hair that sat right above his manhood. Chris could see it begging for his touch as it twitched a little with the light breeze that swirled around them. Chester was no doubt a beautiful man, but seeing him. All of him without the countless layers of clothing was truly breathtaking. He licked his lips subconsciously preparing himself to love him all night. His eyes found their way back up to Chester's face, _his angelic, beautiful, delicate face._

"You're...beautiful."

Chris smiled and held Chester lovingly as he curiously began to touch him. Now it was his turn to discover the wonders of the blonde's soft warm body. He kissed him hungrily, surprising himself in the process. _I want him so badly._ His hands went up and down Chester's smooth spine then finally roosted on the small of his back. The blonde coiled his skinny arms around him, still amazed by Chris' muscular physique. The older man broke the kiss to massage the boy's growing erection. He casted his glance down and gingerly stroked it a few times, smiling while he watched it grow between their bodies. He stared at the blonde's slick member with interest, hypnotized by the milky precum that bled out of the sausage like penis.

"Does this feel good?"

Chester nodded slowly, letting himself become swept away with Chris' invigorating touch. The taller man pressed his forehead against the blonde's, gracing his pee slit with his thumb. Chester shivered feeling his manhood becoming more wet with each second that passed.

"Is this ok? Hmm? "

The blonde swallowed loudly and nodded with his eyes still closed. He wanted to look at his lover touch him affectionately, but hesitated. There was a war in his head. A dilemma. _If I look at him, I might get lost in his forest green eyes. I might get lost forever. If I look into his eyes, there's no going back. Ever._ He slowly opened his eyes and saw himself staring back. His reflection seemed to be alive in the verdant pools of his lover. Their noses touched tenderly before they shared an intimate kiss. Chris swallowed the boy's breath as he picked him up and carried him over to the lounge chair. He sat down with the blonde still in his arms, his plump lips still on Chester's. He continued to kiss him as if his life depended on it. As if the world would end if he didn't. And maneuvered the boy so that he was straddling him on the chair. They both sat there in a sexually charged embrace until they were both gasping for air. Their need for each other was evident in the way they clawed at each other for affection. They nibbled, sucked, and kissed each other everywhere they could. Chris cupped the blonde's silky smooth cheek, and looked deeply into his espresso eyes. He built up the courage to make a confession.

"I've...I've never been with a man before.

Chester tore his glance away from him and briefly looked sideways. Chris' confession ran through his head a few times, which begged for an answer. _I have many times...unwillingly._ The older man stroked his cheek with his thumb searching for him, while he was miles away in thought. He brought his glance back to Chris'.

" Um...me neither. "

The blonde confessed back, smiling. Chris suddenly seemed to hold back from touching him in confusion. Then flashed a playful toothy grin.

"So which one of us will...?

Chester looked panicked and cut him off before he cut finish the sentence.

"I want you inside me. Deep inside me."

Chris eyes softened and he smiled tenderly, laying back on the lounge chair. He adjusted himself with the blonde still straddled on top of him. Chester's hard member rested over the older man's abdomen and belly button, in between his well defined V line. He looked at Chris confused, suddenly feeling the type of nervousness he felt right before a performance. He felt as if all eyes were on him. Stage fright.

"You're... not going in from behind? " _like_ ** _he_** _did, like they always do?_

He stuttered. Surprised. Chris squeezed his hand reassuringly stroking his knuckles.

"Since this is our first time, I thought you on top would be better. This way you decide when and if to stop if it hurts too much. You're in control Chessie."

Chester felt a few tears tickle his eyes, as he birthed the first genuine joyous smile Chris had ever seen from him. No one had ever shown him such kindness and consideration during sex. No one even bothered to ask if he wanted it in the first place, but Chris cared. _This can't be real._ He leaned down to kiss his lover passionately, resuming what had started a few moments back. This time with more affection than before, if that was even possible. He gyrated his hips rubbing his stiff penis against Chris fit abs, earning a loud moan from him. The older man's large calloused hands reached up to squeeze the boy's firm butt cheeks. They felt like two perfectly round globes as he massaged them lustfully. Chester came up for air and moaned loudly, making an announcement to his considerate lover.

"I'm...ready. Please Chris. Make...love to me."

Chris nodded and reached down with one hand, heeding the boy's pleas . He took his own cock and aligned himself blindly. Chester let his instincts take over. He curved his back and used both hands to spread his firm cheeks revealing the pink secret between them. Chris member was like a heat seeking missile, quickly finding Chester's warm wrinkled pucker. The older man rubbed himself against the boy's entrance, using his thick precum as personal lubricant. Once he felt the area was moist enough so that he wouldn't hurt his partner, he pushed the head of his member in. The blonde moaned loudly feeling the tip of his lover's cock go past his hot tight ring. It felt like lightning had struck him right in the rear. It was a little painful, but oh so pleasurable. He bit his lip bracing himself to slide further down on the throbbing cock. The blonde lowered himself further and further, feeling his delicate hole stretching more with every inch of Chris' cock. The boy pushed himself through the pain finally seathin g all of Chris' manhood with his supple body. They moaned and grunted in unison losing themselves in pure pleasure.   
Chester began to rock his hips at a moderate pace making Chris' eyes roll back. He braced himself on Chris' muscular pecs while the older man steadied him by gripping his small hips. After a few minutes of continuous riding he leaned down to capture Chris lips. Even with his eyes closed he knew Chester was smiling. He tasted the blonde swallowing his sweet spit, then bucked his hips up a little. He found himself unable to hold back any longer. Between the blonde's sweet kisses and his cock that bounced obscenely between them, it was becoming more difficult not to cum. Chester's tight hot ass was bringing him closer to the edge. Every time the blonde stomped his ass down on him he could feel the numerous rings and ridges that lined his anal cavity, and it drove him crazy. The deeper the hotter, the tighter, the more wet. He never felt this much pleasure with a woman before. No woman ever let him in back there. While Chester continued to rock his hips in a faster rhythm, he reached down and began to stoke the blonde's penis. It was then when he noticed the vast amount of precum that had oozed out of the boy and onto his abs. Chris graced his thumb over Chester's pee slit again making him whimper.

"Fuck me Chris. Deeper. Harder. D...d..don't ho...hold back."

This was Chris 's cue take action and unleash the animal within. He gripped Chester's hips tightly digging his short nails into his pasty skin; and bucked his hips upward. With each hard thrust he plowed deeper making Chester scream in delight. He trusted faster and faster eventually making a wet clapping sound every time he pulled in and out of his young lover. Suddenly Chris felt a tightness in his chest that made him jolt up. The boy still rode him like there was no tomorrow even while They both sat stacked on the chair. He pressed both hands on each side of Chester's face and kissed him with hunger, swallowing his moans. The blonde mimicked his movements and continued to ride Chris' pulsating cock fiercely. This was it, Chris couldn't take it anymore Chester's tight supple body was driving him crazy. He needed to fun deep inside this angel. NOW! He pulled his head back breaking contact with Chester's lips gripping his bony hips for dear life. He caressed the boy with his yearning stare, letting his eyes wonder from his lovely brown down to his tiny nipples, his tight belly, and then finally his swollen bouncing cock.

He pumped his hips up once...

"I'm gonna cum..."

Chester looked at him mesmerized by his handsome face as raw energy, and nodded quickly.

"Me too... Harder please!"

He pumped twice...

"Fuck! Chester you feel so good. Better. Than. Any. Woman. I've. Ever. Had...mhmmm"

Chris thrusted with more force each time. He gave one powerful thrust in between words quickly losing himself in the suffocating heat of the blonde. His vision went black as he simultaneously reached for Chester's hand. They interlaced their fingers as Chris pumped inside the boy one third and final time. They both growled like wild animals in heat, climaxing together. Chris felt his cock pulsate inside Chester's slick rectum. With each throb hot molten cum spurt deep inside. Chester panted trying to catch his breath. He opened his eyes and curiously drew a line through his own pool of cum on Chris' abs. It seemed to glow under the moonlight and it looked like donut glaze. He brought it up to inspect it sniffing his own essence, then pressed the the cum covered finger on his tongue. He hummed delighted by his own pungent flavor. Chris stared at him in wonder, still out of breath and wrapped his arms around him fondly.  
He leaned back on the lounge chair bringing Chester down with him. Their heart beats slowed down along with their breaths and they laid there in the quiet of the night warmly holding each other. Chris' once erect manhood slowly became flaccid and, dislodged itself from Chester's tender butt hole with a loud plop. Their hands remained clasped together as their post coital drowsiness took over them luring them to a peaceful slumber.


	13. Panic

Chris opened his eyes to the warmth of the morning sun on his skin. It took him a few moments to realize he was not on his usual spot on the couch, but on a chaise lounge chair by his pool. He was in the nude and had Chester partially on top of him, who was also in the nude. The blonde had one of his skinny arms and one hairless thin leg draped over Chris's body.  
Chris brought a hand up to stroke the boy's back and affectionately kissed the top of his head. He smiled, remembering the previous night of passion they shared. The older man shifted around carefully as to not wake the sleeping boy by his side, and felt his body unstick itself from his lover. _We definitely have to shower._ He chuckled and traced undefined patterns over Chester 's back with his finger tips. The blonde nuzzled the crook of his armpit and exhaled peacefully.  
The older man traced his delicate boyish features with his gaze. Chester looked so beautiful, even when he slept. Chris tried to take all of his beauty in but then felt his stomach rumble. He needed sustenance and was sure the boy would love breakfast as well. With a heaviness in his heart, He gently shook the boy. Chris wished they could lie there all day, but realistically it was impossible. He shook the boy again this time tilting his head up so he could kiss him, then stroked his cheek affectionately.

"Chessie...baby, wake up..."

Chester stirred slightly burrowing his brows in disappointment. Chris chuckled, gently shaking him by the shoulder again.

"Come on Chessie...I'll make us breakfast."

The blonde's eyes shot open as he remembered what they had done the night before. _Oh my_ _God...we_ _had sex._ The memory of Chris deep inside him and the countless kisses they shared flooded his mind. He swallowed a lump in his throat and stared at a red rose bush by the chaise lounge chairs. They reminded him of passionate love. A cool breeze rushed through caressing his skin making him shiver, finally convincing him to sit up. The older man chuckled again and combed his own hair back with his finger tips.

" Breakfast is nice to wake up to, right? "

Chris smiled at his lover then his smile slowly faded when he realized he was covering his privates with both hands. His shoulders were raised to the point where touched his ears, and his stare was glued to the floor.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Chris sat up and his eyes searched for Chester's. He wondered why suddenly he seemed so shy about his body. Or perhaps he was cold, but based on the look on his face he seemed timid or frightened. The boy turned and looked him in the eye with a frown.

"I just...I just...don't like being naked...I'm cold."

Chris scooted closer to the boy and held him in a warm embrace, then tenderly kissed his lips.

"Better?"

Chester closed his eyes smiling joyfully. Enjoying the way the other man's affection thawed his heart, and made everything okay again. He nodded leaning against the older man's muscular pecs while enjoying their protective warmth. He felt Chris kiss the top of his head before he spoke again.

"Before we do anything else, we need to shower. We're both a little... sticky from last night."

Chris chuckled, pressing a large hand on his pubic hair. Then pulled back to show his partner how a few black wiry curls remained stuck to his hand. They both shared a laugh and held each other for a few more seconds before sadly breaking their embrace to head inside. Chris clasped his lover's hand and interlaced his fingers with his partner's, as he lead him through his enormous house. It was like going through a lavish labyrinth. Chester continued to cup his privates while he trailed behind Chris who laughed happily, until they reached the master suite. Chester caught a glimpse of Chris's eyes, while he retrieved some luxurious fluffy white towels from a large wicker basket in the room. His eyes seemed to have light in them, he was beaming as he offered a towel to the blonde, then his lovely eyes trailed down to the blonde's hands that still cupped his privates. Chris' smile fell for the second time that morning, and a wave of concern washed over him.

"Chester...are you alright?

The blonde looked like a deer in the headlights, then he shifted around trying to shrink his body.

"Look...I was going to ask you if you wanted to shower together, but you look a little uncomfortable. Do you need privacy?"

Chris studied him for a minute then watched the boy shrug slowly . The older man felt his heart sink but nodded back. He understood Chester was the type of person that had been through a lot and didn't want to make him feel uneasy. If he needed privacy he had no issue granting it.

"You take the master suite, and I'll take a shower in one of the other rooms...there's.."

Chris kept his composure then swallowed a lump in his throat and wanted to go on but was suddenly got cut off by Chester.

"No..no..I want to shower with you. I'm just scared." _Because I'm married and have a baby...With a WOMAN! And I like you a lot, but I've singlehandedly ruined my marriage and our friendship and whatever we would have turned into._

Chris furrowed his brows, and went to the rescue He dropped the towels on the marble flooring exchanging them for the boy's hands. He squeezed them gently and searched for his eyes.

"Scared of what Chessie?"

Chester didn't hesitate and stared at the small space between them, then looked into Chris eyes.

" Scared of this. What...are we? Did...did I ruin our friendship? Will things be the same between us?"

Chester's eyes welled up with tears as he lowered his head in shame. Chris squeezed his eyes shut along with the boy's hands. He wasn't sure he was ready to tell Chester what he was about to say, but the boy needed to hear it. Chris thought that the meaning behind what they had done was clear as day, but it seemed that for the blonde it was a blurred gray line. He found the strength within himself to speak up, for the boy's sake. He had to stop his tears from falling.

"Chester, I'm afraid not. Things will never be the same between us, because...because you make me feel things I've never felt for another man before. I don't understand how this came to be, but I...I'm in love with you."

Chester's head snapped up with his eyes filled with tears. His thin lips quivered in disbelief. The realisation that he had made a mistake by marrying a woman, and going as far as starting a family with her was setting in. _I don't even like women. I've always liked men. I should've waited._ It felt like a bucket of ice cold water was being poured on him, very slowly. He looked at Chris' eyes and saw sincerity in them.

"I just want to protect you, hold you. I want you to be happy, and I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but know this. You didn't ruin anything by being yourself. It's gonna be okay Chester."

Chris took his hands an gave them a gentle squeeze. He held his gaze up, staring past Chester's eyes and into his soul searching for him. The blonde averted his eyes still frightened of of what Chris might see in them. He wanted him but he knew deep inside this was going to cost him. _I don't want to hurt you Chris._

" does this mean?...are we...? Are we...together? "

The blonde blinked away a few tears looking down, unsure of his future with his hero. Chris pierced him with his gaze and stroked Chester's knuckles with his thumbs reassuringly. He cleared his throat and bit his lip before speaking.

"If you feel the same way, if that is what you want...then yes."

Chris looked down at their hands, then their bodies only then realising that their entire exchange had occurred in the nude. A minute of silence from the blonde felt like an eternity. The more time passed the more Chris felt this was probably the last time he'd ever see Chester. This was probably the last time he'd hold his hands this way. The yearning for the blonde toyed with his mind and the long unbearable silence was crushing his heart.

" what... do you want chris? "

He didn't falter and began to speak again with confidence. Certain of what he wanted. Of what he needed. He knew himself well enough to know that this was more than crush. This was something bigger. Something more.

"I want to wake up next to you, anywhere just as long as I'm next to you. I want to dry your tears when you cry, make love to you when we're happy, I want to hold your hand in the street, and catch you when you fall. I just want you."

Chester raised his gaze from the floor and looked at Chris longingly. _here goes nothing._ He licked his lips and stood on the tips of his toes, closed his eyes and captured Chris' plump lips. He felt Chris's large hands on his bare hips and continued to kiss him feeling his head spin. He hung his arms over the taller man's shoulders beginning to feel light headed, from the lack of oxygen. He felt his heart pounding against his chest and fluttering in his stomach. After three minutes of passionate affection both men pulled apart and shared a loving stare. They both smiled holding hands and the blonde blushed.

" I want to be with you Chris. I...I'm I'm love with you too. It's just that, my own mind. My own feelings scare me sometimes. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It's too..."

"Intense?"

Chris completed his sentence and the boy nodded thoughtfully. The taller man smiled cupping his lover's cheek then felt his heart soften and he pulled the blonde close for a hug. He smiled, blinking back a few tears of joy making sure Chester wouldn't see him. He planted a kiss on his his crown and rubbed his shoulder.

"Come on baby, let's shower. It will make you feel better."

Chris picked the fluffy white towels off the floor and led his lover into the large bathroom. Chester looked around and was awestrucked by the simple yet beautiful architecture of the bathroom. There was a spacious his and hers sink to the right adorned with a red rose filled vace in the centre. To the left there was a baday and a stainless steel towel rack stocked full of luxurious white towels. Towards the back there was a large circular Jacuzzi tub and next to it a pair of large glass doors, where Chester assumed was the shower. It was all gently washed in the morning sunlight coming in thorough the sunroof. Everything was immaculate and white.   
Chester observed everything while he padded behind Chris, who made his way to the large glass doors and pulled them open. He stepped inside and waved his hand at his lover motioning him to come inside. He obeyed and stepped inside immediately noticing the bamboo flooring in the shower. His eyes bounced around in every direction noticing dozens of little holes all over the walls.At the far end of the shower there was a bamboo bench that was anchored to the wall. _Who the hell sits in their shower? Weird._ Chris smiled at him with his hand on a rectangular handle on the wall.

"Ready?"

Chester have him a side glance and nodded. Chris turned the handle and suddenly a light rainfall began. Chester laughed and looked up turning his palms up as well to catch the rain. It fell from every inch of the shower ceiling. Chris smiled wholeheartedly at his partner who laughed happily at the centre of his shower. The water weighed down his dark wavy hair, making it stick to the sides of his face and the nape of his neck. He made his way to Chester and snaked his muscular arms around the boy making him look back down.

" Do you like it? "

Chester chuckled and kissed his partner.

"It's so cool...I've never seen a shower that simulates rain before."

Chris smiled and held his boyfriend by the hips then leaned down to press his forehead against the blonde's.

" It reminds me of home, I love rain." _You look so beautiful Chessie. You have the kindest smile I've seen in a very long time._

Both men stood under the artificial rainfall in silence then Chris reached for a bottle of shampoo. He turned the bottle upside down and squeezed it, drizzling a small amount of clear liquid on his palm. Then sat the bottle back in It's place and began to rub the shampoo on Chester's short hair. He worked it in with his fingertips creating a lather. Then Chris worked his way down past his shoulders and smirked at his partner.

"Arms up baby."

Chester giggled but obeyed, lifting his arms to reveal two light brown patches of hair. Chris pampered his lover by scrubbing them carefully, then let his hands slowly wonder down to his penis.

" may I? "

The blonde gave him a shy stare while he smiled, but nodded. He let Chris gently wash his genitals for him, and couldn't help getting half hard. He closed his eyes enjoying Chris' soft touch,and swore he could feel love radiating from his large hands. His butthole pulsed and flashes of memories from the previous night teased him. He moaned softly feeling Chris' hands getting closer to his delicate pucker. _oh my god, I don't think I can take him again._ Chris leaned down to kiss his shoulder and simultaneously reached down to wash between his cheeks. When he felt a dull pain in his pucker.

"Oww"

Chris immediately stopped and let his partner nuzzle his neck while he held him soothingly.

"I'm sorry honey, did I hurt you last night?

Chester continued to nuzzle his lover's neck while the other held him close. Ribbons of shampoo suds cascaded down his sore body.

"A little, but it's not your fault. You're just...big that's all. "

Chris kissed his blonde curls with guilt. He didn't want to be the cause for his partner 's pain and made a mental note to purchase lube and not thrust as hard next time. He knew Chester was as delicate as a rose petal, and should be treated as such. It was hard to refrain himself from making love to him with full force. He'd held back a lot and tried to be as sweet and considerate as possible, but he still managed to hurt Chester. His hands stroked his boyfriend 's back repeatedly with care. _I need to be more careful with him._ Just as he entered a trance like state he felt the boy's hands on his hair, quickly snapping him out of his guilt.  
Chester laughed creating white suds atop his lover's head. His hearty laughter dwindled down to chuckles, then finally died down when his young hands reached Chris's puffy pecs. He ran his hands down over Chris's washboard abs, then traced his perfect V line over his hips. Chris smiled at the awestruck boy and placed his hand on top of his.

"You like that spot a lot, don't you?"

The blonde nodded bitting his lip, and let his lover's hand guide his own down to his large member.

"I do, it's like an arrow that points down...to this.'

They both washed Chris's genitals for a few delicious minutes. Chester used his free hand to wash between Chris' fuzzy butt cheeks making his partner moan. The rest of shower consisted of heavy petting, laughter, and countless tender kisses. Both men curiously explored the wonders of each others bodies. They made new discoveries of pleasurable spots unknown to themselves before.   
Thirty minutes later both men were squeaky clean. They excited the master suite's bathroom with wrinkled fingertips, laughing. Fluffy towels were wrapped around their waists and a cloud of steam followed them out of the restroom. Chris made his way towards a walk in closet; that from Chester's perspective looked just as big as the bathroom. He stood there awkwardly feeling the droplets of water slowly slide down his body. He felt their weight tap loudly against the carpeted area below him. _Tap tap tap tap._ Chester looked down and a flashback of Mike removing his towel, invaded his mind. Now he always felt so vulnerable in a just a towel. He always had the notion that someone was going to remove it from him and molest him. _You smell as good on the inside as you do on the outside._ The corners of his mouth tugged downward at the memory.  
Before his mind could venture out to a darker place Chris exited the closet fully dressed. He wore a pair of distressed acid wash jeans, untied combat boots, a faded Beatles tee shirt. His ear length hair was still damp, and bits of stuck to his face. Probably from pulling the tee over his head. Chester watched him comb his hair back with his finger tips and he flashed his lime green eyes at him, smiling. But just as soon as his smile appeared it faded away.

"What's wrong baby?"

Chris quickly walked to his boyfriend ready to comfort him for what felt like the tenth time that morning. Chester crossed his arms over his chest to cover his tiny hard nipples, and quickly conjured up the best smile he could.

"I'm just...cold. I didn't bring more clothes."

Chris rubbed his back sweetly and smiled.

"Oh, it's okay sweetie. Feel free to pick whatever you want out of the closet. I'm sure you'll find something that fits. I'll be in the kitchen. How bout some waffles and some eggs? Does that sound good?"  
  
Chester nodded excitedly with a wide grin spreading across his face. Chris leaned down and passionately kissed his lover before leaving the luxurious room. The blonde slowly walked into the enormous walk in closet and was suddenly faced with a plethora of clothing. He didn't even know where to begin to look. He removed his towel and began to dry himself, looking around at the hundreds of clothes staring back at him. _It's like walking into the mall. Why does he have so many clothes?_  
He walked over to a section of just jeans and picked out a pair of dark wash ones off the rack. They were a little distressed, but not so much that it would make him look hobo chic. Then he walked to another rack and snatched a random white shirt with an indistinguishable red faded logo. Perfect! He looked down at his limp member and slipped into the jeans, realizing he'd be going commando again. He feared looking for a pair of underwear in the drawers. _What if...what if Chris wears banana hammocks? And then he...sniffs it while I'm in the shower? What if he shoves his fingers up there and he hurts me?_ _No. Chris wouldn't do that. Chris wouldn't hurt me. He loves me. He loves me._  
Mike's voice echoed in his head _Enjoy my touch baby._ He suddenly remembered the feeling of Mike's clammy finger up his rectum and he cringed.

"No..no...get out of my head...no get out. Go away."

Chester squeezed the sides of his head covering his ears as if someone was screaming at him. He rocked back and forward for a few seconds, before quickly slipping into his shirt and running out of the closet barefoot. He shook with fear and stood in front of the closet he'd just come out of and began to tear up. He cried into his palms feeling frightened, hopeless, and paranoid. Deep inside of him he knew this was all a ticking time bomb. It wasn't the question of 'will Mike rape me?' It was a question of when an how. The thought of it followed him around like a rain cloud, everywhere he went. He had unwillingly let Mike become a part of him, and it was rotting his mind.  
He stood there crying silently when the smell of fresh baked waffles wafted through the air, pulling him out of his panic attack. He smiled as he realized that even from afar Chris had the ability to calm him down. He laughed, wiped his tears, and headed for the kitchen.


	14. Sripped

Chester wiped his tears with the backs of his hands, and let his feet and the alluring aroma of fresh baked waffles lead him to the kitchen. He lightly jogged through the spacious hallways of Chris' mansion until he reached the kitchen door. It was a large white wooden door with a circular window in the centre. Chester quietly leaned against it, and got on his tippy toes to take a peek inside. Chris smiled charmingly whilst vigorously whisking something in a bowl. A little bit of steam rose from the waffle maker behind him, making Chester turn his head. It was unbelievable, Chris hadn't even been in the kitchen that long, and he had already made the whole first floor smell like a five star restaurant. Chester felt his stomach rumble, persuading him to finally push the kitchen door and tip tow inside.  
Chris flashed a charming smile at him then winked acknowledging his presence. He raised his arm up inspecting the viscosity of a mustard yellow sauce on the whisk. Then promptly set it down turning around and giving his attention back to some small white blobs on a frying pan.

"You know...I was thinking. Maybe we can work on your song after breakfast."

Chester looked down at his bare feet and wiggled his toes on the cold marble flooring. He swallowed nervously and took a seat on a tall stool in front of the kitchen island. The taller man moved something in the pan making it sizzle, sending a scent bomb in the air. The thought of having to put his feelings into a song in front of Chris made Chester a little uneasy. Writing it down meant he had to recall things he'd rather forget about, but he had to turn in a song before the weekend. He raised his gaze to Chris who was currently arranging a large waffle on a square white plate. Chester licked his lips longingly staring at the golden brown waffle and simply nodded.

" I can show you my home studio, and you can record whatever progress you make, give it to your guys tomorrow. How's that? "

The older man carefully poured the yellow sauce over one of the white blobs on a separate plate, then thoroughly tossed a fruit salad in a crystal clear bowl.

"That would be great, it beats having to record back in that studio building."

Chester forced a smile momentarily looking up at his boyfriend, while he scooped a little bit of fruit salad onto a smaller bowl.

" You didn't like that building ? It's actually a pretty nice studio for you to be recording in for the first time. I went there a couple of times, but it was way later in my career. I'm sure that Mike guy had to pull some strings. "

Chris continued arranging their plates putting the final touches, then gracefully placed a few plates in front of a ravenous Chester.  
His eyes nearly came out of his head when he saw the insane amount of food. _I'm supposed to eat all that?_ He thought that was all when he saw Chris's large hand place a hot beverage in a mug in front of him. As if possible, Chester's eyes grew wider in surprise and he gave Chris a startled look.

"Oh my God Chris...I thought we were just having waffles. What's all this stuff?"

Chris laughed and sat across from him, eagerly cutting into his Texas sized waffle .

"I made buttermilk waffles, made the batter myself, eggs Benedict, fresh mixed fruit salad with wild honey, and two lattés. I figured you might need some coffee after...well...you know. All the wine."

He shoved the large waffle piece in his mouth and smiled, satisfied with his own cooking. Chris swallowed and nodded at his hungry lover.

"Go ahead sweetie, dig in."

The blonde was a little hesitant and shy at first, but after that first taste of waffle there was no coming back. He ate quickly but quietly. Bite after bite, enjoying the warm comfort of the food his lover had prepared for him. Chris ate a lot slower mesmerized by scene of his partner enjoying his cuisine. Even though he looked adorable while he ate, he thought it was a bit strange that he did it so quickly. He couldn't help but stare at Chester's skinny body, and wonder where he put it all.

"I've never had...eggs....Benedict....what's that yellow sauce on top?"

Chester asked in between chews, wolfing down half an egg in one large bite. Chris watched him closely, while he desperately ate the tiniest crumbs from his plate like his life depended on it. _Poor thing 's always hungry._

"It's hollandaise sauce. It's egg yolks, lemon juice, dijon, salt and a dash of cayenne pepper for a little kick."

The blonde ate the other half of the egg, humming and closing his eyes. He reminded Chris of a purring cat after eating a whole can of tuna. Chester slowly peeled his eyes open, flashing a pleased shy look at his lover.

"I love it... It's tangy."

Chester gave his chef a side eyed glance, rubbing the small lump on his stomach. He snatched the latté and tilted the mug back drinking half of it in one gulp, making his food baby a little bigger. Then immediately gulped the other half shocking Chris in the process. He wasn't sure how long he could keep a straight face. _Dang, this kid puts away food like a trash can._ Just when Chris thought his partner couldn't shock him anymore, the blonde unintentionally beltched causing him to finally burst out in laughter. Chester's face turned bright red and he looked down giggling.

"I'm sorry...um your food is delicious...I...I'm sorry."

Chris let out one final handsome chuckle and pressed a white napkin against Chester's lips. He gently wiped the corner of his mouth, removing remnants of hollandaise sauce and whipped cream.

"It's okay, honey. I'm...flattered. My ex wife never ate anything I cooked. She said it would make her fat. So, it's nice to have someone who likes my cooking."

He stated , crossing his arms and resting them over the table. His eyes wondered down to the empty plates in front of his partner then at his own. He wasn't even half done, so it meant he either had to eat quicker or offer Chester more food.

"Do you want some more baby? I can make you another egg, perhaps one more waffle?"

Chester delicately covered his mouth with one hand , letting out a small but quiet burp this time. He shook his head and rubbed his belly again.

"No thanks Chris, I'm really full. That was a lot of food."

He chuckled staring at his empty plates then fraught his eyes back up to meet Chris'. Who continued eating his meal at a much slower pace.

" I can...help you with dishes though.'

The blonde's eyes lit up along with the "bright idea" lightbulb above his head. Chris smiled and reached across the table to clasp his hand.

" Don't worry kid, that's the dishwasher's job"

He nodded at a large metal appliance over by the kitchen sink, then shoved a another waffle piece past his lips. He chewed quietly, looking into his partner's lovely dark eyes.

"So...that song. What's it about? Tell me what the idea behind it is."

Chester's smile faded and his glance shifted from Chris face to their hands that were still clasped together. He knew this was going to come up at some point, and he knew Chris would ask about it. He just wasn't expecting it to be so soon. What was he supposed to say? _Oh it's about being sexually assaulted by my_ _bandmate_ _and other men. It's about how disgusting and insecure it makes me feel._ He stared at his own hand in his lover's and realized that not all hope was gone. He wanted to trust him, but he feared the possibility of rejection or another broken heart. _What if he sees me differently? What if I tell him and sees me how I see myself. Tainted, broken, pathetic, disgusting. I can't tell him now, we just started._ He looked up frowning and anxiously bounced his glance all around the kitchen.

"Um...It's about...going through a hard time in life, and coping with it all...with...drugs."

He laughed nervously and frowned again feeling Chris's stare on him.

"You too huh? It sounds relatable. I think people appreciate music that they can relate to."

Chester slowly looked up to see Chris casually chewing his food, as if he hadn't just confessed that he used drugs at some point in his life.

"I mean don't get me wrong. A simple pop song with a catchy beat vapid of depth and meaning is ok once in a while, but meaningful music is something the soul needs. People like to pretend that they're in mint condition. So they listen to pop bull shit that makes them seem normal. Makes them feel like everything is fine, but in reality most people are broken. The difference between people is that some of them have a few chips here and there, but others are broken beyond repair. Meaningful music makes those people feel not so alone in their struggles. Drug use is a common struggle for a lot of people. So, I think it's a good topic for a song."

Chris finished his statement along with his latté and picked up his dishes as well as Chester's, and placed them in the dish washer. Chester sat in silence thinking about what Chris had said. He hugged himself and flashed a broken smile at the floor. The more time he spent with his lover the more he felt understood. It was eerie yet magical. It was like Chris could read him like a book.  
After both men finished loading the dishwasher with all the dishes from that morning and the previous night, Chris lead his partner far away. Halfway to the other side of the house. They passed countless doors, a home gym, a greenhouse and a study before they arrived to a spacious room. The walls were grey and covered in a soundproof foam. There were numerous guitars on stands, a soundboard, mic stands, a vocal booth, and even an entire drum set. There was a large window that allowed plenty of natural light inside, and a small flower pot on the window sill full of yellow Acacia.  
Chester looked through the window and saw the horizon and the outline of the city. They were far away from everyone. From everything. He wouldn't have a hard time focusing on his work. Perfect. He calmly turned to see Chris holding his messenger bag then quickly snatched from his hands in panic. Chris raised a brow and stared at the scared boy before him. He hugged his tatterd messenger bag tightly and took quick shallow breaths.

"Calm down kid. I wasn't going to look through your stuff. I just brought your bag for you. Do you have the lyrics?"

Chris was still surprised by his lover's reaction and sat down on a chair with wheels. He rolled closer to his boyfriend and observed his movements. He remained quiet while he took out a torn up a composition book. There were scribbles and worn out stickers on the now easily pliable cover. Chris noticed a few crumpled up pieces of paper hit the floor followed by some pencils. Chester quickly looked through his notebook mumbling something to himself. Chris furrowed his brows and stealthy picked up one of the wads of crumpled paper, and opened it up. It's contents painted a heartwarming smile on his charming face. He stared at his own name in the centre of a heart above a well done sketch of his eyes. Chris smiled coyly to himself and waded the paper back up again, shoving it into his pocket.   
Chester handed him his composition book with a trembling hand, and pointed at the page that had his lyrics scribbled. Chris gently took it with a smile and looked over them. _Crawling_ He read to himself and rested a hand on his chin and began to hum a melody to go with the lyrics. The words were dark, and mysterious. Brilliant everything flowed nicely, but Chris couldn't shake away the thought that this wasn't a song about drugs. He lifted his glance from the notebook to see Chester shivering in front of him. He looked petrified and was squeezing a pencil so hard with one hand, Chris thought it would snap any minute. He noticed there were bite marks near the eraser and little scratches that looked like they had been made by fingernails. _I wonder what this song is really about. What's eating you buddy?_

"So...what do you think...is it...is it stupid?"

Chris snapped his head up and looked curiously at the blonde, who shifted around nervously. He shook his head quickly and offered his boyfriend a smile to soothe him.

"No baby it's not stupid. It's a good song. I think I have an idea for the melody. let me get my guitar and I'll show you."

Chris quickly walked across the room and grabbed an acoustic guitar and a bright red pick that was on the soundboard. He found his place back on the office chair and strummed his guitar. Promptly getting to business. Chester stood there nervously and waited curiously to see what kind of melody Chris had playing in his mind.  
He began to sing the lyrics out loud with a soft sad melody, instantly catching Chester's ear.

"There's something inside me   
That pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming confusing  
This lack of self control I fear  
is never ending Controlling  
I can't seem To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure..."

Chris gave the song a solemn grungy sound. The notes he hit were imperfect and sometimes a little off, giving the lyrics a more grim feel than what Chester imagined. When the time for the chorus came, Chester couldn't hold back any longer and screamed with the frustration that he'd pent up for weeks. All his fear, love, and hate went into every word of the chorus. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling relief for the first time in months. It was like letting go of a hot coal.

"Crawling in my skin   
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall   
Confusing what is real"

He continued to sing then paused for Chris to sing the second verse. Then simply heard the strumming of the guitar which made him open his eyes. There were a few tears that fell from them he was unaware of. Embarrassed, he wiped them away and looked at Chris who stared at him awestruck. _How does a little thing like that scream so loudly? What a voice!_  
The angsty blonde spoke up halting his train of thought.

"Was that...was that... Bad?"

Chris gave him a puzzled look then looked around the room searching for the right words. _Is this kid serious? Bad? What the fuck?_ He looked at Chester dead in the eye with a smile and said.

" Bad? That was beautiful. No, wait. It was brutal. No. Brutaful. I didn't think your voice sounded that way. I imagined it to be... softer. That's great. Let's record this. Even if it's a little rough at least you'll take the guys back an idea of what you've been working on. "

Chester blushed and smiled at his boyfriend who flipped some switches , and turned some knobs on the soundboard. A few hours passed and the melody had become a little more defined. They made some changes to the lyrics and had even recorded two different versions of the song. The morning became the afternoon, and the late evening sky took the sun away bringing up a full, pale blue, summer moon. Unlike with the guys, recording with Chris felt easy. Effortless. It didn't wear him out of feel like a chore and the hours passed him by like minutes. He felt happy with his progress and got a sense of accomplishment. Chris pressed a button for the vocal booth on the soundboard, and a blinking red light stopped. He walked over to the booth and pulled the door to it carefully, taking a peak inside. He gave Chester a loving look and leaned against the door frame, giving his feet a break from his body weight.

"I think we can stop now. I recorded that last attempt. You sound phenomenal. You're going to go places with that voice. It's a gift."

Chris and Chester shared an intimate stare, and before both men knew it they crashed their bodies together and began to kiss feverishly. Chris cupped Chester's cheeks tenderly and kissed him deeply, knocking a pair of headphones Chester wore off his head. He gently pushed him against on of the the walls of the six by six booth. Their hands desperately tugged, and scratched at each others clothing yearning for that sweet skin to skin contact. Their foreheads touched while Chris looked down and urgently unbuckled Chester's belt. There was a desire he didn't fulfill in their previous night of passion, and he needed to. Now. He hooked his long calloused thumbs on the hem of Chester's pants and looked into his eyes. Asking for permission with one longing stare. Chester bit his his lip and looked down simultaneously raising his thin arms up, as if surrendering to Chris' need.  
Chris took a deep breath in hoping to calm his desire for the boy and gingerly pulled Chester's pants down. He pushed the hem of the distressed jeans passed his knees, and was greeted by Chester's circumcised slow rising member. His fuzzy supple balls hanged a little lower than they were a few seconds ago. Chris licked his plump lips and got on his knees, preparing himself to taste another man's penis for the first time in his life. He craved something he never carved before. Never in his 33 years had he craved the semen of another man. He had to have Chester's cum. He wanted to taste him so bad.

"May I...taste you?"

Chester nodded quietly, mentally preparing himself to feel Chris' plump lips on his member. Chris swallowed then kicked his lips then used Chester's bony hips to steady himself before gently kissing the tip. The blonde let out a breathy moan and leaned his head back closing his eyes. The green eyed beauty below him took the whole head in his mouth and gave it a few gentle sucks sending him far into another dimension. Meanwhile, Chris savored the salty taste of his lover's precum in his mouth and hummed in pure joy. He stuck his tongue out feeling the veins on his shaft, and ridges that separated the shaft from the delicious head. Chris slid the scrumptious cock far past his lips and consumed the tiny beads of precum the blonde oozed.   
His lover moaned loudly twitching a little.

"Oh...my god...Chris..fuck.."

Still keeping himself steady with one hand on Chester's hip, he reached around with the other and parted his cheeks to expose his lovely rectum. He continued to suck his boyfriend's penis knowing of the yummy treat he would receive at the end. Chris gently massaged his partner's tight pucker with his index finger, earning a girlish moan from him.

"R...right...right...there. Chris...ahh..f..f..finger me."

Chris obeyed and pushed the digit past his lover's tight sphincter, while he simultaneously swallowed his manhood. He quickened his pace a little, in sync with the gentle probing in the back. He made loud slurping sounds, lapping all of Chester's salty creamy precum. There was something about having his lover's privates in his mouth that made him feel like he was on top of the world. He never thought about putting another man's penis in his mouth. Not even for a second, but when it came to Chester he was willing to do anything and everything with him. He was so in love with the blonde he'd even let him penetrate him if he wanted to. Anyway he wanted to, which scared him a little. _Fuc_ k _Chessie, you drive me crazy baby._  
Chester moaned loudly letting his lover know he enjoyed what he was doing to him. The green eyed beauty swallowed all of him, then pushed his finger in deeper and wiggled it around. Chester moaned louder and bucked his hips ever so slightly. His lover found a very soft spot inside his rectum and curiously massaged him, causing Chester to sing out a melody of moans and various curse words. His voice was high pitched and his breaths were quick and shallow. Chris moved his head faster and got ready for a load of the boy's salted milk. Soon his loud wet slurps and his lover's loud moans was all that could be heard inside the vocal booth. He pushed his finger deeper feeling the hot wet pucker swallow his knuckle immediately causing the blonde to twitch and wail.

"I'm coming! Chris! Fuuuuuuck!"

Chester's hot goopy cum shot inside his boyfriend's mouth at what felt like the speed of light. The green eyed beauty swallowed his hot salted load with great satisfaction and continued to bob his head lapping every drop of Chester's essence. He opened his mouth freeing his lover's member. Chris watched how a few drops of the hot sticky seed dripped down Chester's shaft, and over his fuzzy ball sack. Desperate for more of his partner's taste, he grabbed his cock and tugged it up to get a better reach for his balls. Chris dragged his tongue over the fuzzy ball sack giving each testicle a soft suck. He continued to drag his tongue all the way up the shaft, cleaning his lover. Then finally licked his lips as if he had just had the world's most famous delicacy. Chester trembled above him trying to catch his breath, and smiled at him chewing his lower lip. Chris smiled back and gave each of Chester's hip bones a kiss.

"Wow you're...really good at that."

Chester laughed amazed with his partner's oral skills. The taller man stood up towering over him, and held him close.

" yeah, you like that? "

The blonde nodded hiding his timid smile by leaning against his boyfriend's pecs.

"Do you want to take this to the bedroom, baby?"

Chris asked a blushing Chester who quickly nodded and giggled. They continued to kiss for a few more minutes. Whispering loving passionate words to each other like secrets. Peaceful, comfortable, and delighted. Oblivious of the blinking red light on the soundboard.


	15. Hidden Track

"Alright baby, ready to go? Did yo get your messenger bag?

Chris smiled at the blonde with a lit cigarette between his lips. It was almost mid day and Chester was anxious to show the guys what he had been working on while he was away. He promptly clicked his seat belt on and turn to smile at his wicked driver, who was ready to hit the highway.

" Yeah. I got everything. I'm ready! "

He replied with a wide grin. Chris flashed him back a wicked smile and turned the key to his muscle car, making the engine roar loudly. The car vibrated and Chris reached under his seat for his signature drink. He uncorked the whiskey bottle and tilted his head back, along with it. Chugging the burning liquid. He drank one third of the large bottle and smacked his lips, re-corked it and put it back under his seat for safe keeping. Chester observed his driver quietly and laughed when he peeled off his driveway. Chris inhaled the delicate smoke from the cigarette that rested on his lips, but kept one hand on the wheel and the other on the shifter. His foot pushed the gas pedal a little deeper causing the speedometer to read 95mph.

The speed comforted him but terrified Chester who hugged his messenger bag tightly. Once in the the highway Chris noticed his boyfriend's quiet demeanor and the way he held his bag trying to ease himself. The spooked look on his face made him slow down to an acceptable 60mph. He flicked the cigarette butt out of the window and spoke keeping his eyes on the road and the cars he was dodging.

"Are you alright baby?"

Chris could see Chester loosening his grip on his bag out of the corner of his eye, and take deep breath. He turned his head, still leaning it on the headrest and smiled gawking at his crazy driver's muscular arms. Immediately reminding himself that loving this man was thrilling. Sure, his lover drove like he had a death wish, drank a gallon of whiskey a day, and carried a revolver, yet in some strange way made he made him feel safe. He loved him in-spite of his hair-raising habits.

"your...your driving just scares me a little sometimes."

The green eyed stud turned to smile kindly at his young lover, then turned his gaze back to the road that seemed to be a little more crowded after he slowed down.

"I'm sorry baby. I'll try to slow down when you're in here. I love speed. It excites me, but...I also don't want to scare you away Chessie." 

Chester sighed softly, melting in his seat. Chris was a sweet talker, He knew just what to say to make everything better. He was rough and tough but he had a tender, sensitive side he only let out when Chester was around. The driver reached over and turned the radio on, then he turned a knob until plush by the stone temple pilots played softly through the speakers. The young blonde perked up and clapped excidetly.

"Oh my gosh! I love this song!"

Chris turned and chuckled at how adorable the boy could be sometimes. His dark brown eyes twinkled while he sang along passionately, using one of his pencils as a microphone. Chris drove peacefully while his sweetheart loudly serenaded him all the way to their destination. He enjoyed his boyish whispers and his lion roar like screams. Chris pulled in smoothly in front of Chester's house and rested both arms on his stearing wheel. He blankly stared through his windshield with a heavy heart.   
The blonde turned to look at him and frowned slightly. Both men somberly realized that this was the end of their ride together. The green eyed man kept his eyes straight ahead, his vision suddenly became blurred with a few tears. I miss him already. I'm not going to cry. Fuck Chris! Pull it together! He mentally slapped himself and put on his most charming smile for the blonde.

"I'll see you soon baby. I love you. Good luck with that song."

Chester threw himself into his lover's arms and hugged him tightly, smelling his cologne. He lingered there for a full minute trying to keep his masculine scent in his memory, for when he missed him. Chris closed his eyes enjoying the sweet innocent display of affection from Chester. He held him close and tangled his long calloused fingers in his soft blonde curls, then lightly massaged his scalp. The older man inhaled the naturally sweet scent of his hair and kissed his forehead. They pulled apart far enough to search and find each others lips. Both men hummed against the attentive kiss then finally pulled apart. Chester looked down timidly and pulled out a small yellow piece of paper from his bag.

"Here, in case you want to talk. You know...cause...we're...we're...a couple."

The blonde's cheeks turned bright red as his partner took the paper, and saw a his phone number neatly written in sharpie. Chris smiled coyly, taking out his brown leather wallet that was chained to his denim pants. He chuckled, carefully placing the yellow paper in his wallet before stuffing it back into his back pocket. With his emerald green eyes on his lover, he reached in the back seat and retrieved his well worn brown leather jacket and set it on Chester's lap.

"This is for you to hold when you miss me."

Chester swapped his messenger bag for the little piece of Chris that was staying home with him, until next time. He held it close and squeeze it close to his chest before climbing out of his boyfriend's car. He held the sacred leather jacket and his messenger bag close, walking backwards for a few steps. He made sure Chris was looking at him then mouthed the words "I love you" and blew a kiss. Chris's eyes were half closed as he casted a tender glance at his one and only. He lifted his arm then made a fist catching the kiss in mid air. His hand touched his chest then turned the key of his car. Chester walked closer to his front door, and heard the rubber of the muscle car screech as his lover drove away. And like last time he'd stayed over at Chris' Rob opened the door.  
He spotted a scowl that very slowly turned into a smile. Rob had his drum sticks in one giant hand. Chester glanced at the coffee table in the living room and saw his drum pad on it by a bag of chips.

"H..hey Ches. Are you okay? How have you been?"

Rob waited for the singer to walk through the front door before swinging it shut. Chester could tell something had been bothering him, but he was making an enormous effort to seem okay. He observed him slowly walk back to his spot on the couch and plopped down on it, defeated.

"I'm..better. I worked on a song at Chris house. Well, we worked on a song. I think you guys are going to love it...we have to show this to Jim afterwards."

The drummer got a few chips and shoved them in his mouth trying to eat his feelings , something he rarely did. He was beyond happy that Chester was back but the habit he recently picked up of disappearing for days, hurt. The last three days he tried to distract himself from his band mate's absence to no avail. The more he tried not to wonder where or what he was doing, the more he thought about it and it made him anxious. Munching on junk food with Joe became his pastime.

" sure, I'll give it a listen. That...Chris dude helped you? "

Rob asked, with a little more emphasis on the name of Chester's secret boyfriend. He shoved another fist full of chips into his mouth and sulked, earning a confused look from the singer.

"Ye...yeah. He's very talented. He came up with the melody all on his own. I think we should credit him in the album. You know? Just...as a thank you...for this one song."

Chester smiled feeling suddenly excited. He got closer and nudged his drummer trying to lighten him up. Rob looked over his shoulder and gave him a week smile. When Mike came into the living room and smacked his bubble gum loudly making Rob cringe.

"Credit who for what Chazzy?" 

The singer's smile disappeared, and he instinctively hugged his lover's leather jacket to soothe himself. He looked down at his feet and found himself terrified of speaking up. So he whispered instead.

"Chris...Cornell. He helped me with a song while I was gone." 

The blonde closed his eyes and involuntarily flinched when Mike got closer extending his hand in a beggar's fashion. He blew a bubble and popped it loudly again making Chester jump. The singer dug inside his messenger bag and pulled out a tape labeled "crawling". He carefully placed it on Mike's hand and the other quickly snatched it and folded his arms in front of his chest.

" Sure Chazzy. And if we ever go platinum give him all your cut while your at it. I founded, this band. I decide who does what and who gets credited. Don't forget that. "

Chester kept his eyes on the floor and nodded feeling his bottom lip curling down. Something told him Mike was going to destroy the tape, and all the hard work he and Chris had put into the song was going to be for nothing. Mike popped his gum again getting dangerously closer to the singer.

"I'm gonna go listen to this, and if it's good we're taking it to Jim. There's a slim fast in the fridge with your name on it."

The blonde nodded holding back a sob. Rob looked over his shoulder when he heard Chester sniffle quietly along with the slamming of the door to Mike's room. He silently watched the blonde put his belongings down, and make his way to the nearly empty fridge. It didn't take long for him to find a single can of slim fast next to a half empty box of Chinese take out, and a lonely looking slice of pizza wrapped in plastic wrap. The rest of the fridge was vacant and Chester frowned remembering Chris' luxurious kitchen and his delicious food.   
Rob finally dropped the act of Jealous secret admirer and got up from his seat slowly walking towards the singer.

"Ches...I'm...I'm sorry. Mike can be a douche sometimes. When he's like that I just hope he really knows what he's doing, and that whatever he does pays off in the end. I don't...I don't like him either. We're not friends...never were. I just work for him. Try to look at this for what it is. A job."

Chester took the slim fast out and his breath hitched. He sobbed silently giving the drummer his back. He leaned against the fridge pressing his forehead against the door. Rob hated seeing Mike constantly hurt Chester. It made him want to snap and call it quits. He'd stayed up a few nights thinking of telling Chester how he felt, and running away together. But he couldn't. What if Chester didn't see him that way. He had confessed he was gay, but he had a wife for Christ sake. Why is this so complicated?   
Rob moved a little closer and raised his arms, ready to hug him from behind. When Mike's stupid voice shattered his opportunity to hold Chester. He squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled, frustrated.

"CHESTER! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!"

The singer wiped his tears and glanced at the tall downhearted drummer who was frozen behind him.

" I gotta go...Mike's gonna be mad for sure. T..thanks for the talk Robbie. "

Chester quickly walked by a frustrated Rob and made his way down the hall until he got to Mike's room. He stood outside and didn't come in until the emcee waved him inside. Chester tip toed into the room and looked at Mike who gave him his back. He sat in front of a desktop computer that was hooked up to some speakers and a keyboard. The room was of average size and had a full bed without a box spring or a head board in the middle of the room. It was well made with red silk sheets that were printed with small black cranes. The walls were covered in some traditional Japanese art and anime posters.   
There was a night stand with a round origami lantern perched on the top. Next to the night stand a bookshelf with about fifty books in various subjects and dozens of transformer action figures. Everything was illuminated by a blood red light, that gave everything either a romantic look or an eerie feel. Depending on who looked inside. It was a Japanese teen boy's dream come true.

"Shut and lock the door behind you Chazzy."

The emcee commanded the singer, still giving him his back and rapidly clicked his mouse. Chester did as he was told and stood there awkwardly looking at his surroundings. Waiting to get a beating from the emcee.

"I. Love the song. It's fantastic. A true work of art. We'll credit Chris as you suggested."

Chester's head shot up and a huge grin appeared on his face. Suddenly realizing that Mike wouldn't beat him and that he loved his work.

"R...r..really?"

Mike spun around in his chair and looked at Chester from head to toe. Undressing him with his eyes.

" the best part of that song, is the sounds you make when you cum"

Chester's smile faded and was replaced with a look of pure horror. His eyes were wide and his heart began to thump faster.

"W...w..w..what?

The emcee chuckled and licked his lips staring at the singer who began to breathe rapidly. The room was spinning and he found himself at a loss for words. His eyes bounced nervously around the room searching for something to comfort him. He squeezed his eyes shut hoping that when he opened them again this would all be a bad dream. He opened them and blinked several times looking down at his hands in disbelief. I'm denial. This isn't real.

" I guess...Chris forgot to stop recording before he sucked your dick and 'took it to the bedroom'. It....would be a real shame if...Samantha found out. That you're cheating on her. With a man."

Chester began to sob into his palms. No! I'm fucked! What am I going to do!?

"P...please Mike...please... Don't tell Sam...please. I'll do anything, please. I'll work on more songs as long as you want me to...you can...you can...h..h..hit me when...you're mad. T..take it out on me."

Mike watched Chester's knees buckle under his weight then crash into the floor with a loud thump. He cried, scared, and desperate for redemption . The emcee cocked one of his brows and smirked at Chester's crying form.

"Tell you what Chazzy. If you kiss me, hold my hand, snuggle with me at night, and let me make sweet love to that sexy little body of yours...No one will ever know. I'll never tell Sam, or the world you're gay and fucked Chris Cornell. But, you have to do whatever I want."

Chester pulled himself into a ball and sobbed inconsolably into his knees. If he didn't give into Mike's perverse desires his worst fears would become a reality. He would singlehandedly ruin his marriage and possibly end Chris' career. What the fuck have I done? I ruin everything!

"Come on baby...what do you say? It won't hurt. I'll make it feel so good you'll be begging me for more." 

The sobbing singer looked up from his knees and his young face was damp with tears. He stared helplessly at the emcee who sat there patiently waiting for his response.

"I...I don't have a choice do I?"

The emcee looked thoughtfully into space and licked his lips in feigned frustration .

"Um...no. Not if you want to keep your little affair with Chris a secret."

Mike witnessed Chester break under the pressure and nod slowly. His tears never stopped falling as he spoke.

"Ok...ok...I'll Do it"

The emcee laughed with Joy and looked over his shoulder at the computer. Then back at Chester who shook as he continued to cry. He chewed his gum, lustfully eyeing the singer on the floor. I can't wait to be inside of him. I'm going to fill him up like a little snack cake.

"Everything will be alright Chazzy. Give me a few minutes to re-record the actual song on another tape, and I'll keep the original one close by. Just in case you decide to go back on your word. Do. Everything. I. Tell. You. Got it Chazzy?"

Chester nodded still crying curled up in a ball on the floor. To say he was afraid was an understatement . He felt ashamed, guilty, and just flat out stupid for putting himself in this situation. He had be raped multiple times for years in the past, and it had left him with painfully horrific memories. To this day there were so many monsters under his bed he never chased away. So much pain and suffering that had gone unprocessed, and now he was about to get violated again. By his band mate for God knows how long. I knew this would happen. I'm so stupid. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have kissed Chris. Mike's gonna rape me and it's all my fault.

" baby...? Hey...I'm talking to you Chazzy. "

The singer looked up trembling feeling like he was going to be sick. He'd stop breathing a couple of times during his inner monologue and it made him dizzy.

"W..what is it m...Mike?"

Mike looked down at his own lap then tapped it a couple of times.

"Come here baby, sit on my lap."

Chester struggled to get up. He wobbled around like a newborn baby dear getting up to walk for the first time. His frail body slowly carried him over to Mike until he was standing in between his legs. He squat down until his butt touched Mike's lap and the waterworks started again. He shook and felt like he was going to pee on himself from the intense fear. Mike sensed the fear and gently coiled his arms around the singer's waist.

"I'm not going to hurt you Chazzy. Trust me. Nothing is going to hurt."

Mike shifted around in the chair with Chester on his lap who was still sobbing quietly. He looked at his computer screen and clicked on the mouse a few times. Then typed something short with one hand, while the other stroked Chester's hip. He continued to chew his gum and leaned against Chester's arm sniffing him like a shark smelling his prey.

"You smell so good. I've always liked your scent. It's so...sexy."

His hands traveled up and down Chester's thighs, then up his spine all the way up to the back of his neck. He moaned quietly, but loud enough for Chester to hear him. The singer was shaking knowing what was about to happen. He shut his eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't there. He tried to picture Chris instead, but was unable to when Mike readjusted him on his lap. So that now he was sitting on the emcee's engorged erection. 

"Let's play a little while the computer does it's thing. Pull your pants down...slowly."

Mike readjusted himself and spread his legs wide on the office chair while Chester obeyed his heart's desire. He licked his lips watching the blonde slowly reveal his pasty white behind. Fuck, he's so hot. I just want to eat his ass. Chester looked down in shame and whimpered anticipating the pain. The emcee quickly took his throbbing erection out of his white track suit pants and smirked excitedly.

" Good boy. Now...spread your cheeks and sit on my cock, just don't put it in yet. I want to hotdog you for a while. "

Chester obeyed reminding himself that he was doing this to save Chris' career, and his own marriage. He sat down on Mike's hot furry genitals and cringed, throwing up a little in his mouth. He spread his cheeks wide enough so that Mike's cock was right against his tender butthole, lengthwise. Immediately after he did this Mike gripped him by his bony hips and began to rub up against his pucker in a sensual manner.  
The blonde continued to shake, feeling vomit slowly make it's way up to his mouth. He had no choice but to swallow it again so that he could allow himself to cry peacefully. He brought his palms up to his face and cried more, feeling Mike's sticky precum spreading in between his cheeks. He kept his eyes shut wanting to disappear. When he suddenly felt the emcee wrap a hand around his neck, and pulled him back so that his backside was pressing against Mike's chest. 

"Fuck you're so hot baby. Hmmm so soft, and warm."

Mike pressed his lips to Chester's shoulder, and began to drag his tongue up and down his neck while he groped him. His hands squeezed Chester's hip bones as he pulled him down tighter on top of his moist erection. The emcee moaned then gently pushed the blonde off of him.

" bend over and spread those perky cheeks. I want to see your asshole. "

Chester obeyed once more, feeling his stomach flip. Hot tears continuously rolled down his face. He slowly bent over and hesitantly parted his cheeks revealing a candy pink pucker surrounded by a strip of light brown pubes. Mike licked his lips and parted the singer's cheeks further inspecting and admiring his most intimate area.

"It's so pink and pretty. I'll lube you up real good before we do anything baby. I don't want to tear you. You're far too precious. Like I said...it won't hurt." 

He sucked in his index finger coating it in his spit, lightly stroking himself with the other hand.

"Keep spreading those beautiful cheeks Chazzy. I'm going to stick a finger in there. Get a little taste of what I'll be having for dinner."

Chester shut his eyes and cried a little louder at the thought of having Mike inside of him. He turned his head and bit the fabric from his tee shirt bracing himself for Mike's finger. He jumped at the feeling of Miles cold digit against his rectum and whimpered. Mike moaned softly at the sensation of the singer's tightness gripping his finger. He pushed it all the way inside then quickly added a second finger. He smirked at the singer's whimpers of discomfort, and just when he was going to begin pumping his fingers in and out of his victim there was a loud knock on the door.

"Hey...Jim wants to know Ches has that song ready. He's on the phone."

The blonde had never been happier to hear Rob's voice. Mike swiftly got to his feet and covered Chester's mouth with his free hand, but kept probing him with the other causing the singer to make muffled sounds against his hand. His cock twitched and he felt a little rush knowing that he was doing something disgusting and degrading to the blonde. He smirked at Chester's crying and poor attempts of pulling back, away from his probing fingers. Mike turned his head and shouted at the direction of the door.

"Yeah it's ready. Just talking a few things over. Tell him we'll be there in twenty."

"Ok!"

Chester whined as he heard Rob's footsteps slowly walk away from Mike's door. The emcee removed his hand from the blonde's mouth, and withdrew his fingers from his behind. Chester winced as he continued to cry and slowly pulled his pants back up, averting his eyes from Mike. The emcee tucked his member back in his pants and took a cassette tape from his computer desk, stuffing it in his pant pocket. Chester cowered in fear as the emcee got closer and pinched his chin, tugging his lower lip. He pressed his lips against Chester's giving him a bruising kiss then pulled back.

"We'll continue this later. Baby."


	16. Libérame

"Okay guys so just four more songs and we're done with Hybrid Theory. Fucking Rad!"

Mike grinned excitedly at everyone around the couch while he took out burgers out of a paper bag and passed them around. The meeting with Jim, their manager had gone great. He knew the guys would be successful but suggested they changed the name of the band to something a little more marketable. That was the next task for the week to come and the guys were more than happy to pitch in All their ideas. Everyone clapped, cheered, and smiled at each other happily. Everyone, but Chester. He curled up in a ball on the couch and chewed on his fingernails staring into another dimension, invisible to the others.  
Each band member was paired up with their burger while Chester just stared at his own on the coffee table in front of him. Everyone was ravenously hungry and wasted no time in tearing the paper off their sandwitches. Joe, especially took two large bites of his double cheese burger and a mouth full of mountain dew. Rob bit into his veggie burger and observed Chester, who sat next to him while everyone else buzzed in conversation. He chewed slowly, noticing the singer's red puffy eyes and the purple sickly looking rings around them.

"Ches?..."

The drummer called out quietly swallowing his food. 

"Ches?..."

The singer kept a blank stare on the coffee table still anxiously chewing on his fingernails.

"Chester?..."

His full name made him slightly flinch and look up at Rob who stared at him with concern. The singer felt the need to suddenly run and hide and found himself unable to look at Rob in the eye. He might figure it out. He knows. Everyone in this room knows. They know and they laugh when I'm not around. I'm a joke, and a liar. Why is he staring at me like that? No...go away.

"What's wrong? Aren't you hungry?

Chester gave Rob a scared look and shook his head quickly. His eyes welled with tears as his thoughts mocked him. The memory of Mike touching him replayed over and over again in his head. The ghost of his repulsive touch lingered in his skin. 

"Eww...eww"

Rob raised his brows and watched Chester cover his mouth with both hands, and jump off the couch. When he quickly made a run for the restroom everyone else's eyes followed him. They sat quietly and they all winced in unison when their singer's regurgitating sounds traveled to the living room.

"I think Chester's getting sick again."

Dave spoke up and put his burger down. Glancing in the direction of the restroom he put both hands on his lap and prepared himself to get up when Rob beat him to it.

" I'll go check on him. See if he needs something. "

Dave nodded and turned to look at the rest of the guys who continued with their meals. He stared at Mike who seemed particularly unphaced by the fact that their singer could be sick again and glared at him in disgust. How can he be eating so peacefully at a time like this?

Rob made his way to the the restroom and was met with a locked door. He could hear the blonde still throwing up then crying. The gentle giant pressed his ear to the door and heard the singer mumbling something to himself then sniffed. Rob was hesitant before gently knocking on the door.

"Ches...May I come in?"

Chester sniffed and Rob could hear him choking on his pain. He's not sick. Something wrong. He knocked again and heard the blonde shuffling around behind the door, then the doorknob wobbled catching Rob's attention. He turned the knob and gently pushed the door open to see the singer curled up into a tight ball against the wall, in front of the toilet. Rob keeled on the floor beside him and placed a warm hand on his shoulder. The blonde looked up showing his puffed red eyes at the drummer. 

"Ches, What's going on? You're not getting sick again, are you?"

The blonde shook his head side to side and rubbed his eyes. They were sore and he was worn out from all the stress, the fear, and all the crying. His chest hurt whenever he took a deep breath and his body felt too heavy to carry around. He looked up at Rob. Sweet, gentle, loving Rob, and though about telling him the truth. I can't. I'll sabotage everyone's career. No one will believe me. I can't. I can...I can tell him a truth, but not THE truth. 

"I'll tell you, but...not here."

Rob looked at him attentively and nodded his head, understanding that something serious was troubling the singer. He looked around the bathroom and thought of a good place to talk to him this late at night.

"Ches, it's past midnight where do you want to go?"

Chester looked up at him wiping his nose with the back of his hand. 

"Lincoln Park..."

Rob's eyes darted around, and as if on cue Joe gave a small knock on the door that was already wide open.

"Hey...can I come in? 

The drummer nodded and the she came in and smiled at the singer who was sitting on the floor. He looked at Rob then looked back at the singer who looked like hell.

" hey Chaz. What's going on? Is your stomach giving you problems again? "

Chester's mouth tugged down and he shook his head then Rob spoke on his behalf.

"Ches needed to talk to me, and I was wondering if we could borrow your car. We're going to Lincoln park for a little while."

The Deejay nodded digging into the deep pockets of his baggy pants. He handed the keys to Rob along with a warm smile. Then turned to look at Chester before leaving the restroom.

"You guys be careful, and I hope you feel better Chaz. I'm gonna go play some video games then call it a night."

Rob helped Chester up and they both headed outside in silence. The night was dark and Rob saw the singer shiver with a light breeze that greeted them before they entered Joe's car. After readjusting the seat to his height and checking all the mirrors Rob was off. He drove carefully through the half empty streets of L.A wondering what Chester wanted to talk about. He was normally happy, or at least he seemed like it. The whole day however his mind seemed elsewhere. Every time he turned to look at him he was either crying, bitting his nails, or in a catatonic state.  
He kept his eyes on the road and suddenly remembered how scared Chester looked after he'd left Mike's room that afternoon. Is Mike still hurting him? Is he still beating him? What the he'll is going on? He flicked a little lever setting off the turn signal then turned the wheel. His thoughts had kept him so busy he didn't even realize they had just arrived. He had driven there instinctively from all the previous times he'd dropped off the singer there. He came to a halt and parked a car by a tree. After turning everything off he sat there quietly, then looked over at the blonde who also sat there wordlessly. Chester looked up ahead of him and took a deep breath.

"Let's sit by the lake."

Rob nodded and exited Joe's car along with the blonde. They walked a few steps forward until a large lake appeared. The moonlight shined it's blue light on the perfect waves that rocked from side to side. There were a few trees and a couple of ducks that floated peacefully on the surface of the water. Both Rob and Chester stood by the edge of it.

"What did you want to tell me Ches? What's going on?

Chester squeezed his eyes shut and balled up both hands into tight fists. He searched within himself until he found the courage he needed to finally speak up.

" I...I was raped when I was little. For years. Over and over again, by the...The same monster. "

Rob snapped his head in the singer's direction giving him a startled look. He blinked cluelessly, unsure of what to say. Chester kept his eyes shut. Kept trembling, but continued to tell Rob his story.

"He was twelve, and I was seven. He was a neighborhood kid who wanted to play with me, and I thought 'cool this older kid wants to be my friend '. Both of my parents worked a lot, which meant...I was alone for most of the day. It started out fine. He'd come over and play for a while. Then one day he...he asked if he could see me naked. Something didn't feel right but, being a stupid kid I...I took my clothes off anyway. "

Chester stopped and Rob could hear his voice begin to break. The drummer 's brows furrowed and he felt his heart sink for his friend.

"Ches...you were just an innocent kid. Not stupid. "

The blonde looked down as his eyes welled with tears again. He disregarded Rob's statement and went on.

" Then, the next time he came over, he asked to see me naked again. Only this time he touched my...my..parts. His hands were so clammy and dirty. After the second time he asked for the usual but then bent me over and...and...he took his thing out. He raped me. I cried so much. It hurt really bad, and I was so sore I couldn't even walk right for the next two days. It was crazy. It all happened so fast. It escalated from a touchy, curious, 'what does this thing do?' into full-on, crazy violations. I was getting beaten up and being forced to do things I didn't want to do. It went on until I turned thirteen. Then I guess he just lost interest in me. It destroyed my self-confidence. I've suffered in silence all these years, fearing what would happen if I ever told anyone. I didn't want people to think I was gay or that I was lying. It was a horrible experience. There's not a day that goes by when... I don't replay... the events in my head. "

Chester broke down and cried into his palms, then crumbled under his weight and the sadness he'd been holding on to for years. His knees crashed against the soft grass, alarming Rob who quickly knelt down beside him and began to rub his back.

"Hey Ches...it's ok. Look at me...please."

The blonde continued to cry finally letting himself feel all pain in front of someone else. Finally letting himself be vulnerable. He hid his stare, ashamed to look at his gentle giant in the eye.

"It's killing me Rob! I can't do this anymore! I just can't!"

The blonde trembled while his tears fell like raindrops. Rob Sat on the soft grass effortlessly picking up the singer, and positioning him on his lap. He hushed him and pulled him into a tight embrace wanting to take all his pain away. It all suddenly made sense. The nail bitting, the dark lyrics, the odd secretive behavior. He would've never thought this was the hell Chester had been going through for so many years. To top it off when he started singing for the band, Mike was a complete piece of shit to him. He was sure that didn't help. If anything it probably made Ches' mental state even worse.  
Rob cradled the singer like an infant in his arms and gently rocked him back and forward while he lightly stroked his cheek. The blonde nuzzled Rob's chest and continued to cry. Until, eventually his crying dwindled down to quiet sobs. The drummer hushed him sothingly then Chester spoke up again.

"I'm afraid of it... ever happening again. What if someone else...rapes me? What if they hurt me?"

The drummer stopped his gentle rocking and cupped the singer's tear soaked cheek .

"What do you mean Ches? It won't happen again. I promise. As long as I'm around no one will hurt you.

The singer cuddled up to his drummer again and closed his eyes while pressing an ear to his chest. His breathing slowed down at the sound of Rob's heart beat.

"Ches, did you ever seek help for this? I mean, I understand it's hard to talk about. You seem...very distraught by it all, but...have you ever told anyone besides me?

Rob stroked Chester's groomed eyebrows causing him to open his eyes. They shared a moment of silence, then the blonde shook his head side to side.

"You and I are the only ones that know. I was... I am...scared. What if I can't ever get over this? What if I'm a lost cause, and no one can't help me. It's haunting. This follows me everywhere, and it's become a part of me. It's part of who I am...a...a..rape victim. "

The corners of Chester's mouth tugged down again and Rob felt a lump in forming in his own throat. Why did they hurt you like this Ches? To his surprise tears began to roll down his cheeks and were quickly absorbed by his fluffy goatee.

"Ches, you're not a victim. You hear me? You're a survivor. You're stronger than you realize, and we're going to get through this. When your head's attacking you, come find me. It doesn't matter if it's three in the morning, or if we're in the middle of recording. You come find me and we'll talk. Ok?"

Rob held Chester's head, close to his heart and stoked his cheek affectionately. He felt the urge to protect and cradle the blonde. The singer sobbed quietly and closed his eyes enjoying the drummer's warm embrace.

"Ok..."

He answered sleepily, exhausted from crying and being scared out of his mind all day. Rob continued to rock him softly and began to do something he never thought of ever doing for another grown man before. He hummed a soft lullaby and raked his extra long fingers through Chester's soft hair. Then lightly traced his well defined jaw line. The blonde seemed to really enjoy the giant's gentle caresses because before both knew it Chester's breath had slowed down and became deep. Rob's eyes traveled down to the singer's chest and he noticed it rose up and went back down steadily.

"Ches?"

He gingerly traced his groomed brows with a long finger and called his name again, but didn't get a response . Chester had fallen asleep in his arms. It was a bittersweet moment for Rob, who couldn't stop thinking about the secret the singer had told him. He found himself halving all sorts of conflicting emotions. The drummer knew for a fact now that the feelings he'd been harboring for the singer, had matured into something more. He'd never had feelings for anyone of the same sex, or someone with so much trauma in their past. A part of him wanted to kiss and be sexual with Chester, but another part wanted to help him heal and feel mentally stable. Now he felt even more confused than before. I want to make him feel safe. let him know he matters, but I also want touch him...kiss him. If I steal a kiss from him right now, I'd be just as low as the scum that raped him.  
He pinched the bridge of his nose conflicted. Frustrated, then looked at his watch. It read 2:30am. It was time to go, but he didn't want to wake the blonde who snored softly in his arms. He glanced down at Chester's angelic face with a thirst for the singer's thin lips and he traced their shape with his thumb. They were so soft and and kissable. He smiled, knowing that at the very least he could caress him while he slept peacefully. This was the only kind of affection he felt was ok to give to Chester. Only hugs, gentle strokes, and forehead kisses. I can live with that, for now. I wish I could tell you how I feel Ches. I wish we could be together.  
Rob sat there, admiring the singer's beauty then decided to stand up and head for the car. He easily picked up the blonde and carried him in a honeymoon fashion to the car that was near by. He felt so light in his arms and Rob was positive that if there was ever an emergency when Chester needed to be thrown over a wall, he'd be the one to do it. Once in front of the car, he threw him over his shoulder and opened the car door with one hand. The drummer maneuvered Chester's body and sat him on the passenger side. He looked at the blonde's face and saw that his mouth was agape. The blonde looked exhausted, so Rob pulled on the lever beside the seat and reclined it back so that he was laying down. He wrestled with the seatbelt and pulled it across the singer's torso to secure him in place. Wow, he could sleep though an earthquake. He's so tired.   
Rob shut the car door and walked around to get in through the driver's side and saw Chester's head roll with the slight movement of him opening the door. Once inside he looked behind him and spotted a Snorlax plush on the back seat of the car. He reached with one long arm, snatched it and delicately placed it by Chester's head. Using it as a makeshift pillow.

"Fucking Joe. Thank God for nerds." He laughed.

Once he got Chester ready he drove off and headed back home. He let his mind wonder off. He unintentionally pictured th terrible things that Chester went through and cringed. No matter how much he tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, they would just continue. What kind of sick fuck does those things to a child? The worst part is that it was a child doing it to another. 

"Oh my God..."

Rob whispered to himself as he came to a stop light. It seemed that the more time he spent thinking about it the more disturbing it all became. He pursed his lips and shook his head trying to shake the reocuring thoughts away and for a split second he was in Chester's shoes. He wasn't the one that went through the horrific events but it was almost impossible to chase away the mental picture of his bandmate, and friend getting brutally raped. Chester's story had mentally scarred him forever. He couldn't even begin to imagine how scared Chester must've felt during his childhood. The thoughts and feelings plagued him as he arrived at their house.

He turned the key on the ignition silencing the car's engine and sat there in silence, processing Chester's story again. Rob took a deep breath then exhaled massaging his temples with both hands, then turned to look at his band mate. The singer still slept peacefully and even had a little drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. I hope you at least find peace in your dreams Ches. Rob exited the car and walked over to the passenger side where the blonde was laying. He unbuckled him and gingerly removed him from the car. He was extra careful with the singer's head cradling it in the crook of his arm while he carried him back inside.  
All the lights inside were off, but the drummer still managed to find the singer's room without bumping into anything. He looked inside observing the emptiness of Chester's room. There was not much inside and his mattress was barren of pillows or sheets. He frowned at the cold and unwelcoming bed. Chester deserved better. The drummer placed his band mate on the mattress, and he immediately shivered and rolled over into a fetal position. Rob looked around and searched for something he could use as a pillow. He walked around to the other side of the bed and was relieved to find an actual pillow on the floor, along with a black fleece blanket. He carefully lifted Chester's head to shove the pillow under it, then draped the blanket over him. Rob watched the blonde sleep for a few minutes then leaned forward with his eyes closed. He touched Chester's forehead with nose, inhaling his naturally sweet musk. Then pressed his lips on the space between his eyes. He whispered goodnight into the silent darkness of the room, and walked away.


	17. Where did you sleep last night?

Mike sat in his room in front of his computer. The screen was black and he stared blankly at it while he toyed with the blackmail tape in one hand. He turned his head to see his bed where he had spent the night alone, and frowned. So far Chester hadn't kept his end of the deal, and it angered him but it also broke his heart. He winced at the thought of Chazzy with another man and slammed his fist angrily on his wooden desk. Mike carelessly tossed the cassette tape over the keyboard and stormed out of his room.  
As he marched down the hallway to Chester's room, he thought of the different ways he would torment the singer that day. _I'll make him sit on that dildo, have him suck my cock. That'll teach him not to cross me._ Without even knocking on the door Mike swung it open and stomped inside. Balling both his fists, ready to hurt the blonde. Mike hesitated and glared at Chester who slept peacefully on his bed. He wanted to hurt him so badly. _I should hit him right on his fucking mouth right now. I hate his ugly... stupid looking face._  
Angry tears blurred his vision and he launched himself with wringing hands. He pushed both of his thumbs into Chester's trachea and shook him violently. The blonde's eyes shot open and his pale face began to turn red. Mike squeezed his hands around his throat tighter then finally slapped him hard across the face for good measure.

"Why didn't you come to bed last night huh!?"

He asked seeing red at this point. Chester trembled and held his bruised cheek with both hands. His eyes were fixated on the furious emcee who paced around kicking at anything that was on the floor.

"Y..y...you said wouldn't hurt me anymore...Mike."

Chester looked frightened and rubbed his cheek then his throat. He forgot how strong Mike was, especially when he was angry. He kept his glance down and saw that his legs were trembling.

" and you said you would kiss me, hold my hand, and cuddle with me at night. Oh and I still haven't fucked you. So it seems no one is getting what they wanted. "

The emcee was fuming, then for a split second the singer noticed the emcee's lips tug down as he gave him his back. _Is he crying?_ _Why is HE crying? He's not the one getting choked or smacked._

"I'm...I'm sorry..."

Mike raised his arm up and pointed in the direction of his room, still giving the blonde his back.

" Just go to my room get naked and get on the bed. Under the covers. You have one minute. "

The emcee sniffed and wiped the few tears away. Chester got off his old broken mattress and snatched his glasses from the mattress. He'd fallen asleep with them and had forgotten to remove them before bed the night before, so they had been tossed around all night carelessly. His hands shook as he placed the black, square rimmed glasses on his face. Then he promptly left his room in silence.   
Practically running to Mike's well furnished crimson layer. Once inside he quickly obeyed the emcee's wishes and stripped down to his bare skin and glasses. He couldn't contain his tears any longer and set them free while he got under the silky red covers.

"Ok. Ok...j...ju...just don't hurt me again."

He whispered under the covers trembling, and hugging himself. He feared getting beaten up by Mike especially before being raped. Chester felt his heart thumping quickly against his chest when he heard the bedroom door open again followed by slow footsteps. He began to hyperventilate when he heard a clicking noise on the doorknob letting him know they were both locked inside. He squeezed his eyes shut and his crying became louder when he felt the weight of Mike's body on the bed. It creaked then suddenly he felt the warmth of the emcee's nude body against his own.   
The emcee pressed himself against Chester's backside and gently caressed his milky white skin from top to bottom. Mike nuzzled the blonde's soft neck barely touching the skin with his lips. His fingertips slid down the singer's spine until he reached his protruding hip bones. He squeezed them wantonly, gripping Chester from them as if they were handles.  
For Chester the real terror started when Mike began to thrust his hips against his nude butt cheeks. He let out a whimper as he felt the emcee's semi erect member against his cleft. He shut he eyes and covered his own mouth trying to remain quiet, when the half Asian kissed the crook of his neck. Chester could feel his hot breath behind his ear, freezing him with fear.

"So...why Chris and not me, baby? Huh? What does he have that I don't ?"

The question caught Chester by surprise ceasing his tears for a second. He swallowed nervously as he looked down at Mike's right hand toying with one of his nipples. The emcee gave it a small pinch making the singer whimper.

"Answer me Chazzy. Why did you let him inside of you? Did he cum in there.?

Chester frowned unsure of what to say.

" because he...he..he's nice to me. He's never hi..hit me. He...He feeds me. "

Mike frowned then reached up from Chester's nipple in search of the singer's hand. Once he found it he held it enjoying its softness.

"You know...I wouldn't have to hit you if you weren't always so naughty. I can be nice too. I get you slim fasts, and even get you bottled water all the time. Did he cum inside you?"

Mike's hand gave Chester's a squeeze prompting the singer to answer his disturbingly intrusive question. The blonde cringed and shut his eyes, embarrassed.

"Y..yes."

The emcee felt heartache and his sudden let down soon turned to anger. _I was supposed to cum in you. No one else. You're mine! Mine chazzy!_ He reached down below Chester's waist and he gripped his flacid penis and began to stroke it rhythmically. The singer kept his eyes closed not wanting to remember anything that was about to happen to him, in the future. Mike kissed his shoulder lustfuly, leaving slobber behind every "kiss".   
He Simultaneously stroked the blonde's penis while he slid his erection up and down between Chester's soft butt cheeks. The singer trembled wishing he was somewhere else. Then felt something that terrified him but confused him more than anything. His member was slowly beginning to rise at the feeling of Mike's shaft between his cheeks.

"Mike..please don't...I don't like this. I'm not ready. Can we wait?Please don't hurt me."

The half Asian smiled gripping Chester's rock hard member then stroked it a little more vigorously. He licked his lips enjoying how hard he was making the blonde with his touch. Then noticed the gooey precum that oozed out of his prey. _I knew he liked me._ _He wants it._

" if you don't like it why are you so hard, baby?

Chester trembled and cried into his palms ashamed of how aroused Mike's perverted groping was making him. _Why is this happening? I don't like this._ _Ewww_ _._

"I...I don't know..please....s..s..stop.."

The blonde hid his face behind his hands, ashamed and confused. Mike took Chester's precum and examined it's sticky, stretchy texture between his thumb and middle finger. The emcee smiled bringing up the singer's precum under his nose, then dragged his middle finger across his tongue. Sampling Chester's essence.

" look at all this precum, So naughty. You know you like it Chazzy."

Mike continued to lick his fingers clean until there was no more cum to clean off. Chester tasted amazing, and he closed his eyes savoring the singer's delicious salted goo. _Mhmm I can't take it anymore. You're gonna be mine Chazzy._ He got his lips uncomfortably close to the singer making him yelp.

"Turn around I want to show you something."

Chester suddenly felt as if he weighted a thousand pounds and found it very difficult to simply turn around on the bed. He struggled against his own light weight and kept his eyes shut as he turned so that he was laying flat, facing up on Mike's bed. He flinched when he felt the silky sheets suddenly being pulled off him in one swift jerk. The cool air in the room gave him goosebumps making his stiff member twitch, and he felt cold and more vulnerable than before. The blonde felt a few hot tears escape along with Mike's weight shifting around in the bed. His top teeth clicked against his bottom teeth as he waited for the emcee to finally violate him. Then his voice echoed throughout the red room.

"First I gotta wear a condom, I don't want to leave any evidence in that nice tight hole of yours."

The singer removed his palms off his face, then slowly opened his eyes to the image of Mike on his knees right next to him. Chester watched horrified, at the horny emcee who rolled on a condom on his average sized member. He swallowed his fear and shook uncontrollably, watching Mike open the red bottle of poppi'n cherry lube. The emcee flipped the bottle upside down and squeezed a generous amount of lube on his penis.

"Then...I gotta lube it up so I won't hurt you Chazzy."

He stroked himself in a suggestive way. Making sure every drop of the candy scented lube covered the condom. Until he made it look like a bratwurst coated in slime.

"See? I can be nice too... It's nice and slick just for you baby. Just for your pleasure. "

Chester stared at the emcee in horror, realizing he began to crawl towards him with his bouncing lubed dong. The half Asian pressed his lips on the singer's, humming in pleasure. Chester kept his eyes open surprised at how soft and gentle Mike's lips were. The emcee ran his tongue across the blonde's thin lips, parting them in the process. His tongue entered the singer's mouth, and he delicately lapped the singer's velvety inside.   
Chester's breathing became steady his mind was screaming for someone, anyone to help him but his body simply laid there relaxed and ready. Mike was surprisingly gentle with his touch. _He even_ _lubed_ _himself up before...raping me. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe I should just let him get it over with. If I just sit still maybe it won't hurt that bad._  
Chester closed his eyes and tried his best to relax. He fought his body's natural response to put up a fight and felt Mike spread his legs, then his soft cheeks. There was a breeze on his pucker then suddenly the cool air was replaced with the warmth of the emcee's erection.

"I'm going to rock your world chazzy."

Mike rubbed the tip of his lubed penis against Chester's rosy pink butt hole.

" here we go... "

Chester suddenly began to panic again. He frowned and desperately pleaded the emcee for mercy. He put his hands up proactively, and tried to push Mike away.

"N..n..no Mike...w..wait. Wait...It's going to hurt! No! No! Please!"

The emcee simply shook his head and pressed his left hand over the singer's mouth to keep him quiet. He ignored the blonde's pleas and pushed the head of his penis inside his resisting victim. Moaning in pleasure.

"You're so tight Chazzy. Stay still. it won't hurt if you stay still"

Chester cried and screamed loudly against the determined  
emcee 's hand. There was a sharp stinging pain between his legs that shot throughout his body.

"I just have to get past the tip, then I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby."

The blonde trembled while his body screamed in agonizing pain. He prayed that anything, or anyone would stop Mike from penetrating him. Just when he was about to give up all hope there was a loud knock on the door _thump thump thump!_ Then he heard Rob's muffled voice behind the door. He was asking something, but Chester couldn't figure out what. The singer's red puffed eyes traveled from the edge of the bed back to Mike's face. He glared at the petrified blonde below him and carelessly pulled the tip of his penis out with a loud pop. Making Chester whimper into his stifling hand.

"Son of a bitch..."

He quickly got off the bed, and wrapped a himself in a red silk robe that was draped over his office chair. Chester instinctively covered himself with the silky sheets, thankful for Rob's knocking. He pulled them up passed his mouth and remained still. Eyeing the black embroidered dragon on the back of the emcee's robe. Mike turned and glared at him from where he stood.

"Be quiet. Roll over and pretend you're sleeping."

The singer quickly obeyed, fearing any repercussion that would come of his disobedience. He heard the emcee unlock the door then heard him speak.

"Sup Rob?

Rob gave Mike a casual look, then used his thumb to point down the general direction of the hallway.

" there's a call for Ches, It's Chris. I thought he might be in here...with...you...working...on...music. "

The drummer stared at the dressed down version of Mike, and thought it was bizarre for him to be walking around in his robe. Then couldn't help but glance over to the bed where a sleeping Chester layed. It didn't take much for the downhearted drummer to figure out what was happening. He stared at the familiar blonde curls from afar and felt his heart begin to sink. His chestnut eyes traveled down to his feet as he forced himself not to glance at the blonde anymore.

"I'm very sorry. I didn't realize I was...interrupting something."

Mike smiled and nudged the stoic drummer.

"What, oh no. We were just napping. Chazzy couldn't sleep last night and he came crying to me. Something about ghosts or hearing noises at night. Poor little fella. "

Mike looked over his shoulder feigning pity then turned to look back at Rob who seemed unconvinced. He stated at Chester on the bed and looked away again uncomfortably, after realizing he was naked under the sheets.

"Yeah...whatever. Chris is on the phone. See ya."

Rob walked away uncomfortable and heartbroken. He felt something heavy suddenly reside in his chest, and as he walked away he heard Mike's voice again.

"Thank you! He'll be there in a minute!"

The drummer cringed at the sound of his voice and wanted nothing but to break something at that moment. He hurried into the kitchen and put the receiver up to his face.

"He's on his way. He was just...working on some stuff with Mike."

Rob Sat the receiver back on the counter and paced around furiously. _Of course, First, last, and only man I'll ever have feelings for and he falls for the wrong person. They've done it already. They've had sex. Why ches!? Why? Why out of all people, Mike!? He hates you! What the hell was I thinking? He's married and fucking around with that....that....that douche!_

"Ughh"

He winced, and smacked his forehead with an open palm in frustration. Meanwhile, in Mike's red room Chester quickly dressed himself all over again. He was about to take off running when Mike gripped him by his arm.

"We were napping. Nothing else. You tell anyone, and you'll be very sorry Chazzy. Got it?"

Chester swallowed a lump in his throat but nodded quickly, agreeing with Mike. As he fled the room and jogged to the kitchen where the phone was, he felt a soreness in his pucker. It hurt a little with each step, but was relieved that the pervert hadn't penetrated him all the way. He was panicky and so distracted from his thoughts he didn't realize he was about to run into Rob's back.

"Whoa...hey Ches! Watch where you're going!"

The singer bumped into the drummer's back, and just as Rob turned Chester tripped and fell backwards landing right on his sore behind.

"Ow ow....ow that really hurt"

The singer winced and folded over in pain on the floor. Even though Rob was upset and extremely jealous, he quietly helped the blonde up. He gave him a judging look and left the kitchen disgusted by the way his own mind tainted him. He pictured Chester getting mounted by Mike and felt his lunch come up. _Gross._

Chester finally picked up the receiver, after what seemed like ages.

"H..hello?"

The blonde spoke, frightened and nervous for some reason.

"Hi baby, how are you? Did your guys like the song? How was that meeting?"

Chester could hear the older man's smile through the phone, and was thankful he didn't have to feign one back. It had barely been a day, but with Mike being a creep and all the stress he was being put under. It felt like a week since the last time he spoke to Chris. A little part of him broke as he remembered his perverted band mate using their love making sounds as his personal porn tape He frowned knowing he had to lie to Chris and pretend that everything had been alright.

"I'm great. The guys loved the song, especially Jim. Now we're only four songs away from finishing the album. They're crediting you."

Chris chuckled and Chester could hear the accidental plucking of a guitar in the background.

"What!? No baby, that's okay. It's your work. You deserve this honey. You don't need to credit me."

Chester frowned feeling terrible, knowing there was a possibility of their relationship going public. It would ruin Chris's career. It would ruin everything. Crediting him for "crawling"was the least he could do. At least he would be doing something right in the midst of this mess he created.

"Are you sure? You worked so hard Chris."

The blonde could hear his boyfriend chug something then he laughed.

"Nah, that wasn't hard work baby. That was just me having some fun. Hard work is what I've been working on for a few months now." He

Chester leaned against the kitchen counter, curious then smiled.

"What have you been working on? A solo album?

Chris chugged some more on the other end and smacked his lips. The blonde pictured him drinking from a bottle again and his smile grew wider.

" No. I've just been writing songs for another band...in the future. I want to find a group of guys that will work with me. I uh...I wrote a song for you Chessie. Would you like to listen to it? "

The blonde blushed and tangled his index finger on the loops of the cord. He felt like a silly school girl with a crush and giggled before saying yes. He closed his eyes and could hear Chris on the other end of the line, tuning his guitar.

"This is called, Be yourself. I started writing it after the first time we met. I hope you like it."

Chester kept his eyes closed and let the sound of Chris' voice take him far away from there. Music played through the receiver making Chester feel as if he was being wrapped in pure love. He had started his day in a panic, with abuse but he was sure that this moment with Chris would be the highlight of his whole day. He smiled with tears in his eyes as he heard Chris, sing the following line.

"Don't lose any sleep tonight, I'm sure everything will end up all right"

Chester's heart fluttered at the memory of Chris and himself at Jim's burgers. Those were the words he'd told him that night. He remembered the kindness Chris always treated him with, and the reassurance the older man gave him when he felt insecure. He felt like Chris's phone call was a ray of sunshine amidst a thunderstorm.


	18. Blurry

*One week later*

Mike licked his lips enjoying the softness of Chester's skin. His fingertips traced his spine and he immediately felt an erection coming on. To the singer's misfortune, they had been spooning in the nude together every night for a whole week. Every night and sometimes even the next morning the emcee would try to have his way with the singer. He would force him to heavy make out sessions, oral sex, and even had him model lingerie for him while he masturbated. However he still hadn't penetrated him, but the threat of it set Chester's mind on edge. Every day he got closer. Every day he became more and more persistent, but Just when he was about to rape the troubled singer something would always stop the emcee.   
Chester laid there. Still, waiting like he had done every morning for the emcee to hurt him. Part of him hoped that he would just get it over with, so the worry of it happening would just disappear. Just when a few years rolled down past the corner of one of his eyes and into the pillow he felt the bed begin to rock back and forward rhythmically. Then a few seconds later he heard a few grunts from the emcee. Wet noises echoed throughout the room giving the singer an idea of what the emcee was doing. He suddenly felt Mike's rough hand on his shoulder.

" Get on your knees on the floor. Like last time. Remember? "

Chester nodded, disgusted but obeyed. He stood up from the bed and got on his knees, then sat on his heels with his head held high and his eyes closed. He could hear Mike's feet quickly shuffling towards him then the musky intimate smell of the emcee's genitals hit his nose. Mike gently stroked his cheek and gave him the usual instruction.

"Open your mouth nice and wide for me Chazzy."

Chester obeyed and prepared himself for the emcee's privates. His mind drifted away as Mike pushed his engorged erection passed his thin lips. Chester tried to ignore the sensation and kept his eyes closed and pictured Chris. He hadn't seen him in a week, but had been keeping in touch over the phone. He thought of Chris ' abs, his eyes, and his sexy tanned skin. That was enough to persuade him to bob his head and take all of the emcee in his mouth. Chester sucked, licked, and swirled his tongue around Mike's penis, all in Chris' name. He must've been doing a good job, because in less than five minutes Mike roughly grabbed him by his blonde curls and pulled him closer to his groin. He moaned loudly rubbing Chester's face against his pubic hair and shoot his hot, pungent, and bitter seed inside the singer's mouth with a grunt.

"Yeah baby, swallow all of it. You're so fucking dirty. Eat my cum chazzy..."

Mike tugged roughly on Chester's hair, and pushed all of himself inside until he made the singer gag. The blonde coughed and gagged loudly, dribbling out all the cum past his chin and into his bare chest. The emcee bit his lower lip and stroked himself one last time. He squeezed the tip of his penis to milk out one last drop of cum. Then flashed a grin down at the humiliated singer and rubbed his penis on the blonde's cheek, smearing it with his sticky essence.

The emcee took a few steps back to admire his twisted work of art, and licked his lips lustfully as he saw a single tear roll down Chester's face.

"I didn't have time to squeeze into your tight ass this morning, but tonight after everyone's asleep. I'm going to take you and finally make you mine. it's gonna feel so good baby. I can't wait.

The emcee got closer to the blonde that looked down in shame. He ran his thumb over Chester's lower lip smearing his semen a little more.

"You're really good with your mouth baby. Go on...go get cleaned up. Oh and wear that cute lacy black thong I got you, the whole day.

Chester began to tear up and quickly re-dressed himself in what he wore the night before. He shivered and gagged realizing he was about to leave Mike's room covered in his cum. _It's going to be okay, I'll just run back to my room, take a shower, and wear clean clothes. No one will know. No one will see me. Just run to your room._  
The singer scurried to the door and left quickly, but quietly. Repeating what he had told himself a few seconds before. When he saw Rob turn the corner on the hallway towards the room he shared with Dave. The singer shuffled his feet as he walked backwards then tripped thumping against the floor. He quickly got Rob's attention and the drummer rushed to his aid.

"Oh my God Ches! Watch where you're going. You've been kind of clumsy lately don't you...think?"

Rob reached over offering his hand to the fallen singer when he noticed thick white goo all over his face. Chester looked down but took his hand to help himself up anyway. He kept his eyes on the floor then whispered an apology. He stood there frozen and embarrassed. Rob looked down at him keeping his stare fixated on his shiny face. _Is that...spunk? Oh my God...are you kidding me!?_ _what the fuck Chester?_

"Ches...you um..you got stuff all over your face. Here..."

The drummer removed the napkin from around his grilled cheese sandwich and handed it to the singer. Who hanged his head humiliated. Chester took the napkin and quietly thanked him, then rushed passed him towards his own room and slammed the door shut behind him. Rob stood in the hallway confused, grossed out and upset. He closed his eyes and exhaled loudly heading towards his room. _I can't believe he's fucking Mike._ He pushed the door open and quickly glanced at Dave who was playing something on his game boy on their bed. He had the tiny console about a foot away from his face and was engrossed in it, happily smiling whenever it made a little bleep noise. Rob sat at the foot of the bed and gently placed the sandwich on the spot next to him. He kept to himself with about one hundred thoughts circling his mind.  
 _Why Mike? Why not me? I treat him right. I would never cum on his face and just send him out like that to get seen by everyone. Why Chester? Why?_

_"_ Helloooooo? Earth to Rob? I was asking you a question."

The redhead was suddenly standing next to Rob and waved his game boy in front of the daydreaming drummers face. Rob looked up dowheartedly. Dave could see that something troubled the drummer and sat on the empty spot next to him.

"I was asking you...what was wrong?"

Rob ran a large hand through his buzzed hair and exhaled. He didn't even know where to begin. He wanted to tell Dave but didn't want to spill Chester's secret either, so he played it safe by answering the bassist's question with another.

"Have you noticed anything different about Chester this week?"

The redhead furrowed his brows and licked his lips pensively.

"Y..yeah. He's been spending the night with Mike...like...all week. Sometimes when you're sleeping I can sort of...well...um...hear Mike moan. Like...they're...doing stuff."

Rob cringed and looked down not wanting to imagine the heartbreaking sight. Dave's words confirmed what he thought was happening and it hurt. His vision began to blur with tears but he shook his head then quickly found his composure again. Dave looked at him with a hint of pity and nudged him.

"Hey...I'm sorry man. I know you like him, but you asked."

The drummer simply nodded. Then turned his head and give the redhead a glare shaking his head.

" I don't like him that way. He's just out singer and... "

"Oh come Rob! Seriously? You don't like him that way? If that's the case why do look like someone shat in your cereal because he's sleeping with Mike?"

Dave gave Rob a puzzled look an tossed his game boy over his shoulder. The drummer half smiled and blushed but kept quiet.

" I've seen the way you look at him. You've rescued him from Mike that one time at the studio, you keep tabs on him and often ask if he's okay. It's obvious Rob. You have feelings for him. "

Rob chuckled bitterly and clasped his hands leaning forward. His elbows rested on his knees.

"I didn't know It was that obvious. I don't get it. I don't even like men, but Chester is just...special. I think. I think I love him and it hurts that he doesn't see it. It hurts that I can't be with him"

Dave crossed his legs and raised his brows talking a deep breath.

"Maybe, just maybe. You need to tell him how you feel. I mean you're a lot nicer to him than Mike. Why wouldn't he want to be with you?"

Rob turned his head again and furrowed his brows at the bassist who seemed to forget the most important thing in this whole mess.

"Dave. Chester's married. To a woman. They have a baby. He's cheating on her with Mike. Why should I tell him how I feel when he's already made a mess out of his love life? He's out of my reach. We're not meant to be."

Rob swallowed his bitterness and threw his hands over his head before leaning back to lay down on the bed. His throat felt like it was closing and he stared blankly at the cealing. There were so many things wrong with this whole situation. It was way more drama than he was used to and he just needed time to process everything. He pressed his palms against his face and Dave shot him a sympathetic look.

"I'm really sorry Rob. You're right. I forgot he was married. To be honest I don't think he's ever called his wife or vice versa. I didn't even know he was also into men."

The drummer exhaled loudly in frustration and massaged his temples.

"There's...a lot we don't know about Chester. He has a weird, secret life and I rather not go digging for answers. I think I've had enough disappointments for one day."

Dave listened carefully and rubbed his friend's shoulder. In all their years of friendship he'd never seen him so concerned, but he kept an optimistic outlook. Maybe one day Chester and Rob would end up together. Maybe things would get better.

"Hey Rob, it's gonna be alright dude. Sometimes you just need to give things time to get better. "

Rob swallowed loudly and simply stared at the ceiling remembering the night Chester told him his story. He closed his eyes and remembered his scent and the warmth of his skin. A smile began to paint itself on the drummer's face as he recalled Chester's deep brown eyes. The fluttering in his stomach whenever the singer was near. His mind was swimming in his memories when suddenly the doorbell echoed throughout the small house, putting a dent in his happy moment. Dave looked at his bedroom door and slightly turned his head for a better listen. He could hear Joe and Brad's door swing open, followed by quick heavy footsteps down the hall. He knew right away it was Joe who was running to get the front door. He heard the sound of a deadbolt being unlatched then another door opening. There was Joe's goofy laughter followed by the sound of another voice far too familiar. It was Impossible not to recognize. Chris. Dave's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets while he shot up from the bed. He pressed his ear to the door and heard Joe and Chris laugh together followed by their muffled voices. Like a fly on the wall, still smiling Dave turned his head to glance at Rob over his shoulder.

"Oh my God Rob Chris is in our house! Chris Cornell is in our house! Oh my God..."

Dave ironed down his tee shirt with his palms and quickly fixed his hair. He smiled and took a tin of mints out of his pant pocket.

"I'm gonna go say hi. You want one?"

Rob opened his eyes and tilted his head up to see a very excited Dave offering him a mint. He scoweled at him and shook his head side to side. The bassist contained his excitement for the drummer's sake and excused himself leaving Rob alone with his thoughts. Rob waited for the redhead to leave the room to roll over and cry on his side. He couldn't think of a more heartbreaking way to find out your crush wasn't interested in you. _What does he see in Mike? He's a douche. Maybe he likes that? Maybe that's why he puts up with Mike's treatment. He's probably into that kind of thing. What if_ _I'm...a_ _little rough with him? Would he like me then?_  
Rob though about it for a moment before wiping his tears and suddenly deciding to go out and saying hello to that old washed up rockstar in their living room. Meanwhile at the end of the hall in the singer's room, Chester spritzed himself with a sweet vanilla body spray after dressing himself in a few layers of clothing. During his shower, he'd scrubbed himself to the point where he was squeaky clean. He'd applied several coats of deodorant, and brushed his teeth three times. Making sure to scrub his tongue each time, until he couldn't taste Mike anymore. He frowned as he tied his shoes realizing he had no tears left to cry anymore. For the past few months he had been hurt enough that he had finally gotten emotionally numb. Nothing was unexpected anymore. If Mike felt evil enough one day and flat out tortured him in his bedroom, He wouldn't be surprised. If suddenly he was living out of his suitcase in his car again, it wouldn't be news to his "family" back home. _My life is God's punchline_ he thought to himself staring at his reflection on the tiny cracked mirror on his bedroom wall.   
He frowned at himself when he heard the voice of someone familiar, followed by Joe's and Dave's laughter. _Chris? What is Chris doing here? He didn't_ _call...oh_ _no...I_ _probably still smell like Mike...what if he finds out. No_ _no...no_ _._ He spritzed himself with body spray again and with a trembling hand he straightened his glasses. He gave himself one last look in the mirror before finally shuffling out of his room and slowly made it into the living room. Everyone, including Mike sat or stood in a circle around Chris who sat on the couch with his guitar and plucked a few chords. Dave sat next to him with an ear to ear grin that would surely tear his cheeks apart if it got any wider. Joe and Brad looked over at Chris' quick fingers in awe, while Mike tried to create a rhythm to the soft melody by tapping on his own knee. Rob looked stoic as always and stood across from his secret lover, simply observing. He walked a little closer until he completed the circle and was standing between Rob and Joe. Chris stopped the vibrations of his guitar strings by gently landing the palm of his hand on top of them.

"And that's what I'm currently working on. I still haven't written the second verse, but I think it's going to be great when I'm done with it."

Chris nodded at everyone and his friendly smile became warm when his emerald green eyes met Chester's. Dave clapped excitedly next to him.

"That sounds like a beautiful song! Can't wait to hear the whole thing!"

Dave was barely sitting on the edge of his seat when Chris turned to him and shoot him a toothy grin.

"Thank you Dave, that means a lot. I'll come play it for you when it's ready."

Dave nodded awkwardly at a loss for words and everyone laughed in unison at the excited fan boy. Chris casted his loving glance back up at the singer.

"Hi Chessie, I just came to see how you were doing. Thought I'd actually meet the rest of the band."

Chris stood up from his spot on the couch and gave Chester a bear hug, making Rob's head turn. He glared at the friendly pair and he pursed his lips. _Chessie? Chessie? Since when does this old drunken dead beat call him that? He gave him a pet name? Fuck my life!_ Rob tried to contain his anger but found it difficult so he left to the restroom instead. He stopped down the hall and slammed the bathroom door shut. Joe was the only one that noticed and bit into his cinnamon roll thoughtfully. When he couldn't figure it out he nudged the guitarist and spoke with his mouth full.

"Sup writh Wob?"

Brad casually chewed his gum and looked in the direction of the restroom. He simply shrugged never really knowing what went through the taller man's head.

"I don't know man. Maybe he has the shits. You know vegetarians always have to go. It's all that fiber."

Brad stated in a matter of fact tone. Joe simply nodded with a puzzled expression still munching on his cinnamon deliciousness. He was swallowing when he turned his head and saw something that almost made him choke. As Chris leaned in for a hug for a split second he caught the rockstar softly kissing Chester's cheek. Joe shoved the last bite of his cinnamon roll into his mouth nervously and witnesses Chester slightly back away from the unwanted affection. He looked scared and somewhat disgusted. The D.J looked around the room hoping someone else would've noticed, but unfortunately everyone else had already dispersed throughout the house. He looked down at the spot where Chris and Dave were sitting, and only saw the redhead lightly stroking the wooden body of Chris's guitar. He looked amazed and was too busy inspecting it to have noticed what happened.   
_Is Chris sexually harassing Chaz? What the fuck? I_ _Should say something, but what if Chris beats me_ _up...he's_ _got muscles...and he's really tall. Maybe I should just shut up,_ _but...I_ _really want to help Chaz._ Joe shifted uncomfortably and carefully but quickly made his way back to the kitchen where Brad was pouring himself a glass of Milk. Joe looked around and saw the box of cinnamon rolls. There was one left, and he grabbed it and began to quickly devour it out of nervousness. Brad turned around and furrowed his brows then chuckled at the sight of Joe stuffing his mouth like a chipmunk.

"What's up with you Joey? Slow down."

Brad took a sip from his glass and waited for Joe to say something. Joe swallowed and squeezed his gooey pastry. He didn't hesitate to speak up.

"I just saw Chris trying to kiss Chester. "

Brad laughed and licked his mustache. He giggled noticing Joe's panicked stare.

"Yeah I've always thought he was...kinda gay. Not surprised."

Joe stared at the guitarist horrified and confused and couldn't take another bite of his cinnamon roll.

"You don't get it. I don't think he liked Chris coming onto him like that. He made a grossed out face at him."

The guitarist chugged the rest of his milk then stared at the D.J in silence. His face turned serious and he squeezed Joe's shoulder.

"Joe...sometimes things are not what they seem. Who knows, maybe they're fuck bodies or something and Chris' breath just smelled like liquor. Maybe that's why Chaz made a face."

Joe looked up at Brad, still unconvinced.

"But...what if he's hurting Chaz?"

Brad exhaled loudly, clearly annoyed by Joe's concerned demeanor. If Joe was right, he didn't want to be the knight in shining armor to save Chester from some creep. They were a few steps away from releasing their first album and he didn't feel like getting caught up in band drama when they were so close to success. He didn't even really know Chester anyway why would he stick his nose in his business?

"I'm sure he's fine Joe. Stop worrying. If he's hurting Chester why do they hang out all the time? I'm positive Chester wouldn't hang out with that old fart if he was being a creep. They're buddies. Just chill."

Brad gave a Joe a friendly pat on the back before leaving the kitchen and heading to their room. Joe was left unsatisfied with Brad's answer, and with a gut feeling that something wasn't right.


	19. Welcome to Hollywood

Chris waited for everyone to vacate the area and held Chester's hands in his own. He smiled kindly at his lover who looked uneasy and searched for his eyes.

"I've missed you baby. I've missed those sweet lips."

The rockstar leaned down to capture the blonde's lips when Chester panicked. _Oh_ _no...He's_ _going to taste Mike's cum!_ He flinched and quickly turned this head evading his lover's kiss. Chris opened his eyes in surprise as he kissed the singer's cheek instead, and looked down at the blonde who seemed very much on edge. Chester brought up a hand and began to nibble on his finger nails, nervously looking around. Chris studied him but still held one of the younger man's hands.

"Chessie? What's the matter?

The blonde began to take quick shallow breaths and soon started to tear up. He shook uncontrollably and squeezed Chris' hand tightly. The taller man leaned down searching for his boyfriend's panicked stare but he averted his eyes and displayed the first signs of a meltdown instead. Chris grew worried and tugged his hand trying to get the young singer to speak.

" Baby, you don't look so good. C'mere let's sit you down on the couch. "

Chris pulled his hand in a poor attempt to get his lover to follow him to the couch, when instead the singer pulled his arm away.

"N...n..n..no let's leave. I don't...I can't be here....p..p..please."

Chester casted his panicked glance down and as he trembled dozens of tears began to roll down his cheeks. Chris looked at him worried over the state his partner was in and simply nodded. He snatched tiffany from the old worn out couch and opened the door. His boyfriend quickly walked by him tripping a few times with his own feet. His breath hitched before he completely broke down once he was closer to Chris' car. He hugged himself while he waited for Chris to unlock the doors. The sight of the white challenger gave him hope and a sense of relief. If he could stay away for the night, that would mean that he was safe for another night. It meant Mike wouldn't have him. It meant he wouldn't be his play thing.   
Chris opened the door for him and he didn't hesitate to crawl into the passenger's side. Once inside he kept his stare on the dashboard, recalling all the times Chris had saved him from danger. _I wish we'd never met. I don't think I can go through with this. I love you chris._ Chester was so agitated he didn't realize Chris had been stroking his cheek.

"Baby? What's wrong with you?

The taller man leaned in to gently press his lips against the blonde's soft cheek,but Chester flinched making a scared face at his loving boyfriend. Chris exasperated loudly and straightened himself in his seat. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly he felt he might strain his hands. He was concerned and confused about Chester's demeanor. Chris didn't understand where this paranoia was coming from. Chester was pushing him away and turned his face whenever he tried to kiss him, then suddenly Mike popped into his min _d if that asshole is still picking on_ _Chessie_ _...I'll_ _ugh I don't know...God_ _damn_ _it!_ The older rockstar placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. He took a long drag and quietly turned to see his lover become a trembling crying mess next to him. His glance bounced from Chester's crying form to the old dilapidated house where the rest of the band lived.

" is that son of a bitch still picking on you for being gay? Is that what this is? Because if it is I'll go in there right now and give him a piece of my mind. "

Chris tugged his lips to the side and pushed out a white cloud of smoke that drifted out of the window. He clenched his jaw and for a minute fantasized about tearing Mike a new one. Chester shrunk in his seat and hugged himself.

"No...well...yes, but I don't want you to go in there. There's no need."

The rockstar laughed bitterly and took an extra long drag from his cigarette, eyeing his vulnerable lover.

"What do you mean there's no need? Look at you. You're a crying mess Chester. I hate seeing you like this...hurt."

" it's just that...they don't know you and I are together. I get enough shit from Mike because I'm gay. If they all find out we're together...I don't know what would happen. What if They don't want me as their singer anymore? What if I get you in trouble and you end up all over the tabloids. No one knows you're gay either. It will ruin your career. I'm...I'm not ready to come out of the closet just yet Chris. "

Chester curled up into a ball on the passenger's seat and tucked his head in between his knees. Chris blew cigarette smoke out of his nostrils resembling an angry bull. He quietly studied the crumbling boy next to him and wondered what actually troubled him. He was convicted there was more going on than just getting beaten up or called names and he wish he would open up a little more.

"You don't think they know already? You don't think Mike has told them you're gay? I'm sure they all see that son of a bitch pick on you, but they're too chicken shit to say or do anything. As far as my career goes. I think I'll be okay. I don't care what people think of me because I'm... bisexual, but I understand why you don't want us out yet. It's scary to face the world sometimes, but you're not alone Chester."

In a simple attempt to comfort the young singer, Chris reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"Th...thank you..."

Chester looked up and half smiled at his boyfriend who smiled reassuringly at him. He pinched the cigarette butt with his his thumb and index finger then took a long drag before flicking it out of his window. Chris exhaled a dense cloud of smoke then raised his hand to the young singer's cheek.

" it's going to be okay baby, dry those tears. Let's go for a spin. "

The rockstar turned the key In the ignition making his engine roar loudly.

"Seatbelt baby."

He reminded his precious cargo, before peeling off the driveway and burning rubber. Chris smiled devilishly as he sped throughout the city. A few chaotic turns later and he was on the highway enjoying the wild wind that played with his hair. He purposefully drove in silence hoping that the breathtaking scene they would reach soon, would calm Chester. He wasn't sure if the boy had ever driven by that side of town, but it was a scene that could relax even the most stressed out soul. He stepped on the clutch and moved the shifter around preparing himself for the upcoming scenic route. With a hand secured on the wheel and the other on the shifter, he hugged the curves of the highway that was on a mountain side.

"Look to our left Chessie!"

Chris chuckled with his eyes on the road. Chester leaned over to their left and looked past his lover's head through the window, and saw an endless deep blue ocean that blended perfectly with the sky on the horizon. The tides crashed rhythmically against tan beach sand below them, and sprayed the rough rock on the side of the mountain. It looked like a live painting, or something you would see in a resort brochure. He couldn't help but smile at the surreal scene. He'd never seen anything so amazing.

"Where are we?"

Chris kept his eyes fixed on the road but smiled. Out of the corner of his eye and by the tone of the blonde's voice he could tell Chester was smiling.

"Pacific Coast Highway. I love driving through here, especially when I'm feeling kinda low. It's a great view."

Chester scooted a little closer next to Chris to get a better look. For a split second Chris turned his face and glanced lovingly at his partner. Chester was amazed at how his boyfriend's hypnotic eyes resembled the raging sea, beside him. Chris drove quietly Along the highway that like the ocean, seemed endless. Chester stared out the window until his breathing mimicked the rhythm of the slow crashing waves of the sea. A minute more of the surreal view and he could've fallen asleep.   
The rockstar behind the wheel deviated from Pacific Coast highway and made a right turn that went on for miles. He effortlessly shifted the gears of his car and kept driving momentarily eying his awestruck passenger. Until he reached what looked like the apex of a rocky mountain. Chester sat on the edge of his seat and took one look out of every window of his boyfriend's car.

"Where are we now?"

His mouth was agape while he looked around at the unknown territory from inside the vehicle. The driver winked at him and turned the key on the ignition silencing the powerful engine.

"You'll see..."

Chris reached in between his legs and took out his infamous whiskey bottle, his cigarettes, and his revolver. The blonde watched him carefully while he retrieved a rope from the back seat, and used it to fasten the bottle to his leather belt. He tucked his cigarettes into one of his Jean pockets and finally sheathed his revolver behind himself into his pants. Chris looked like he was preparing himself for something dangerous.

"C'mon baby, you're going to like this."

Chris removed his seatbelt and exited the car. His worried boyfriend watched him from his seat as he left a smoky trail behind him with each step. His head almost did a one eighty, while he followed Chris with his stare. The rockstar popped the trunk open which urged the blonde to slowly exit the car as well. Once outside he noticed the lose sand and gravel below his sneakers. If it was any darker and dryer it would be like the earth back home. He kept his stare on the ground until he reached Chris, who dug in the inside of a small I've chest in the back of his trunk. Chester curiously let his stare wonder about. There was rope, barb wire, a small shovel, a machete, and of course the ice chest that contained various types of beers. His breath hitched and his blood ran cold from the odd things in Chris' trunk. _What the he'll is all that? Who the fuck carries around a machete?_  
Chester prayed that Chris would never find out about the deal he'd made with Mike and swallowed loudly. His glance found and followed Chris' skilled hands once more as he tied a four pack of wine coolers to his belt.

"I got you some apple flavored seagrams. It was the closest thing I could find to an appletini on the go. "

Chris flashed the singer a charming smile, closed his trunk, then reached for his hand.

"C'mere baby, hold my hand. I don't want you to fall down."

Chester hesitated but then took the rockstar's strong hand. They slowly walked away from the car and hiked up a small rocky hill until They reached a large white structure with a ladder on the side. Chris quickly began to climb up the ladder urging his scared boyfriend to finally speak up.

"Chris? W..where are we? Is this legal?"

He could hear the wild rockstar chuckle then he momentarily stopped to look down at him.

"It's not legal. No. It's dangerous. Stupid, but I know you'll love it Chessie. Follow me baby."

Frightened, yet curious the young singer followed the rockstar up the ladder. His limbs trembled the higher he got and reminded himself not to look down. The higher he got the cooler the air became and the more quiet everything seemed. Just when he was beginning to think the ladder was infinite he saw Chris' outstretched hand in front of his face. His eyes traveled up his long, tan, muscular arm, then his face which had a heartwarming widespread across it. Chester took his hand and climbed up the last couple of steps on the ladder. There was an off white cloud that swallowed him for a few seconds. Then a cool breeze that pushed it away revealing a perfect view of the whole city from a bird's eye view. Chester Chester's eyes were wide and he laughed.

"Where the hell are we? This is so cool!"

Chris smiled at the beaming blonde and took him by the hand. He rested one hand on the small of his back, and cradled the back of his head with the other. He brought the blonde in for a wet passionate kiss among the clouds. The rockstar hummed and gently took Chester's bottom lip in between his teeth before breaking the kiss. He stared into the boy's eyes and curled his lips inward, tasting him.

"We're on top of the Hollywood sign. We're standing on the H. You look so beautiful Chessie."

Chester trembled a little, surprised but delicately smiled at Chris who began to untie his unopened whiskey bottle. He removed the paper wrapper around the cork, then quickly removed that too with a popping sound. The young singer watched Chris carefully remove one of the wine coolers from his belt then hand it to him.

"Here, give it a taste see how you like it."

Chester took it and inspected the fine print at the bottom before opening it. _%5 alcohol I should be okay. He's... Not trying to get me drunk. Is he? What if he drugs me and rapes me up here? Then leaves me naked, sore, and tied up? His cock is bigger than Mike's so it'll hurt a lot for sure. It'll kill me. The pain would kill me! Oh my God._ His eyes teared up at the thought of the horrible things Chris would put him through. He began to hyperventilate when Chris' gentle voice brought him out of his paranoia.

"Sit next to me Chessie. Let's enjoy this view."

Chris sat on on the edge of the H and padded the empty spot next to him. Chester obeyed with hesitation and watched take a long chug from his bottle. He re-corked it and looked into the horizon.

"Do you know how many people have jumped to their death from up here?"

The rockstar's statement caught Chester by surprise and he shook his head side to side. Chris grinned and took another sip of his whiskey, then cleared his throat making Chester flinch.

"A lot. Most of them actors, actresses, musicians whose dreams didn't come true. Some people think it's haunted up here, because they see or hear things that aren't really there."

Chester took a long sip from his curvy bottle and have his partner a startled look. _Why is he telling me this? Is he going to push me off the sign. Will he hurt me?_

" Why...why would they jump from up here though? "

Chris sipped from his bottle again, and winced his eyes feeling the burn the whiskey left behind as it went down.

" They were dramatic until their last breath. All the world is a stage."

The rockstar took out his cigarettes and placed one between his lips. He took out his Zippo and ignited the tip of it. He closed his eyes and hummed, inhaling its sweet smoky aroma. There was nothing better than the first puff of a cigarette. Chris swung his legs back and forward over the edge of where he sat. They shared a quiet moment until he spoke again.

"How's your drink baby? "

Chester looked at his curvy bottle and lightly shook the neon green liquid around. He had only taken a few sips, but took another in front of Chris to make a verdict.

" It's good...a little bit sweet but it's refreshing. I like it. "

The happy couple sat atop of the sign for a few hours. Sharing stories, and laughing while they slowly emptied their bottles. After every sip and cigarette Chris seemed a little more inebriated than usual. Just about anything the blonde did or said earned a chuckle from the rockstar. The sun was quickly sinking below the horizon creating a swirl of pinks, purples, and yellows in the sky. Thousands of tiny lights that were scattered around the city lit up announcing the the arrival of nightfall. Chester turned his head and noticed Chris standing, swooning dangerously close to the edge of the letter H. A soft breeze brushed a few strands of hair off his face, suddenly reminding Chester of their altitude. He gave Chris a startled look watching him inch closer to the edge. Chris flashed him a smile with a euphoric look on his face, and threw his empty whiskey bottle over his head.  
About twenty seconds passed then the blonde heard glass shattering below them. The sound brought a smile to his boyfriend's face and he got closer to the edge making Chester jump up in fear.

"Chris don't! You're gonna fall! P...p..p..please get away from there. Let's l...l..leave...p...p..please."

Chris smiled devilishly at him and stumbled a little as made his way to his frightened lover. He snaked his arms around his small waist and pressed his warm lips against Chester's, causing him to flinch. He held the boy lovingly and didn't take much convincing to get him to climb down the ladder. Under Chris' suggestion Chester would be the last to climb.

" This way, in case I fall, I don't take you down with me sweetie. We're gonna be fine. Just focus on climbing down. "

The blonde nodded, petrified. He waited until Chris was about twelve feet below him on the ladder, then began to climb down. A harsh breeze whistled against his ears preventing him from making out Chris' muffled words. Based on the tone of the rockstar, Chester was sure he was just telling him a story from his Soundgarden days. He tightly gripped each bar from the ladder carefully. Afraid of falling. He was about ten feet away from the ground when he had the feeling he needed to look up. He took a short break feeling a burning sensation in his arms, and looked up. Way up above him, just where they sat before he saw a woman in 1930's clothing looking over the city. She stretched her arms wide to the sides as if she was a bird about to fly and jumped. Chester stared at her horrified and was about to scream when he realized she became completely see through, and disappeared before she hit the ground.  
He felt his whole body tremble and made his way down in the verge of tears. Once he reached the ground he continued to shiver and quickly made his way to Chris who was just a few feet away from him. He crashed into his muscular chest where he felt the safest and began to cry. Chris smiled and held him close.

"Baby...shhhh. Don't cry sweetie...don't cry. We made it down safely. It's okay baby."

Chester shook in his arms and Chris felt his own back pop as the blonde squeezed him tighter. He chuckled at his adorable boyfriend squeezing him.

"N..n..n.no I saw a lady jump and then disappear."

Chris took a more serious tone and held the frightened boy in his arms. He kissed the top of his head and led the way back to his car. It was very dark and the rockstar stumbled a few times until he finally reached his car. Both men got inside and Chester watched his lover nervously. _Maybe I should drive...but I can't drive stick. Shit!_ Chris flashed his dozy eyes at him and smiled as if he had just read his mind.

"Don't worry baby. I'm not driving. I can barely walk. I'm sorry, but I think we should spend the night in here. I'll drive us back to my place once I sober up a bit. There's a blanket in the back seat if you feel more comfortable back there. That's...if you're not scared of Peg."

Chester hugged himself feeling a cold chill waft in through the window. He shivered and looked at the fleece blanket in the back seat. _Do I dare ask?_

_"_ Who is Peg?"

The rockstar on the driver's side leaned his head back on the head rest of his seat, making the leather upholstery squeak. He slowly rolled his head to the side and reached over to stroke his lover's cheek.

"Peg. Is the ghost of the woman you saw jumping off the sign. She killed herself in 1932. A lot of people say they've seen her up here. You're one of the lucky ones. Not a bad distraction from your bully back home huh?"

Chester curled into a ball in his seat still holding the rockstar's hand. He stared into the sleepy eyes of the other man and as they slowly began to drift away he heard his voice one last time that night.

"I love you Chester..."


	20. Top Secret

A cool morning breeze lightly caressed Chester's cheek gently waking him. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times remembering where he slept. He winced feeling a muscle cramp in his neck as a result of sleeping curled up on the seat of car. Grunting, he sat up and realized he'd held Chris' hand the entire night. The rockstar heard him stir beside him and opened his eyes revealing their usual dozy look. Chester looked into them surprised by the fact that even after seeing them so many times, they still had the power to to hypnotize him. They also had the odd ability to match the ocean, the trees, or the sky. At the moment they matched the sky that was lit with the first rays of the sun. Is as if Chris had pieces of the sky for eyes.   
He became lost in them and noticed Chris leaned in for a soft morning kiss. The rockstar gave him a small peck on the lips but slowly began to trail down to Chester's jawline he let out a small sexual purr setting the young singer in a panic. _Oh God no...what is he doing?_ Chris moved over and straddled his young lover while he softly yet passionately kissed the exposed skin of his neck. Chester felt his heart thumping in his throat and began to cry silently, realizing Chris's body weight made him uneasy when it never did so before. He kept as still as possible and tried to calm himself. _It's not Mike. It's Chris. You love him. He loves you. It's love. Not rape._  
Chris began to slowly rub his growing bulge up and down on Chester's groin. Chester's breath hitched and he suddenly felt helpless. He could feel Chris ' large member becoming more and more stiff by the second. _It's Chris. It's not Mike._ He squeezed his eyes shut, frozen from the fear of intimacy. Chris palmed his boyfriend's member over his pants and gave the skin on his neck gentle kisses and tender love bites. Suddenly, when Chester least expected the memory of Mike touching him and kissing him tainted his mind. He remembered the feeling of his body resisting Mike's rough probing fingers. The way he came in his mouth. The perverse way he groped him and woke him in the middle of the night for depraved sexual favors. It was all too much to take and he broke down, still in his nightmare like trance.

"Baby...? Chessie?"

He opened his eyes surprised by the sound of his own crying. He shivered and was met with Chris' concerned face. His long calloused fingers brushed bits of his blonde curls back.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Ashamed, hurt, and horrified Chester placed his hands on Chris ' muscular pecs gently pushing him back.

"Someone can see us. They're going to find out...we're gay. "

He lied still crying. Chris backed away and looked at him, surprised.

"Baby...there's no one else up here. We're alone."

The blonde squeezed his legs shut and hugged himself, causing Chris to feel some guilt for spending the night in his car.

" it's not safe up here. "

Chester winced and continued to sob quietly. Chris simply nodded his head, understanding the blonde's sensitivity and need for privacy. He pressed his lips against his boyfriend 's cheek and crawled back to his seat. Where he wordlessly dug into his Jean pockets retrieving his keys and inserted them into the ignition.

"I'm sorry we spent the night in my car. I just wanted to show you this view. Do you want to come back to my place?"

Chris turned to look at his lover that was still in tears, and offered the comfort and privacy of his own home with a warm smile. Chester's breath hitched and he shot his caring boyfriend a panicked stare. _I can't do_ _this...I_ _can't have Chris make love to me just to have his touch erased by that perv! When he finds out Chris came inside_ _me..._ _he'll...he'll_ _hurt me. He'll make me wear lingerie under my clothes again. He'll_ _beat_ _...me_ _._ Chester began to hyperventilate and shook his head side to side, knowing that this would hurt Chris.

"I'm sorry...I don't want to hurt you Chris. If anyone sees us together like this, It will ruin your career. W...w...what will people say?

Chris gripped his steering wheel, fearing Chester's next choice of words. Deep down he knew there was more to his partner, he just couldn't figure out what it was. _What's really your problem Chessie?_ He felt a painful knot in his throat that left in the form of a lonely tear. The rockstar quickly wiped it away and turned to face the blonde next to him. He reached over and clasped his hand waiting for Chester to look at him. He did eventually, and Chris saw fear, pain, and disillusionment staring back at him.

"I don't care what people say, or what they think, or how they look at me. All I care about...is you. I love you Chester. I see you and feel happy. The first time we made love was the first time in a very long time I felt alive. Being inside you felt so right. It felt natural. Existing next to you is easy. It's like breathing. Like It was meant to be. I know what I want Chester, do you?"

The rockstar gave his lover a stern look sure of himself. Confident about what he felt for the young blonde. When all Chester could do was sob and stare at the dashboard Chris felt a heavy drop in his heart. He tried to hold his tears back and turned the key in the ignition, causing his Challenger to roar loud enough to drown his racing thoughts. He sped through the short dirt road, until he reached Pacific coast highway again and zoomed through. He kept his blurred vision glued to the road. He quickly turned the steering wheel swirving and hugging the curves of the road. There was something about Chester that didn't make sense. Come to think of it, not a lot made sense. For starters, he was a closed book and If Chris would ask anything about himself he would evade the questions. Chester had a problem being in the nude around him, even after being intimate. He was always in a paranoid state, like he was hiding something, _but what?_  
Chris continued to drive and dried a few more tears with his shoulder. _This is fucking stupid, I'm crying over a man. A man! I'm not bisexual. I'm gay. I'm gay but I'm not a_ _fag_ _. Stop crying Chris. You can do this. This boy is not going to break your heart. It's gonna be fine._ The rockstar swallowed a few tears and momentarily glanced at his lover who still frowned with his stare glued to the dashboard.

"I don't want to hide our love forever. I'm not ashamed of what we are, and I don't fear the world. You don't have to be afraid Chester, I can protect you. I'll keep you safe. No one will ever hurt you again."

Chester shook his head side to side curling his lip outward. A river of tears flowed from Chris' comforting words. _He's too sweet. I love him, but I know Mike won't keep us a secret. He'll tell_ everyon _e we're together, even if I do everything he says._

_"_ We need to keep us a secret Chris. We can't be seen. I told you it will dismantle your career that you've worked so hard for. We can't be seen." _You can't keep me safe from everyone._

Chris swirved his car but continued to speed through Los Angeles. He glared at the road angry, confused, and hurt

"My home isn't secret enough for you? Explain that."

Chester was quickly crumbling under the pressure. He knew his excuses were stupid, but he loved Chris and he didn't want to cause problems in his life because of Mike.

"It's just that it's daytime...someone could see us"

Chris pulled over with a loud screech in front of Chester's house, and exhaled loudly. He turned the key on the ignition but didn't remove it. Instead he covered his mouth in distress and fought back tears. He tried to contain his anger but failed and turned to glare at Chester with sorrowful eyes.

" so what? We're just supposed to see each other at night, away from your band? Away from everyone and everything? I don't understand...I know you love me, but I don't know why you insist on keeping us a secret?"

Chris stared at his lover who still avoided eye contact. He watched as Chester pull his legs to his chest and curled into a ball. The walls he had put up were slowly starting to crumble and fall. He cried silently, torn between telling Chris half the truth or the whole truth. Or just not saying anything at all. He couldn't tell Chris that Mike had been molesting him without bringing up the fact that he was also married...to a woman, and had a son. Keeping his relationship with Chris a secret was no longer his choice. Mike had the upper hand in everything. Chester knew he was in too deep. _What am I supposed to do?_

_"_ I'm just scared Chris...I'm really scared."

Chris slowly shook his head side to side, disappointed and full of doubt. He brushed his hair back with one hand and rested the other on top of the steering wheel.

" Why? I told you I would protect you. You're not afraid for me. You're afraid for yourself. You want to keep us a secret for your sake. What are you hiding Chessie? Is there...someone else? "

He turned to look at Chester and wondered if the blonde was going to drop a truth bomb on him. _Please say no baby._

" no... "

Chris dropped his shoulders and exhaled slowly, feeling relief. If there was no one else in Chester's life, then what was this about? _Maybe he really is afraid of coming out of the closet. He shouldn't be. I'm here. As long as he's my man no one will mess with him._ _I can take care of him._

" so what is it Chessie? What are we then...top secret?

Chris anger boiled down to fear. The fear of losing of Chester. He whispered his questions now. Hurt, anxious, and afraid.

"I just...n...n..need a little time to think. Okay? I'm...I'm not as brave as you Chris. I'll tell you everything...just. Not now. I promise."

Chester turned to look at his boyfriend in the eye. Something that he'd only done once that morning. When he usually couldn't stop staring at him. He trembled a little still unsure of how everything was going to pan out. Chris reached over and cupped his soft cheek, then gently have it a squeeze.

"I love you Chester. I love you..." _Don't hurt me baby. I need you._

Chester leaned towards his partner. His face was just inches from Chris' when he pressed his lips against his lover. They broke their bittersweet kiss but touched foreheads lovingly for a few seconds. Chester rested a hand on Chris ' shoulder and looked into his eyes again. The way the blonde was looking at the rockstar, melted his heart.

" I love you too Chris. I'm sorry...thank you for understanding. I'll call you honey, ok? "

Chris nodded quietly and watched his lover nervously step out of his car. He noticed the blonde slowly walk away towards the dilapidated house. It was almost as if he dreaded going back. Clearly he wasn't happy there. Chris watched him jiggle the doorknob a little then turn around and sadly wave goodbye at him. Even from afar, Chris could see he'd started to cry again. He had a smile but his eyes said so much more. The door shut and Chris sat there for a few seconds more before finally driving off. It was heart wrentching sight. To see the one he loved, hurt and not being able to do anything about it made him feel powerless. _Why wont_ _you let me help you baby?_  
Just as Chester carefully closed the front door he suddenly felt someone shove him against it with so much force his vision blurred a little. A sharp pain rushed to his head and he turned to see who was attacking him already knowing the answer. He swooned a bit and tried to focus on Mike's blurred face That was now just inches away from his. He felt Mike's hand coil around his neck then he began be squeeze with brutal force.

"Where were you last night? Huh? We were supposed to fuck. We're you with Chris again ? You ungrateful piece of shit."

Chester's face began to balloon and turn bright red. Mike was furious and slapped him hard across the face knocking off the blonde's glasses.

"Answer me!"

The singer flailed his arms and desperately tried to remove Mike's hand from around this neck. He felt like he was only breathing through a cocktail straw at this point.

"Can't...breathe...h..elp" _he's killing me. Someone help! Help! Don't kill me...please...owww!_

Hot tears left the singer as his vision began to tunnel. Mike squeezed his neck harder feeling his fingernails dig under Chester's skin. He would've crushed his windpipe it wasn't for Rob who was just turning the corner into the kitchen. Rob had a ceramic plate and glass of water, that he dropped immediately after doing a double take at the scene in the living room. The dishes shattered into a million pieces as he sprinted towards Mike and pulled him off of Chester. He shoved him back and stared at the emcee in horror.

"What the hell are you doing!? You fucking asshole! Look at him, you could've killed him!"

Mike gave him a death stare while Rob gestured at the crying shivering Chester on the floor. The drummer looked down at the blonde who shook horrified. His cheek had a bright red spot growing and he had Mike's hand print on his neck in bright red.

"He didn't come home last night! We had a band meeting with Jim today. I had to cancel it because I didn't know when this gay slut was coming back!" 

The emcee glared at both Rob and Chester as he spoke. He balled his hands into fists Ready to leave the singer black and blue. The drummer shook his head in disapproval feeling as if someone just lit a match inside of him.

"I can't believe you. Aren't you gay too Mike!?"

Rob snapped back at the emcee who looked at him slightly surprised.

"What! No! I'm not fucking gay! How dare you!?"

Mike furrowed his brows, feeling threatened after his masculinity came into question. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at Rob who rolled his eyes, finding his reaction borderline comical.

" come on Mike, give me a break. We all know you two are...doing adult stuff in your room. We can hear you guys at night. Kissing, moaning. That's not from working on the album. "

Rob looked at a furious Mike then glanced at his crush who was still crying on the floor. It felt like life was always dangling Chester in front of him. He was always so far, yet so near. At the same time life gave him opportunities such as the one now, when he could protect and care for Chester. Which was something that gave him joy. He just wished he didn't always have to do it. He just wanted for the singer to be happy, after all he had the most beautiful smile.

"Look I don't know what kind of relationship you two are having, but I it shouldn't involve beating Chester up. You're hurting him, and one of these days it's going to get out of hand. I thought you were treating him better, but I guess you haven't changed Mike."

Mike glared at the two band members and stormed off still needing to hurt the blonde. He stomped to his room and slammed the door shut behind himself, making the living room feel safe again. Rob looked in the direction of Mike and waited a few moments before he knelt down next to Chester and hugged him.

"Hey Ches It's okay. You're okay. Why are you with him? He doesn't deserve you."

Chester cried into the crook of Rob's neck, inhaling his fresh cologne. He mentally thanked him, and as if he would've heard his thoughts the drummer squeezed him kissing the top of his head.

"I can bunk with you in your room for as long as you need to. I can Keep you safe Ches. Just, please don't experiment with Mike anymore. He's hurting you."

The blonde loosened his grip on the drummer as his eyes danced around in confusion. His face was still against Rob's neck. _What? He wants to sleep with me at night? I suppose it would be nice to just rest and not be touched by Mike. I miss sleeping._ Chester nodded slowly against Rob's neck and he signed feeling the drummer's warm palm on his back.

_"_ Why are you so nice to me Rob? "

Chester asked in quiet tears feeling safe in his gentle giant's arms. Rob kissed the top of his head again, enjoying the way the singer' blonde gelled up spikes tickled his lips and nose.

"Because I care about you." _Because I love you Chester._


	21. Bittersweet

*Five days later*

The entertainment area in Chris's mansion was dimly lit. The long blinds that went around the large glass doors were drawn closed, imperfectly. They looked as If a nervous cat had been playing with them and destroyed some of them. pieces of the fine blinds were chipped and others were just not closed all the way. They hung awkwardly and remained crooked, poorly shielding the luxurious space from the orange ribbons of the L.A sunset glow.  
At the far end of the entertainment area by a large window sat a weeping Chris, buried in a mountain of beer and whiskey bottles. His eyes were swollen and red from many sleepless nights, and endless tears. It had been five days without any phone calls. Five days of drinking. Five days of solitude, and five long days without Chester. He cried silently and took a short drag from his cigarette. Then he pushed it out through his nostrils looking through the crooked blinds at the pool. The pool that was by them where he and Chester first made love. A tear slowly rolled down his hollow face.

"Fuck..."

He whispered to himself, them wiped it away to take a sip from the whiskey bottle he had been nesting between his long legs. He missed the blonde, and he felt shame admitting to himself that Chester's absence hurt more than when his ex wife had left. He didn't shed a single tear. Not for her, but he did miss his children. It had been two years since he last held them or played with them, and Chris had found relief at the bottom of whiskey bottles every night. In the last puff of hundreds of cigarettes, and in the adrenaline that coursed through his body when he drove recklessly. He found comfort in composing music and his large guitar collection. He kept the t.v on, and as it buzzed in the background it gave him the feeling that he wasn't all alone in a mansion meant for thirty. When t.v wasn't enough to to give him the illusion of company, he hit up bars and still drank alone. The only difference was that there was actual people around him ,but nothing or anyone could fill the void in his life quite like Chester.   
When Chester was around, he had someone to talk to. A real three dimensional person, with complex feelings and thoughts. He was someone that would genuinely enjoy his cooking, and eat everything off the plate even the tiniest morsel. He was a beautiful man with silky soft skin, deep espresso colored eyes, and when he smiled he was capable of imobolizing a room full of people. He was lovely person both in and out.  
Chris sniffed remembering Chester's face and the calming sound of his voice. He dug into his pants pockets and retrieved a crumpled piece of paper. He un-crumpled it and smiled bitterly at the drawing Chester had done of his eyes. He wept silently, tracing the heart around his own name. Then remembered how nervous Chester was, when all those papers fell out of his song book the day they recorded Crawling together.

"I know you love me Chessie. I love you too. Maybe I was rushing you into coming out of the closet too harshly. I'm sorry baby. God, I miss you. I miss you so much... I've scared you away. You're gone and it's all my fault."

Chris threw his head back and tilted the whiskey bottle towards his chapped lips. A dozen tears spilled and he quickly chugged his drink in a vain attempt to stop himself from crying. He sipped all of the bottle's contents and for the seventh time that week, found no relief from his pain. I need you baby...  
The loneliness was driving him to insanity and he pulled on his lengthy hair and screamed, hoping but knowing that no one could hear him. He prayed to anything that was out there for the torture to stop. His heart raced as he grabbed his empty bottle and threw it against the wall, and hit the curtains shattering it into a thousand pieces. He had food, water, the car of his dreams, fame, money, good looks, and a mansion with fifty different rooms to choose from. He had it all, but he didn't have Chester and it hurt. He wept inconsolably and reached for his hair again when he heard his phone ringing.  
His heart skipped a beat and he hesitated in disbelief. Thinking that the solitude had finally driven him to hear things. 

"Oh my God...is it really ringing?..."

The phone rang twice, finally convincing him to jump off the couch and run to pick up. He ran in a zigzag line towards it with his vision blurring more and more with each step. Then he tripped but managed to reach the receiver from the floor. He put it to his face hoping to hear Chester's soft voice.

"Cornell residence?" He slurred

Then he heard the most beautiful voice in the face of the earth.

" C..Chris? Hi...how are you? "

Chris smiled and nodded as if Chester could see him, then sniffed.

"I...I'm great Chessie, just uh...working on a song that's all." Missing you like Crazy and drinking myself to sleep every night. I don't know what to do with myself.

Chester could hear Chris slurring his words and felt an instant pang of guilt. I'm hurting him. He's probably been drinking nonstop. I hate myself. He cleared his throat and toyed with the phone cord from the pay phone he was calling from. He forced a smile feeling like the biggest piece of crap in the galaxy and glanced at Rob behind him who was ordering their milkshakes

"Well...I...I hope I'm not interrupting you, but I. I just wanted to let you know that we're having our first concert this weekend. Then we're having a little release party for the album. It's like a two in one thing. Um...I was wondering if you could come? I'll...I'll tell you everything Chris. I promise...no more secrets, and um...I'm sorry I disappeared for a while...and I miss you."Did

Chris nodded, feeling a painful burning feeling on his cheeks from suddenly smiling so much.

" Baby, that's great! Yes, of course I'd love to go. That's great news! I've missed you too Chessie. A lot, but I've been working on my songwriting the whole time. "

Chester knew Chris was lying and felt like he needed to apologize for his absence again. He herd the way Chris' voice broke and that he was struggling to make his voice sound normal. A vail of worry crept over him and he remembered that one of Chris' favorite things to do besides drinking, was speeding. In hope he doesn't go anywhere like this.

"Honey, I really am sorry for vanishing. I just needed a little bit of time to figure things out. I'm b...b..baby? One more thing. C..c.can you n..n..not drink before the concert...? I don't want you getting hurt."

Chris half smiled then swallowed a knot in his throat. He wiped his tears away and shook his head vigorously at the blonde's request.

"Anything for you baby...of course. Don't worry about me. I can hold my liquor pretty well, but I...I won't drink that day. Just uh...just give me the details. Where and what time honey?"

The bumbling rockstar got to his feet and leaned against the wall. There was a stack of blank post-it notes and a pen by the phone. He leaned against the wall and tried to keep the world from moving around so much and waited for the blonde's directions.

"Oh right...yeah I almost forgot...sorry."

Chester reached into his cargo pants and retrieved a quarter. Then quickly put it through the slot on the payphone to keep it from hanging up. He carefully gave the details of the band's upcoming event and even had Chris recite everything back, to make sure he didn't miss anything. Chester smiled and closed his eyes. Listening to Chris's slurred speech pattern was the best sound in the world right then. He remembered his scent, whiskey, cigarette smoke, and cologne and began to melt. He was about to say I love you when he heard Rob shout his name in the background.

"I'll be right there Robbie!"

Chester shouted back and held the receiver really close to his face. His whole body tingled as he began to feel the excitement begin to build in the pit of his stomach. I'm finally gonna tell him everything soon. Will he still love me after everything? After finding out I already have a family? After finding out Mike touches me? He rubbed the back of his neck with worry and cleared his throat.

"Well...I...I gotta go Chris. Robbie's waiting for me...I love you.

Chris felt a his heart thump little faster and carefully replied, before both men ended the quick phone call.

" I love you so much Chessie. I'm glad you called baby. I'll see you soon sweetie. "

Chester made a quick jog from the payphone, back to the ice cream shop from where Rob had been shouting his name. He felt an array of emotions trying to figure out how he would break the news to Chris. The young singer feared all the possible outcomes of his actions and felt a heavy sensation in the pit of his stomach. He knew telling him everything could possibly lead to the demise of their new relationship. Just the thought of it made him want to disappear.  
He swung the door to the ice cream shop open, and his nostrils were immediately assaulted by the scent of warm baked waffle cone. Chester closed his eyes, smiling at the sweet scent that calmed him. The walls were a pale pink with pictures of the delicacies a sweet shop had to offer. Ice cream cones, milkshakes, doughnuts, and coffee. The bright lighting inside gave the sweet shop a welcoming feeling that made him imagine himself entering every five year old girl's dream. All this place needed was some Barbie dolls and an easy bake oven.  
The young singer chuckled at the way Rob looked inside. He looked extremely out of place. Here was a 6'4" man wearing cargos, a skater's tee, and a wallet chain in a baby pink ice cream shop ordering two chocolate shakes. Rob turned to give him a playful glare, already knowing what Chester was giggling about. They both stared at the girl preparing their drinks, in silence. Well, at least Chester was. She wore a baby pink an white pin stripped apron over a light brown uniform. Perched upon her head was a soft serve ice cream swirl hat that she wore with a little shame. While their shakes took a trip around the noisy blender both her hands rested on the lid, causing her massive double D breasts to jiggle. Chester couldn't help but to state at them, surprised by their massive size. The poor girl looked like someone had glued two watermelons on her chest. He cringed a little at the thought of the amount of attention she must get due to her large breasts. I would hate to have big boobs. If Mike was here he would try to get her number and wouldn't stop making boob jokes. Asshole.  
He was mentally arguing with Mike when the girl making their milkshakes sat their drinks down on the counter in front of them. She gave Rob the total and he immediately gave her a ten dollar bill. I'm return She blushed and handed him his change with a charming smile. Both of them got their shakes and headed out towards Joe's car. Once inside and after sampling their sweet concoctions they sat in silence for a minute.

"Did you see that girl's boobs? They were...really big"

Chester exclaimed with wide eyes, then sipped on his shake.

"What girl?

Rob turned his head left and right, scanning the area for a large breasted girl. Chester gave him an amused look then furrowed his brows taking another sip of his chocolate shake.

" The one that made our milkshakes...It's kind of hard to miss Robbie. "

The drummer licked his lips and looked down at his lap. He hesitated a bit before speaking and making a confession.

"I...I was too busy... looking at you. "

Chester 's head snapped then he quickly checked his reflection in the rearview mirror. There were no boogers in his nose, no smudges on his glasses, no hair out of place. What could've possibly gotten Rob's attention the whole time they were there?

"Why...?"

Rob slowly glanced up and could feel his ears grow hot from what he was about to answer. He stared into Chester's eyes and said.

" she might of had big knockers, but...she doesn't have your eyes. "

The singer looked at him dumbfounded and felt blood rush to his cheeks. He frowned nervously and looked at his shake. What is he talking about? Does...does he like me?

"What...what do you mean Robbie?"

Rob swallowed his nervousness, took a deep breath and turned to look at Chester.

"I just, think you have very beautiful eyes. There just as beautiful as the rest of you. So whenever I get the chance to stare at them I do. Big boobs don't really do it for me."

Chester kept his eyes glued on the dashboard and felt himself blush. Was this Rob's way of telling him he had feelings for him? He began to shiver a little and kept quiet, hoping for the window of opportunity for him to speak would close. He glanced up at Rob and devoured him with his stare. His eyes traveled up and down his gentle giant. He smiled coyly, only then realizing he wasn't a bad looking man. He had broad shoulders, was really tall, had a handsome face, but most importantly he was a gentleman. The whole five days Rob had slept with him in his room, he never touched him inappropriately. Or never tried to get a peek at his naked body after showering. Whenever Mike spoke harshly at him Rob was the first one to stand up and out Mike in his place. He was a great listener and always checked on him when Chris wasn't around to do so. Rob was his carting guardian.  
He turned to smile at his gentle giant and they both shared a silent stare. If he wasn't already married and had a secret relationship with Chris, he would definitely be with Rob. His gentle giant smiled and reached for his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. There was a hint of sadness behind his stare. Almost as if he knew the dilemma Chester was in, and understood. The whole ride home was quiet, but not uncomfortable for both men. Each one was lost in their thoughts. Rob wondered what kissing Chester would be like, then frowned a little. Realizing the only place where he could kiss him, hold him, an be in a romantic relationship with him was in his own mind. Giving Chester a slight innocent hint of the feelings he harbored for him, made him feel as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It hurt to know he would never be with Chester the way he wanted to be, but it didn't matter. Despite the complex situation Chester was in, he still loved the blonde. 

==========================================================

Author's note

Okay guys, so this chapter was a little short, but I hope you all enjoy it. It also took me a little longer to publish it because I was a little busy this week. The following chapters will be a lot more eventful, and I'm getting closer to the end. Please feel free to comment and make suggestions. Have a good week everyone!


	22. Release Party (Part I)

The band's house was dead silent when the clock in the kitchen read 3am. The only sound that echoed quietly throughout the house was ticking of said clock, and a lonely cricket in the kitchen. Then suddenly the front door swung open welcoming a very frisky Rob and Chester. Rob giggled nervously, but was quickly silenced by the young singer who stood on the tips of his toes and pressed his lips against the drummer's. He moaned and pushed his tongue inside the gentle giant's mouth, feeling the smooth moist interior.   
A little startled but not at all bothered by the singer's actions, Rob backed into the door and let his large hands wonder feverishly over Chester's body. They explored the skin under his shirt and he lightly felt the singer's hard nipples. His basketball shorts felt uncomfortably tight and he couldn't take it any longer. He threw his head back feeling the petit singer's tongue on his collar bone, and his equally curious hands over his erection. Oh my God Ches... that feels so nice.

"Mmm...Ches...ter, not here. Let's go to the bedroom..." 

Rob bit his lower lip and took a slow deep breath to try to calm himself down. The singer nodded and tugged the drummer by the hand; leading the way to his bedroom. Once he was inside he gave the Rob's hand one last tug jerking him inside the bedroom with urgency. Chester glued his lips to his gentle giant who hummed happily against us hungry kiss. While one hand pressed the drummer against the door, the other searched for the knob then found the lock and turned it for privacy. Chester had Rob softly moaning with his legs buckling under his weight against the door. The needy blonde rubbed his body up and down against the gentle giant then broke the kiss to sugestively whisper in his ear.

"Make love to me Robbie, please. Please? "

Chester was inches away from his face when he began to pout and chew his lower lip. Rob looked down at him surprised by the direct request and felt a sudden rush of heat throughout his body, that was more than ready to please the beautiful blonde. He fell silent and watched Chester slowly undress himself down to his bare skin. I can't believe this really going to happen. He wants me to make love to him. The singer bit his lower lip and gave him a side eyed glance. He smiled coyly at his gentle giant than began to stroke himself slowly, giving Rob a private show. Rob's mouth was agape and he stared wide eyed at the singer, who continued to masturbate for his viewing pleasure. He's...gorgeous. Everything is so well proportioned. He's...The most beautiful man I've ever seen.

"Do you like what you see baby? Look at how much you turn me on Robbie. You make me so hard, I can hardly wait."

Rob was completely speechless, but nodded to Chester's first question. Do I like what I see? No, I love it. Just as he felt his erection stirring in his basketball shorts, he watched the singer tip toe to the bed. The once bare mattress they had both been sharing for the past week, now had an old transformers comforter from his childhood. Never, in a million years he thought this would be the comforter where he would be making love to his soulmate. The drummer gulped loudly as he watched Chester get on all fours. The blonde pressed his chest flat on the bed, but kept his butt in the air. He reached behind himself and spread his soft pale cheeks for Rob, presenting his rosy pink butthole to him. He turned his head and smiled bitting his lip.

"My body aches for you Rob. Please baby, take me. I know you want me. I've seen the way you look at me. "

The drummer slowly made his way to the willing singer who moaned in anticipation. He placed his hands over Chester's and carefully leaned in and began to lap his genitals. The blonde moaned loudly as Rob dragged his tongue over his scrotum then up his rectum several times. He continued to do this in a slow wiping motion as if he were an a animal grooming another. Rob hummed against Chester's entrance then gingerly probed him with his tongue, tasting his most intimate flavor. The singer moaned and gyrated his hips wanting more than just his drummer's tongue. 

"I can't wait any longer baby, my sweet Robbie...  
Make love to me. "

Rob gently withdrew his tongue from the singer's hole and licked his lips, getting one last taste from his lover. He smiled and him and pushed his basketball shorts passed his knees until they pooled around his feet. His member was saturated in precum and he was ready to take his soulmate. The drummer gave a short hip massage to his lover, then carefully used them steady himself. He took a deep breath in and slowly slid inside the yearning singer. Chester's warmth welcomed him, allowing Rob to penetrate him well past the tip. He exhaled and moaned his lover's name, feeling him tighten around his member . The singer became impatient and backed himself, burring all of Rob's girthy length inside himself. He wiggled around a little, smiling when he felt Rob's pubic hair pressing hard against his butt Cheeks.   
Rob looked down and gasped at the scene below him I'm...I'm inside of him...Oh my God, he feels so good. Chester slightly arched his back simultaneously sticking his butt up in the process, and began to lightly bounce on Rob's pulsing member. The drummer seemed hypnotized by the blonde's lustful actions and stood frozen. Chester moaned at every slow stroke he gave Rob with his sphincter, looked over his shoulder and licked his lips seductively. The drummer looked at him, still in shock that this was happening and slowly stroked Chester's perfect back.

"Fuck me Robbie. Pound me."

The giant nodded and squeezed his lover's hips a little harder, and began a painfully slow yet delicious rhythm. Chester felt amazing, his skin was so soft and lightly scented. His entrance was just right, tight ,wet, and hot. It pleasured Rob in the most perfect way; giving his large member the right amount of suction every time he was all the way inside. He bucked his hips a little harder then caught Chester's glance with his own. He saw a desperate longing behind those deep brown bedroom eyes.

"Harder Robbie. Please Don't hold back baby. I want it rough."

Rob nodded and gave in to Chester's pleas thrusting in and out a little harder than before. He grunted speeding up his rhythm, continuously slapping his groin against his lover's cheeks. 

"HARDER Robbie! FUCK ME HARDER!"

Chester's screams, his suffocating heat, and his demands for rougher sex soon became too much for the drummer. He was almost embarrassed to admit to himself, but he was extremely close to his release. This was all too hot. It was hotter than anything else he'd ever done with a woman. Chester was amazing in bed, he never thought that the shy, skinny soft spoken singer was a such a wild lover. No man had ever turned him on before, but with when he was around the singer he found it difficult to control his desire for him. He raised his hand and gave him a playful slap on one of his butt cheeks, before thrusting in a little harder. To this Chester responded by turning to look at him with lustful eyes. He bit his lips then in a sensual purring voice he said.

" I want you Robbie... cum inside me baby, please"

Rob grunted and slowed his rhythm, but put more force behind each thrust. The combination of sounds that echoed around the room played an erotic symphony, that had him on the edge of ultimate pleasure. Chester's heavy breathing, loud moans, and the wet sound of their privates slapping together finally brought him to his release. He gripped the singer's hips bucking his own so that he was buried deep inside, then released his boiling seed. Rob bit his lower lip to keep himself form screaming. Chester muffled his own moans by shoving his face in a pillow. Soon, the only things Rob could hear were the sounds of their breathing and his own erratic heartbeat in his ears.  
He leaned forward with his manhood still sheathed inside his lover, and lightly kissed his shoulder. Rob inhaled the blonde's distinctive sweet scent and smiled against his skin.

"I love you Ches. Would you...Would you maybe want to date, and see where this goes? I've never felt this way before."

Chester stood still with a blank look in his eyes.

"Rob...?"

The drummer smiled and looked over his lover's shoulder.

"Rob?"  
"Rob?"  
"Rob?"

Suddenly before the pleased drummer could get an answer from the beautiful blonde, the whole scene evaporated. He winced his eyes feeling a dull ache in his head, and a completely different scene appeared. He rubbed his eyes and saw the most beautiful face anyone could wake up to. Chester was hugging his pillow with a puzzled look on his face and staring at him with concern.

"R..R...Robbie...are you okay? I think you were having a nightmare. You were breathing really fast and g..g..grunting."

Rob rubbed his eyes again and sighed smiling. He reached up and gently pat the blonde's shoulder.

"I'm okay Ches. I was actually having a really...really good dream." 

Chester held his pillow tightly and simply nodded. The drummer gave him another warm smile recalling his oddly realistic dream. He wondered what the singer would actually be like during intimacy, when he noticed the singer's features display hints of worry. 

"Ches, what's wrong? You look a little nervous."

Rob sat up and readjusted himself in the bed when he felt something wet and gooey in his boxers. What the?...oh my God, why now? Shit! He cringed at the realization that his "oddly realistic" dream actually turned out to be a wet dream. The drummer curiously looked at his band mate who was lost in his own thoughts.

"It's just that....well...it's out first real concert tonight, under a whole new name. I'm...I'm kind of scared. What if I mess up like the night we got signed and Mike hurts me? What if he hurts me really bad and and....?"

Chester's voice broke then he hid his face in his pillow and began to cry. Rob stared at him unsure of what to do. He wanted to hold and comfort the blonde, but he also didn't want to run the risk of accidentally smearing cum on him. Or having Chester find out He had a wet dream. He's gonna think I'm some of of perv. He readjusted himself on the bed and felt the lukewarm goo soiling the inside of his boxers. Oh shit! Then when he least expected it, Chester leaned towards him and threw his arms around his neck and held on to him. He sniffed and wrapped into the crook of his gentle giant's neck. Oh no he's gonna know I had a wet dream. Oh Ches, why now honey?

"I'm freaking out Robbie. I mean I'm happy, but...I'm afraid of what will happen tonight."

The drummer gave in to Chester's panicked embrace, and wrapped his arms around him returning a loving hug. Rob hesitated a while before finally deciding to cradle the singer's head with one of his large hands. He gently massaged his scalp and quietly hushed the shivering man in his arms.

"Hey it's okay Ches, everything's gonna be okay. You're just have a little stage fright , that's all. Just take a few deep breaths okay? We're going to be fine. I know you'll do great Ches, you're a fantastic singer. You can do this." 

The singer stirred around and all Rob heard in between his quiet sobs was a muffled okay. He stayed this way with the beautiful sweet blonde for a while until his crying eventually died down. Chester slowly pulled away from the caring hug and removed his tear stained glasses. He sat there quietly and removed his glasses to dry them up with his t-shirt. Rob stared at him and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. It still smelled like the singer's cornsilk curls, the scent automatically brought a timid smile to the drummer's face. He glanced up just in time to catch the blonde carefully placing his glasses back on his face. Waking up next to you is a gift Ches. I love stating at your face, feeling your soft skin, smelling your hair for a long time before I fall asleep every night. I love the sound of your voice and your smile. That smile could melt a glacier. Rob sighed smiling then felt a familiar tightness in his boxers, which snapped him out of his daydream. Oh Fuck...not this again.

"Listen Ches, I really gotta take a shower. Get ready for today you know? Um...if you need to talk some more I'm all ears. Okay?"

Chester smiled sheepishly and nodded.   
"Thank you Robbie."

He watched Rob grab his towel and a fresh pair of boxers, then quickly head for the bathroom. Chester sat alone on his mattress and traced the faded print of the optimus prime transformer on a pillow case. A small smile spread across his face when he thought about how kind Rob had always been to him. His room didn't look so empty anymore, not since the gentle giant had been keeping him company. He had given him his old sheets, gotten a full length mirror, and a little night stand from his room. The best part was that he didn't have to sleep alone anymore in fear and danger. Chester frowned slightly knowing this wasn't going to last forever. How long was Rob going to be his keeper? He could only hope that he could protect him at least until tonight. The troubled singer nibbled at his nails realizing he was finally coming clean to Chris tonight. How am I even supposed to start? What do I say? He's not going to want to be with me anymore.  
He thought about talking a shower after Rob, but immediately regret it. What if Mike touches me again? Chester furrowed his brows and decided to get dressed instead. He darted to his old suitcase and pulled out some sand colored cargo pants, and a red tee shirt with some Japanese writing on it. He slipped into his clothes leaving out underwear again. His hands went over a black belt with eyelits and he picked it up; automatically feeling a little safer after threading it through the loops in his pants. He slipped his feet into a pair of black skate shoes, and slowly made his way towards the full length mirror to study his reflection. I look goofy...too skinny...ugly.  
Averting his eyes from his own reflection he quickly grabbed a bit of hair gel ,and combed it through his hair with his fingers. He gently tugged on the ends of it trying his best to spike small sections of it. He looked at himself again, and shrugged at his reflection. I look ok...I guess. He turned his head and looked over at the tiny clock on the night stand 10:00am... I guess I better have breakfast.  
Chester made his way to the door turned the knob, and prepared himself to leave the room without Rob for the first time that week. He walked quietly with his head hanging down, when he suddenly felt a pair of rough hands pull him back. Before he could realize what was happening he was spun and slammed against the wall on the hallway. He hesitated to raise his glance, but when he finally Did he saw Mike. His bright red hair was spiked up perfectly, and he wore dark gray coveralls. Chester began to weep silently, expecting another beating. As he cried he could smell one of Mike's best colognes that he only wore for important occasions. The singer kept his eyes on the floor fearing the emcee's actions. The half Asian leaned in close and began to whisper harshly into Chester's ear.

"Tonight, you're mine. I'm gonna fuck your tight little asshole like there's no tomorrow. I'm gonna gape your ass and cum in you and make you scream my name. You can't avoid me forever baby. I've kept your dirty little secret long enough without you keeping your end of the deal. If you don't let me fuck you I'll sing like a canary before our show. I'll let the whole world know you're a little fag and Chris Cornell's Fuck toy. Rob can't help you here Chazzy. "

Chester began to sob and shiver from the emcee's horrifying statement. Mike was right. He Did make a deal with him and he hadn't been cuddling, or kissing him this whole week like he said he would. He sniffed loudly and forced his glance back up to meet the emcee's slanted eyes.

"I said I would do it Mike, I'm just scared...is it...is it going to hurt? You won't...you won't hurt me right?"

Mike leaned a little closer, and gingerly ran the tip of his nose over Chester's sharp jaw line. He began to give gentle kisses over the same spots he'd traced before.

"I don't know baby you got me having withdraws. I'm hungry for you. I need to feel you from the inside. I might loose control and just...tear that ass up...make it bleed a little."

Chester trembled and cried a little louder, and instinctively covered his mouth to muffle his sounds.

"N...n...n...no Mike...no..no don't hurt me...please...please....I'm sorry."

The emcee leaned in closer and pressed his body against the petrified blonde. He pressed his lips against his cheek and inhaled his sweet aroma.

"I'll try to be gentle baby, I'll try. It will be hard though since you've been nothing but a tease this week. Can't you uh...give me a little taste of what I've been missing. Kiss me." 

Chester nodded ,closed his eyes, and slightly pouted his lips. He waited expecting a soft peck, when he suddenly felt Mike give him a deep, soft, opened mouth kiss. He moaned against the singer's lips and cupped his face tenderly, confusing Chester. Mike says cruel hurtful things to him, but then gives him passionate soap opera type kisses. Chester slowly opened his eyes and for the first time saw how much the emcee was enjoying himself. He'd never seen Mike be so sincere, so calm, and so happy.


	23. Release Party (Part II)

Chris inspected his reflection on his rearview mirror one more time, for the twentieth time that night. He ruffled his hair a bit and winced at himself while a cigarette hung lazily from his lips. I guess that will do. He thought to himself, pleased with his carefree loose styled hair. Then he raised one of his arms to check the scent of his armpits and smiled once again pleased with himself. Maybe just a little more...then I'm good to go. Chris reached over to his glove compartment and took out a blue and silver stick of deodorant. He quickly uncapped it and applied another generous coat under both pits. Usually he was pretty calm when he knew he would be seeing Chester, but tonight things were different. He felt anxious and wanted to look his best for his boyfriend, whom he hadn't seen for a week. Chris had been sleepless for the past three nights since his last phone call with his lover. The thought of all the possible things Chester was going to open up about drove him crazy. So naturally, the only thing he knew to do in a situation like this was drink and smoke.   
He reached under his seat and pulled out the infamous whiskey bottle, but hesitated to open it. He stared at it for a minute debating with himself, but then twisted the cap off and tilted it back taking a long satisfying drink. It stung all the way down soothing his nerves.

"Sorry Chessie...It's just to take the edge off a little. I'm not doing it to get wasted this time."

He explained, as if the blonde was sitting there next to him. Chris tilted the bottle back and took another mouthful of the burning liquid. Then turned to look at the dozen red roses that took Chester's usual spot on the passenger side. He placed a large hand over the bouquet making the cellophane around it crinkle.

"Everything will end up alright."

Chris looked at his watch then out at the flower shop he was parked next to, and exhaspirated. He turned the key in the ignition bringing the engine to life with a loud roar, and peeled off the parking spot. He dodged several cars on the road and sped through all green lights like a pro. He flashed a toothy grin at the road, and when he hit the highway it slowly faded. His thoughts matched his speed behind the wheel and he couldn't shake away the feeling that Chester would probably leave him. Maybe all this was just a fling to him. Chris pushed his foot further down causing his muscle car to zoom faster; giving the illusion that every other cars on the freeway was standing still.  
  
While the rockstar sped through the highway a few miles away, Chester and the rest of the band were getting ready for their first official concert. Rob sat on a small couch with his drum sticks and played a fast up beat rhythm on a cardboard box in front of him. Brad and Dave plucked at their instruments while they sat on a couch adjacent to their drummer. They were discussing their parts on the opening song, and we're currently making last minute adjustments. Joe ate a family sized bag of Doritos, while Chester stood next to him nervously bitting his nails.

"You sure you don't want some Chazzy? You've puked like four times already."

Joe pushed the large red bag towards the singer's chest, to which he responded by shaking his head with shifty eyes.

"I can't. Any food or drink will make me throw up again Joey. I'm so nervous. What if I forget the lyrics? What if they laugh?"

The deejay studied the shivering blonde and licked cheese dust from his fingers. He gave him a sympathetic look after noticing his yellow complexion and the two purple rings under his eyes. The singer shivered and chewed on his thumbnail thinking about what he actually feared. Mike penetrating him.

" Hey don't worry about that Chaz, we're a new band with a new crowd. People won't know if you mess up or not. We will, but the audience wont. Plus you always sound great. "

Joe gave him a friendly nudge, and Rob stopped drumming on the box. Chester stood still, persistently chewing on his thumbnail until Rob made his way to him. He took both of his hands and nested them in his own. Then craned his head and searched for the singer's eyes.

"Joe's right Ches...you're gonna be fine. You have a beautiful voice, like an angel. Everyone will love you, how can they not?"

Rob slowly pulled him into a tender hug, making sure to press one side of Chester's face to his chest. He hushed him while the scared blonde sobbed quietly. Joe raised a brow and gave them a confused look. This...is so weird. Rob can be really gay sometimes. The deejay slowly shifted his stare from the two "close" friends towards Brad and Dave. Who had stopped plucking their instruments to give the pair the same look he had been giving them. Well, except for Dave. Dave had a cheeky smile and he nodded in approval. Joe shrugged and mouthed "what the fuck?" in Brad and Dave's direction, with Brad returning the shrug and Dave just smiling.  
The drummer kissed Chester's blonde spikes earning a quiet gasp from Joe, and squeezed him a little tighter.

"Ches, there's something I want you to have."

Rob cleared his throat and used one hand to dig through his cargo shorts. He pulled his hand out that was now balled up into a fist. The singer softly pulled away from the gentle hug and extended his hand, ready to receive whatever the drummer had for him. Rob unfurled his long fingers over Chester's palm and dropped a simple black steel ring. Chester stood still and examined it, confused.

"What's this Robbie?"

Rob smiled and picked up the ring again, then flipped Chester's hand. He looked into his bandmates's eyes keeping his stare there, then gently slid the singer's middle finger through the ring.

"It's a ring to remind you that I'll always be here. It's...a friendship ring, but if you ever change your mind about it's meaning...you can always place it on your ring finger."

The drummer blushed and looked away while he gently rubbed the singer's knuckles with his thumb. Chester stood there with his mouth agape and his mind clean of any thoughts. Rob held on to the sliver of hope that perhaps one day he could be with Chester. That every morning the first thing he would see would be those lovely chestnut brown eyes, but he didn't hold his breath. After all, he knew Chester's life was complicated.

"Ches, no matter what you decide to do with yourself...I'll always care about you." I'll always love you, even if we're not together. My heart will always be open for you.

Chester's tears had stopped, and their wet streaks were almost dry. He looked at the ring and smiled through his sadness at his gentle giant. Oh Robbie, why didn't you say something sooner? I'm with someone else. I'm with Chris. My baby, that should be here any minute.

"I love it Robbie. It's beautiful. I'll always keep it close. Th...th...thank you for being so sweet to me."

Chester smiled and wrapped his arms around the tall drummer, who smiled but looked misty eyed. He stroked his back, happy to hold the blonde when the door to their dressing room swung. wide open. Mike came in loudly with a small amplifier on one hand an a long cable wound up on the other.

"Alright guys were on in thirty minutes! We don't really have a stage crew, so we're supposed to set up our own shit! I hope you've actually been warming up and not dicking around, because it's mine and Chester's turn to warm up!" 

Mike angrily placed the amplifier on the floor and then carelessly threw the cable by it. Brad looked at the amplifier and furrowed his brows at the emcee who kicked it in frustration.

"Is that mine!?"

Brad asked annoyed and concerned, gesturing to the amp on the floor. Mike grabbed another amp from under a folding chair, and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He shoved the amp into Brad's chest and casually glanced at him.

"No it's mine, but it kept messing up so thankfully I got a packed a backup. All of you go set up your shit on stage. Make sure everything sounds right. I'll be there in a bit. I gotta do some warm ups with Chazzy."

Everyone looked at each other and nodded heading out the door and to the stage. Rob was the last to leave but kept his glare glued on Mike until the door shut. Something didn't seem right. Mike flashed a malicious grin at Chester who began to cower back against the wall. The emcee undressed him with his eyes and licked his lips lustfully.

"Pull your pants down, get on all fours, and spread your cheeks."

Chester trembled and began to sob. He shook his head frantically and hugged himself in an attempt to stop the emcee from hurting him. His knees buckled under his weight and the fear that was beginning to take over him. Mike unzipped the crotch area of his coveralls and pulled his throbbing member out. He stroked it a few times then took his glance away from his upcoming victim that was now on the floor, to look at his manhood. The hungry emcee reached into one of his pockets and took out a small red packet of lube, and an ultra thin condom.

"Do as I say baby and it won't hurt, just take it. Please give us a chance"

Chester winced and continued to cry hugging himself. He felt like he was going to wet himself from the intense fear Mike was causing him. Why me? Why? Please not this again.

" P...please...don't do this Mike.   
Why...do you want to do this to me? "

Mike frowned and casted his gaze down at his erect member. He cried as he rolled the ultra thin condom on. The emcee then took the lube packet and bit the corner of it. Clear, unscented thick goo oozed out. He cradled his penis with one hand and squeezed the packet with the other, evenly applying a fat line of lube on his cock. Chester noticed there were countless tears rolling down his cheeks and suddenly felt a little confused. Mike sniffed and brought his glance back to the singer.

"I asked you to be my boyfriend Chazzy, but you turned me down. You wouldn't even give me a chance. You fuck Chris, Rob and everyone, but me. I want you, and all you've done is tease me. You make me feel like a fool. I've wanted you since you walked through my front door and slept on my couch. I'd watch you sleep and touch myself right in front of you every night, since. I knew you would never give me the chance to prove to you how good we can be together. If you did, then you would realize how much you want me too. Since you won't give me that chance...I have to take it from you."

There was a psychotic mixture of anger, desire, and sorrow reflecting out of Mike's eyes that ignited a different kind of fear in Chester. Mike walked closer to him, and just when he was inches away from his face he reached in his pant pocket again. And pulled out what looked like a distressed wad of brown rope. Chester felt all his blood pool at his feet when he realized what the sex crazed emcee was holding.

"Look baby, after Dave cut your hair I picked up some of your dreads. I always keep them in my pocket so I can be close to you. So I can smell you"

Chester sobbed in horror and covered his mouth to hold back a yelp. The emcee took the dreads out, placed them under his nose and sniffed them desperately. The way he sniffed and licked each dread reminded the blonde of a bloodhound in search of food. Mike began to frantically rub the dreads all over his face while he simultaneously stroked himself. Much to Chester's disgust he seemed to get even more aroused than before. The emcee casted a disturbed glance in his direction with tears still in his eyes.

"can't you see baby? We're meant to be. "

Chester felt his skin crawl and he tried to back himself further into the wall; once he realized Mike had gotten on all fours and was now making his way towards him. The blonde's panicked stare shot from the emcee's deranged face down to the dangling member between his legs. His glossy stiff member bounced with each slow creeping movement.

"M..M...Mike you need help. Please don't do this, don't rape me. Don't hurt me...please Mike."

The emcee was now only an inch away from the singer's face, and he sniffed him with the lust only an insane obsessed admirer would understand. He brought his hand up and gently cupped the singer's cheek. Amidst the cocktail of emotions stirring in Mike's eyes Chester could see a hint of love swimming in them. It was almost invisible as if once upon a time the emcee did fall for him, but somehow along the way everything got distorted and tainted by something dark. He almost felt bad for him. The emcee got closer and lightly kissed his jawline.

"it's not rape if it doesn't hurt baby. Now take your pants off, and spread your cheeks wide for me. I'll make it quick."

A part of him wanted to believe Mike, but it still meant he didn't want this. He pitied Mike, but he also feared him. He remembered all the beatings, hair pulling, and name calling he took from Mike and cringed. Chester sobbed quietly and began to un-buckle his belt and unzip his pants. He felt a heavy dreadful feeling wash over him as he reveled his nude bottom to Mike. He took his time getting on his hands and knees and mentally prepared himself to be humiliated, and violated one more time in his life. There would be so much to deal with afterwords. No amount of therapy or drugs would ever get rid of the way he would see himself from that point on. Nothing or anyone would be able to fix the break that Mike was about to cause. He knew the feeling much too well. There was only one thing he could plea for at this point.

"Don't hurt me....Mike"

He cringed feeling Mike's hands softly spread his cheeks, then his hot gooey member searching for his entrance.

"I won't baby, It's nice and slick just for you. Just stay very still."

Burning tears spilled as he felt the emcees penis begin to stretch his tight pucker. Chester frowned, feeling vulnerable and ashamed. Then felt a rush of fear and disgust when Mike was halfway inside. There was wet squeezing noise that came from behind him as the emcee penetrated him a little deeper. When suddenly the door to the dressing room flew open and there was a sudden loud blast beside Mike. The blonde instinctively curled himself into a ball by the wall, and looked at the emcee who was stunned. Chester's eyes darted around the room looking for the cause of the blast when he saw Chris. He was standing still with a bouquet of red roses in one hand, a cigarette in his mouth, and his smoking revolver pointed at Mike. He squinted his green eyes and glared at the emcee, who remained frozen on the floor with his penis fully exposed.

"I ain't no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. Put that little egg roll away before I shoot it off."

Chris pointed his gun at the emcee's cock, and exhaled white cigarette smoke through his nostrils. While Mike obeyed trembling with fear, the rockstar calmly searched for his boyfriend with his glance. He felt somewhat relieved when he saw he had crawled far away from Mike.

"Listen here you little shit stain, I never miss. That was a warning shot so you better tell me the truth. How long have you been raping Chester for?"

Mike stood petrified on the ground and he stuttered as he spoke.

"I've never raped him...I would never hurt him...we're... we're in a relationship...We we're just about to make lov..."

Chris clenched his jaw then fired another shot denting the linoleum between Mike's legs. He inhaled sharply then turned his head and spat his cigarette on the floor, and stepped on what was left putting the cherry out.

"I call bullshit! You have one more chance to tell me what the fuck is going on before I shoot your dick off!"

Mike trembled, finally believing Chris wasn't anyone to mess with. He opened his mouth but the words wouldn't come out. He began to stutter, while somewhere in the room Chester's whimpers could be heard.

"Chris...please don't shot him baby. He's...he's sick. He's not worth it. Please don't kill him. Please."

Chris kept his glare on the emcee who was now wetting himself. He rested his finger on the trigger. He breathed steadily and momentarily glanced at Chester, who was on his knees in tears while he begged him to spare Mike.

"Chessie. Since our perv over here has gone mute, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?

Chester frowned and placed both palms on his face in shame. He didn't want to say anything just yet, but it was now or never. Chris had a gun and was seeing red, someone's life other than his own was in danger. No matter how embarrassing, no matter how much it hurt. He had to finally speak.

" Mike... Mike...Mike has been molesting me. He's been using a recording of us having sex to...to blackmail me. If I didn't let him rape me he would tell everyone you and I are together. I didn't want him to do that because, because it would ruin your life."

The singer broke down crying. He curled up into a ball and began to rock back and forward in an attempt to soothe himself. Chris glared at the emcee, who seemed to be surprised by the way everything was backfiring on him. He squeezed the trigger on his revolver lightly, not quite pulling it yet. When out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the band members launch himself at Mike.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Rob screamed before sprinting and throwing himself at Mike who put his arms up to cover himself. The drummer crashed his fists against the emcee's face. Blood, tears, and spit splattered on the floor while Rob went berserk on the man who had been hurting his love for the past year. The rest of the band stared in shock at the scene that spontaneously unfolded before their eyes. Their glances all went between their sobbing singer, and the drummer who was beating on their emcee... well, like a drum. Dave started at Rob and realized he wasn't going to stop, even from a distance he could tell he was furious.

"Guys...we should get Rob off of Mike."

Dave glanced at Brad and Joe who nodded their heads frantically. The three remaining band members quickly made their way to the band's giant, who was furiously pounding his fists against their emcee. All three men made their best effort to pry Rob off of Mike, while Chester still sobbed in the corner of their dressing room. Chris slowly made his way to his boyfriend and knelt down in front of him. He stuffed the revolver behind his back inside his pants and squeezed the blonde's shoulder. 

"Hey baby, look. These are for you."

The rockstar pushed the bouquet of red roses towards his lover, causing him to look up. Chris saw the shame and sadness in Chester's eyes he had seen many times before and finally understood where it came from. Everything finally made sense and he pulled him into a tight hug. Chester took the roses and melted in Chris' arms while he rocked him.

"Everything's gonna be okay baby. Shhhh."

Chester looked up at his hero, tilted his head and captured his plump lips with his own. With a simple kiss they pretended to erase all the bad things that had ever happened in their lives. They stayed there kissing passionately. Exchanging the sweet spit of love, and in a room full of chaos time seemed to stop for the two songbirds.   
Once the rest of the band members managed to pull their drummer off of Mike; they all started at the peaceful lovers on the floor. Rob gulped and felt a knot forming in his throat while the other's simply realized the complexity of their singer situation.

"I'm sorry man."

Dave squeezed Rob's shoulder feeling sorry for his long time friend. He could see the heartache and the let down written all over his face. The drummer sniffed and wiped his eyes before any tears ever left, and tried to keep a serious emotionless face.

"It's okay. As long as he's with someone that loves him, and makes him happy. I will always love you Chester. I'll always be here, waiting.

Brad looked around at everyone and exchanged a shrug with Joe. The two men cleared their throats trying to get everyone's attention, but they were no match for Chris and Chester's public display of affection. Joe cleared his throat a little louder and spoke up.

"Um...guys...everyone. We're on in like...five minutes so...what are we going to do? Mike looks like he got hit by a car and Chaz has been going through hell. Are we still performing?"

The deejay asked curiously, snapping everyone back into reality. Chris pulled away from Chester's lips breaking their sweet kiss, and cupped the blonde s face. The singer wiped his eyes and put on a broken smile.

"Thank you for everything Chris, I have a show to put on."

Chester tried to get to his feet, but then felt the rockstar's hand on his forearm.

"Baby no! You're coming home with me. Are you seriously going to perform right now? You were almost raped. You need a hospital and some rest.

Rob walked a little closer to the couple ready to show some support.

" Ches, Chris is right. You need rest. You've been through enough."

Chester looked up and glanced at Rob then Chris. He chuckled and got to his feet then dusted himself off.

"I appreciate your concern guys, I really do. I'm grateful to have you in my life, but those people out there are waiting for a show. They came here to see Linkin Park. We can't let them down. We have to nurture our fan base. They're important you guys. They're here to have fun, and nothing will stop us from putting on a killer show tonight. So...what do you say? Whose with me?"

Everyone in the room stared at the young blonde who seemed determined to sing. Smiles slowly appeared on everyone's face as they all raised their hands, admiring Chester's passion. Even Mike. He was bruised and bloodied up on the floor with a black eye, but managed to stumble to his feet.One by one the band members all left for the stage. Chester was about to leave when Chris hooked his arm around his waist, and pulled him in for a kiss. The couple chuckled happily and pecked each other's lips once more.

"I'll watch you from backstage baby. Break a leg Chessie."

Chester jogged away smiling and Chris leaned still on the door frame. Just as a blood soaked Mike passed by he took out his revolver, and pointed it at the emcee. Mike slightly flinched and froze when he saw one of the the rockstar's twinkling eyes behind the sight of the gun. He had a wide maniacal grin that gave him chills.

"I've got my eye on you, boy."

Mike gulped and walked away fearing for his life, while Chris walked only a few steps behind him.


	24. Out of the closet and into the light

*Three days later*

Chris had drawn all the curtains back in his luxurious living room; letting the early morning sunshine in. There was a soft cool breeze that drafted into the area, and swirled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee. The space was quiet with only the sound of impending truth and the chirping of birds outside. Chris drank from his coffee mug and gave a curious stare to his lover that was now hugging himself far away from him. He looked worried with a hint of shame, which made Chris uneasy.

"Baby, you're starting to scare me. After everything you told me Mike would do to you, what else could you possibly have to tell me now? What could be worse than rape and abuse? Please just say it."

Chris got up from his spot on the couch that was on the opposite end of the room, and carefully sat down on the marble coffee table in front of his lover. He observed him and was shivering the way he did hundreds of times before, when fear took over his small body. Chris reached over and clasped his young lover's hand causing him to raise his head.

"I know I have to tell you. It's the right thing to do but, it will hurt you."

It was inevitable not notice Chester's sudden sickly pale complexion. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost. Chris was certain that he already knew of the worst things that tormented his lover, or so he thought. So whatever was troubling the blonde now just had to be much more worse. But what? He sipped his bitter black coffee and fought the urge to light a cigarette. With his mind racing Chris took a deep breath and tried his best to remain calm. Then massaged the back of his neck with the same hand he'd used to soothe his lover earlier.

"Chessie. I can handle it, please just tell me."

Chester bit his lip to keep from losing control, and glued his glance down at the floor. He wrapped his arms around himself and swallowed his own fears. 

"You're going to hate me Chris."

The troubled singer felt worse now than before, when he had to tell Chris he'd been beaten and molested by Mike. This was worse than telling him he'd also been raped as a child. It was worse than divulging his deepest darkest fears because no matter what embarrassing or hurtful thing he had to confess to his lover, nothing could cause the end of their relationship. Except for this. This could wreck everything they had built in such a short amount of time. This was unacceptable. How do I tell him? Should I just say it plain and simple? 'Hey Chris, I'm sorry to break your heart but there's someone else.'? I can't do this.  
Chester rocked himself back and forward and searched for the right way to say what he needed to say. I don't want to loose you Chris, but I have to tell you. He brought his glance back up and stared into Chris' sea foam green eyes, and took in all their beauty. Accepting, but dreading the possibility that this would probably be the last time he would ever see them again. He suddenly felt remorse when he realized the sadness and the fear that was coming through the rockstar's dozy stare. Chris reached for his hand and squeezed it once again reassuringly.

"Listen Chester, there's nothing that you can say or do that will make me stop loving you. I will always love you baby, do you understand? You can trust me. It's okay."

Chester simply nodded with doubt swimming in his mind. He took a long deep breath and exhaled, shivering but ready to break the news.

"I...I..I'm married... to a woman, and we have a one year old together. His name's Draven."

Chris' stare fell to the floor along with the hand he had been keeping on his lover. Pain and disappointment veiled his face. The young singer tried to keep his trembling voice from breaking, while he continued to reveal the details of his last confession.

"I was working a lot back in Arizona. Grocery stores, factories, fast food joints. You name it. I was even in a band on the side, but I still gave my son everything he needed. I gave her everything I could to keep her happy, but love isn't enough when you want everything. She said she saw potential in me as a musician so she kicked me out, and told me to come back when I had a record deal. I came to L.A met Mike and his band and crashed on his couch for a while...then I met you and we fell in love."

Chester glanced up and felt his heart shatter into a billion pieces when he realized his wild lover wasn't holding him like he usually did. Instead, he had sat his coffee mug down and calmly but solemnly lit a cigarette. He inhaled the smoke and Chester could tell he was holding back tears from the way he began to cough. Chris quickly glanced at him, but brought his glance back down just as quick. Chester caught a glimpse of pain and sorrow behind his favorite verdant pools, and immediately regretted everything he'd just said. I guess this is Goodbye Chris...

"Do you...do you love her?"

Chris hunched over defeated, as he spoke with the weight of reality crushing him and avoided looking at the blonde. There was something in him that was shattered and it made him feel so insecure. There was no guarantee that the love of his life would stay. There was nothing he could do to keep Chester from suddenly leaving, it was like trying to hold water with both hands forever. Eventually his young lover would slip through his fingers and abandon him. He couldn't bring himself to look up at the man who had stolen his heart and was currently stomping on it. He had to be strong. 

"I did. Once upon a time, but that love for her has been gone for a while now. It started to fade away way before I came to L.A when I saw how materialistic she was. When I caught her staring at and talking to other men. Men that were nothing like me. These buff macho type guys who don't cry when they're hurt..."

Chester confessed and searched for Chris' eyes. When he realized the rockstar was avoiding his stare, the young singer felt a painful stab in the centre of his chest. He's mad at me, and hurt. I'm so sorry baby Chris inhaled through his cigarette again, desperately seeking comfort in the sweet smoke.

"Have you...have you at least hold her that you're gay? Does she at least know that much?"

Chris opened his mouth and let the smoke flow out freely instead of forcing it out like he usually did. He closed his eyes and swallowed back a sob. Keep it together Chris. It's gonna be okay. You're not losing him. This isn't happening again. Someone didn't just fall on your lap to be ripped away like this. Don't cry. Don't cry. Chester carefully observed each of Chris' movements, and felt a few hot tears leave his eyes, taking away some of bitterness that plagued his body.

"We haven't spoken in almost a whole year. I haven't seen my little boy this whole time. I haven't heard anything from them."

Chris nodded slowly and took another long drag from his cigarette. As he exhaled the white smoke he prepared himself for what he was about to say, and made a mental note to be honest but gentle. He held back a few tears then slowly began to speak.

"I know what it's like to be cheated on. I've felt that pain before. The endless loneliness and the feeling of worthlessness that haunts you every minute of every miserable day. The insecurity and the constant feeling of 'Why wasn't I enough'. I...I don't want to be a home wrecker Chester. I don't want someone else to feel that pain. I don't want to be the reason a child is left fatherless. I don't want to be the reason why there's a woman out there with a broken heart."

The rockstar held his breath to keep his tears from spilling and his voice from breaking. His mind and heart were having a mortality battle while his lover stared at him in shock and disbelief. He inhaled more smoke and looked down at his worn out combat boots, that reminded him of all the bullshit he'd ever been through. Life hadn't been too kind to him, so a regular pair of shoes just wouldn't do. He always wore combat boots because life's a fucking battle, and right now a huge truth bomb had just been dropped on him. Will I make it out of this one? This boy is crushing my heart. Does he plan on going back to her?

He thought he was about to crumble under the pressure. When Chester's wails and loud sobs pulled him out of his train of thought, to remind him that the most vulnerable person in the room wasn't himself. It was Chester. His Chester. The Chester he would speed through the highway at 120mph for. The one he'd kill for. The one he would die for. The one he would live for. The only man he'd ever love in a romantic sense, without shame or guilt. Without ever holding back. He cleared his throat and watched Chester bury his head between his legs and begin to weep violently. 

"You... You said there was nothing I could say or do for you to stop loving me. Does this mean... Does this mean we're over? I..I..I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Chris. I never wanted to hurt you."

Watching Chester finally break before him made his heart bleed. Oh baby no don't cry. What the fuck what have I done? I'm not breaking up with you baby..no no no. Chris quickly put his cigarette out on a marble stone ashtray that matched the table he'd been sitting on, and made his way over to his lover. He wrapped his muscular arms around the blonde and squeezed him firmly.

"I meant what I said before. I love you so much Chester. I need you by my side baby. I'm not leaving you, but you're going to have to tell your wife about us at some point. It's the right thing to do. We can't love each other in secret."

Chester leaned into his lover's embrace and allowed himself to cry in his arms. He pressed one side of his face against his lover's chest, and listened to the steady beat of his heart that lived inside. Chris' heart was an ocean, and the blood that pumped inside were it's calming waves. The slow yet strong rhythm pacified him let him know everything was going to be okay. Chris kissed his spiky blonde hair and simultaneously rubbed his back with one large warm hand.

"I just... I feel like an asshole for destroying your marriage."

The blonde snapped his head up and flashed his glass-like, chocolate brown eyes at his lover. His lips tugged down more and trembled. He seemed baffled by the fact that Chris was blaming himself for the fallout with his wife, that pre dated their relationship.

"Chris you didn't do anything wrong. My marriage had been falling apart way before I met you. Sam kicked me out. This isn't your fault. I wasn't expecting to find love out here. It just... happened. I..I..."

Chester frowned and pressed his face against his palms. He curled into himself and fell apart in the rockstar's muscular arms. Why couldn't I've met Chris before Sam? Why couldn't I just come out of the closet earlier in life? Now everything is a fucked up mess and it's all my fault. Chris bit his bottom lip and searched around the room for something clever to say. For anything to ease Chester's pain. His eyes fell on Tiffany on the couch on the opposite side of the room where he had sat before. For a minute he thought about playing something for the crying boy in his arms, but then dismissed the thought all together. Instead something better came to mind.

He thought about his days with Soundgarden, and how much freedom and comfort he found in taking long roadtrips to nowhere after their tours. Perhaps that's what Chester needed after working so hard and going through traumatic bullshit for years. He was in dire need of a break. Chris smiled and gently shook his small frame in an attempt to get his attention.

"Hey baby, look at me...look at me. Let's take a trip. Just you and me baby, would you like that? 

The young singer looked up and gave him a puzzled look, wet streaks ran down his face along with tears that just wouldn't stop flowing. The rockstar softly graced his fingers over his lover's face and looked into his boyish stare. He cupped his cold wet cheek and used a long thin thumb to wipe away his salty tears. Chris offered a warm smile and hoped that Chester would feel a little more at ease with his simple but affectionate gestures.

"Everything's gonna be okay. I'll always love you Chester. No matter what you say, no matter what you do...you'll always own my heart baby."

Chester smiled happily through his tears, like a child who receives candy after falling down. His innocent stare and grin was infectious and it brought a smile out of his lover. The young blonde got to his knees and coiled his long skinny arms around his charming rockstar. Chris began to chuckle and pecked his boyfriend countless times in every spot on his face, making Chester giggle. He looked into the most beautiful green eyes he'd ever seen and sighed as his glance slowly made it's way down to Chris' perfect pouty lips. Then down to his groomed goat tee. (I love the way he stares at me. He makes me feel like most important person in the world)

"Where would we go?"

Chester twisted his mouth and looked down curiously at the floor. He twiddled his thumbs coyly and felt his cheeks growing hot.

"Anywhere you want. I got the car, booze, money, gas, and the sweetest person to ride by my side. Pick a direction and that's where we'll go"

Chris reached over and gently pinched Chester's chin to bring his stare back up. Then gave him a heartwarming smile that melted the young singer. Chester searched in his heart and immediately found the answer. Ever since he moved to L.A he remembered how crazy the weather had always been. In one day you could have sun, wind, or a cold thunderstorm. Much to his misfortune he was always caught in the shittiest weather, usually the cold rainy type. The only thing he missed from home was the constant heat that helped regulate his thin body's temperature. 

"Somewhere warm. Somewhere sunny. I'm always cold out here, even on what L.A refers to as sunny days still makes me shiver. As a matter of fact, I'm a little cold right now."

Chester smiled then hugged himself shivering a little. Chris raised his eyebrows then looked around the room for a throw blanket, but when he couldn't spot one he wrapped his strong tanned arms around his partner. He smiled and rubbed Chester's body, hoping that the little bit of friction he was creating would generate some warmth.

"Better?"

The blonde curled his lips inward and smiled cautiously at Chris who kissed his blonde spikes affectionately. He remembered the first time they made love; the way Chris fit perfectly deep inside of him and felt a hot flash wash over his body.

"N..n..no. I need...I need to feel your skin. You're always so comfy and warm."

The blonde nuzzled the stunned rockstar's neck noticing a raised vein in the process. He kissed the vein slowly up and down, lapping Chris' salty sweat while feeling his heartbeat. The longer he kissed it the more it pulsed, reminding Chester of his large, veiny, throbbing member. Chris closed his eyes and moaned softly at the blonde's 'barely there' touch. He gulped audibly and felt his breath hitch, suddenly remembering that his loving boyfriend had been raped a few days before. Oh my God! No! He's probably still tender back there. No no no. He brought his hands up and held his innocent lover by his upper arms, then carefully pushed him away.

"Baby, are you sure you want to...be intimate? We don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable. We can just hold each other. Maybe cuddle, and watch a movie?"

The ardent blonde stood on his tippy toes, leaned forward, and slightly parted his lips. He kissed the mature rockstar with hunger while a soft hand caressed his sun kissed abs. Chester moaned against his lover's lips, and quickly began to feel his own heartbeat between his legs on his hanging fruit. He gave Chris' perfect lips one last suck before breaking the kiss and speaking in a soft boyish voice.

"I'm okay Chris. I just...I need you. Please touch me. Make love to me. Make the pain go away..."

A single crystal tear rolled down Chester's pale cheek while he gave his man a puppy eyed stare. Chris looked down at his pleading lover and fell hesitant. He carefully leaned down and lovingly captured the blonde's thin lips. Chris cradled the back of Chester's head and stroked a few strands of blonde hair with his thumb. Then whispered in his ear.

"Just let me know when it hurts, so I can stop."

Chester nodded and smiled, slightly backing away from his partner in order to start disrobing himself. He sensually pulled his tee shirt over his head, and raked his short nails up over his torso until he reached his tiny nipples. Chris help but notice dozens of small bruises that were almost completely faded away. There was a bite mark around a nipple that once red and angry was now just a soft scarlet hue. A mere physical reminder of what he'd been going through  
The blonde continued to slowly remove his clothes by unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He kept his stare fixed on his lover to catch his honest expression once he got a glimpse of what he had become. He let his black cargo pants fall and pool around his feet, noticing Chris sudden crestfallen stare. Chester frowned slightly and noticed the pity in his lovers eyes. His own eyes followed his lover's glance which stopped at his bruised and rug burned knees. The blonde subconsciously and vigorously whipped his mouth with the back of his hand. Making Chris realize that his bruises would fade but the wounds in his lover's heart might never heel. The ghost of the touch from the people that have hurt Chester, would remain inside him forever.

"Am I still beautiful?"

Chester asked, insecure. Catching the rockstar's by surprise. The dam Chris had been holding up this whole time finally broke, and a few tears left his body. He didn't bother to wipe them like other times, instead he let them flow freely. If Chester was brave enough to allow himself to be vulnerable, then he should do the same. After all that's what loving someone was about right? Not holding back and surrendering to the wide range of emotions that person brings out in you. No matter what they are.

"Of course you are Chessie. You'll always be beautiful to me."

Chris fearlessly made his way towards his boyfriend and kissed him tenderly, then lifted him. He carried him with ease honeymoon style, through the infinite halls of his mansion. Until he reached the main suite. Once he reached their destination he gingerly placed Chester on top of the golden sheets of his California king. The young singer smiled at the feeling of the luxurious comforter swallowing him. The silky soft sheets delicately swirled around his thin body, while he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the canopy. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly catching Chris' nude reflection slowly crawling towards him. Before he could prepare himself, Chris hovered over him only inches away from his face. His green eyes sparkled with joy as he looked into his cocoa colored ones.

"I'm going to love you like no one else has ever loved you before."

Chester closed his eyes and opened his body, ready for Chris' everlasting sensual touch. He melted and turned into putty with every ardent kiss his lover left behind. Very slowly Chris began erase every hit, every cut, every bruise and replaced them with velvety soft kisses and amorous caresses. Space and time became irrelevant once he sheathed himself deep inside Chester who moaned a sensual love melody that echoed throughout the mansion. Their hands traveled over every inch of each other's bodies, curiously searching for secret pleasurable spots while their breathing became in sync. Soon their pores released their body heat in the form of sweat; that mixed perfectly to make a sweet sex musk that permeated the room.  
Chris thrusted his hips rhythmically becoming more lost each time in their lovemaking haze. Both men slowly opened their eyes and shared an intense enamored stare. Chester's tight heat was driving the rockstar closer and closer to release. Chris cupped his partner's cheek and thrusted slow yet hard. plunging into the depths of his moaning lover. The two of them grunted loudly, sharing their breaths while at the same time their heartbeats pounded against their chests. It almost felt as if they were both about to have a heart attack, but there was no turning back now. They were into deep to draw back. This was their chance. This was their moment to become one. Then with one loud primal roar Chris shot his hot love deep inside the angelic blonde under him.   
Then, everything went dark and silent. Both could feel their heartbeats slowly falling while they both smiled in each others embrace. They stayed still, enjoying their moment and their post coital high.

+++++++++++++++±++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hey everyone! I'd like to thank everybody for the comments and all the support. It means a lot to me. Please leave more! I always enjoy reading them and responding. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's almost the end guys. Have a good day!!!


	25. Crossroads

Chris drove out of the busy highway and began to speed through the residential streets. L.A traffic sucked, but L.A morning traffic was definitely the worst. The rockstar grinned devilishly at the residential area that granted him the freedom of driving over 3mph. He sped and made a few tight turns making the box of whiskey bottles in the back clink and rattle. He couldn't wait to leave this packed concrete jungle and just be alone with Chester, the love of his life. He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at the beaming blonde on the passenger side. He had his hand sticking out of the window, and made it surf the gusts of wind created by the speed of his boyfriend's car. Chris gave him an enamored glance and prepared to stop his vehicle in front of the band's house. He turned the key on the ignition silencing the motor of his vehicle and turned to smile at his partner.  
  
"do you want me to go with you?"

Chester turned to look at him, still beaming and pulled on the handle of door to open it.

"Nah I'm just getting a couple of things. I'll be right back."

He eagerly jumped out of the car and jogged towards the front door. Chris chuckled eying his excited partner and spoke out loud as if he was still in his seat. Flirting with the idea of having a drink or ten.

"Alrighty... I'll just have a... smoke while I wait for you."

Chester ran inside the house and was hit with the smell of pop tarts and lucky charms. As he jogged towards his room he turned his head and greeted the band with a simple 'good morning'. Everyone greeted him back and in the few seconds he ran past them he noticed they all found a spot around the t.v. Each one of them sat with their preferred breakfast choice, and they had been watching Saturday morning cartoons. He took a mental picture of the scene and suddenly realized that Mike wasn't there. Maybe he's locked up in his room, still sleeping. Chester turned the door knob and entered his room, quickly making his way to his old suitcase on the floor. He got on his knees and right away noticed the musky stuffy scent of his room, that was the result of him not sleeping there for a few days. His hands dug through the unorganized pile of clothes on top of his suitcase, and began sort them out. Chester quickly picked out a few pairs of pants and some socks, but when he began to look for some shirts he spotted all the banana hammocks Mike had given him.  
He placed his hand on top of them, and the memory of what Mike made him do while he wore them hit him like a speeding train. He felt a frown forming on his face and he froze in front of them recalling the lap dances Mike forced him into, the photos he took of him, the groping, and all the times he had shoved his disgusting privates into his mouth. Chester shuddered and felt a tear roll down his cheek. He began to cry, alone in the privacy of his own room when suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder making him jump. He snapped his head back, startled and saw Mike.

"Hey Chazzy...I..."

Chester began to let out a chilling scream when Mike quickly covered his mouth with one strong hand. 

" Shhhh. Shhhh don't scream. Don't. Scream. It's okay... Shhh"

The frightened blonde let out a few screams that were muffled by by the emcee's hand. Mike darted his eyes around the room then back at the door that the blonde had shut behind himself. He used his free hand to cradle the nape of the singer's neck while he kept his other firmly pressed against his mouth. He gave the petrified songbird a calm look as he cried helplessly under his grip. The singer couldn't help but notice the two black eyes and busted lip Rob had given him a few days ago.

"It's okay Chester shhh. I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay...look..look."

The emcee slowly removed both hands from the panicked singer and stood still. He was kneeling in front of Chester watching him slowly slip into a panic attack. He instinctively hugged himself then out of habit cupped his privates over his pants, as he watched the emcee eyeing him quietly.

"I...I just wanted to say I'm sorry for...everything I did. I know it doesn't make things better, but I thought it might be a start. I don't know what came over me. I just....I just... I'm gay and...I like you a lot I never wanted someone so much before. You're just so beautiful...sexy and you drive me crazy, but it was wrong to..to..."

Chester's eyes were full of tears, fear, and resentment. He trembled and pierced through Mike's eyes with his own.

"To rape me? To molest me? Touch me...? Make me...make me wear lipstick and lingerie then threaten to ruin my life? You...you don't know what I've been through M...M..Mike. You don't know what it's like to be me...you hurt me. You've tainted what was once pure and tainted before. Just l..leave me alone. P...p..please."

The emcee looked down in shame then brought his glance back up. He spread his arms slightly and tried to smile but couldn't. Instead he frowned.

"Can I hold you?"

Chester began to tremble violently, and brought his shoulders up to his ears. Expecting for the emcee to grope him or hurt him in some way.

"You've done disgusting things to...to me and you suddenly need permission for a hug?"

The young blonde shivered and took turns glancing between the floor and the emcee who stood there waiting for a hug.

"That's the point. You have a choice now. I'm not going to hug you if you don't want me to. I've been seeing a therapist for my anger issues and my obsessive behaviour. I'm trying to change, Chaz. I hope you can forgive one day, and if you don't. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I promise I'll never do those things to you ever again. I'll treat you better. I'm really sorry Chester."

The singer looked up and frowned feeling the hundreds of tears still rolling down his cheeks. Part of him wanted to believe Mike, but part of him feared putting his trust in him again. If something happened this time Chris was all the way in the driveway, and Rob was watching cartoons. No one would hear his screams. No one would save him. Maybe he's being honest this time. Maybe he won't hurt me. Chester looked up at Mike and gave him an unsure look. He took a few shaky deep breaths and prepared to put himself in probable danger again.

"O..ok... You can...hold me."

Mike smiled and walked on his knees making his way towards Chester. He stood there still trembling but didn't try to run or scream when the half Asian wrapped his arms around him. Mike inhaled his scent and hummed closing his eyes. 

" see? Isn't this nice? You're so sweet Chester. You're such a good person, thank you for giving me another chance. "

Then the blonde was suddenly hit with dozens of memories of all the times Mike had hurt him. The cuts and bruises, the humiliation, the name calling, his fingers painfully probing and cutting him inside, and all the sleepless nights he spent crying. He began to hyperventilate and gently tried to shrug off the emcee's threatening embrace.

"Can you..L..let me go go now? I'm.. I'm scared.I don't like this. I don't like this!"

Mike immediately stepped away. Slightly raising his arms as he did so to show Chester he meant no harm. He sat on his heels and curiously studied the blonde.

"of course...I'm Sorry. Um...so are we going to be okay? "

Chester looked up at him and brought a hand up to his mouth. He nervously chewed on the jagged edge of a fingernail and squeezed his eyes shut.

"I...I don't know... I hope so...can you please leave Mike. You're making me anxious. I'm... I'm really scared. Please just go."

Mike frowned and glanced at the suitcase with all of Chester's clothes inside. His glance stopped at the banana hammocks and the lube and he suddenly felt disgusted with himself. The emcee reached over and grabbed all the panties, the lube, and the dildo he'd purchased making the blonde flinch. He scrunched his nose at the sex tools and tossed them in a garbage bin that sat on the corner of the room.

"There...now you don't have to see that stuff anymore. Can I get you anything... maybe some water? Or...some.."

Chester collapsed onto the floor, and curled into the fetal position. with tears in his eyes and his fingers still in his mouth.

"Just go away! Please...please just go...please Mike just leave me alone..."

The emcee looked at him in surprise with a twisting pain in his heart. I turned him into this. I'm sorry Chester. Just when he opened his mouth to speak the door swung open and a not so happy Rob appeared. He saw the half Asian sitting on the ground then the young blonde crying and shivering on the floor. The drummer stomped towards the emcee and roughly grabbed him by the nape of his neck , pulling him to his feet.

"What the fuck are you doing in here Mike? Are you trying to rape him again huh? You sick fuck. Get out of here you perv!"

He shoved the shook up emcee towards the direction of the door and shot him a glare. He inhaled loudly through his nose with his broad chest puffed out, ready to protect the frightened singer.

"He didn't hurt me Rob...it's okay. I'm just...s..s..scared. He was just apologizing. He didn't do anything."

Rob kept his irate stare on the emcee who staggered out of the room. The defensive drummer then cupped both of his hands around his mouth, turning it into a makeshift mega phone. He then proceeded to loudly make an announcement to everyone in the house.

"I'M GLAD HE APOLOGIZED CHES, BUT HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALONE WITH YOU AT ANY TIME, BECAUSE HE'S A FUCKING CREEP AND HE KNOWS THAT!

A split second later he heard the rest of the guys reprimanding the emcee in various tones. Rob grinned in the direction of the door and turned his attention back to the singer, who was still curled up on the floor. He sat squatted down beside him and offered a hand.

"c'mon get up Ches."

Chester took his hand and allowed Rob to help him off the floor. He thanked his beloved giant with a half smile and picked two shirts from the suitcase, adding them to his trip pile. The drummer watched him carefully and decided to break the silence by giving the uneasy singer some good news.

"That dipshit is getting therapy, and one of the things the therapist told him was that he was supposed to have as little contact with you as possible. We'll all gladly help him with that, but I honestly think that sick fuck should be in prison. Why didn't you want to put him there? After all the horrible things he put you through he doesn't deserve to be roaming around as if nothing happened."

Rob looked away trying to contain his tears and Chester looked up from the pile of clothes. His eyes landed on his own hand, on his middle finger where Rob's ring permanently sat. He looked at his gentle giant and smiled at him. He knew how much Rob cared and it warmed his heart. 

"Even though Mike hurt me...A lot. He basically had me go through my childhood trauma all over again. I'd like to believe that deep down inside he isn't evil. He's just... a sick person. I think he can get better if he tries. He really scares me though and when I think about all the depraved things he did to me, I shudder."

The blonde frowned and looked into his drummer's dark eyes. Rob slowly reached for his hand and squeezed it gently, offering a broken smile.

"Well, that's... that's very noble of you. I wouldn't be able to do what you're doing. You're so strong, but we can get you help as well Ches. You need to talk to a professional about these things, maybe they can make life a little easier for you."

Chester shook his head and reached for another shirt in the suitcase. Rob looked at the little pile of clothes by his feet and wondered what Chester was doing.

"I'm not ready to open up about all that stuff yet. It's.. Kind of embarrassing. It still scares me a lot. It gives me nightmares. It still makes me cry. I can deal with it on my own. For now."

Rob nodded, still holding Chester's delicate hand. He hoped that someday he could find peace and happiness, because someone as sweet and kind as Chester deserves it. He watched his crush take out another pair of socks and was reminded of the question he'd been meaning to ask him during the whole conversation.

"Where are you going Ches?

Chester let go of his gentle giant's hand to put all his clothes in a small backpack by his suitcase. Rob frowned when the contract with the singer broke, and watched him stuff a body spray and a stick of deodorant into his bag.

" Just a road trip with Chris. We're going somewhere warm, but he still hasn't said where. It's a surprise. I'll be back in a few days."

Chester got up and threw his backpack over his shoulder then glanced at Rob who frowned slightly as he slowly got up as well. He got a glimpse of the hurt in the drummer's eyes that had lingered there since the release party. He looked up at him and the drummer smiled weakly shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I'll miss you Ches. Have...fun."

Rob turned around and headed for the door. He felt a heavy feeling in his heart and tears trickling down his cheeks, then suddenly a pair of skinny arms that coiled around his waist.

"Thank you Robbie."

The drummer smiled and turned around to return the loving hug. He held Chester's body tightly, pressing his head against his chest. Rob felt his lips form a frown but fought back a river of tears. He closed his eyes and tried to soak in everything he felt in that moment. Chester's scent, how fragile and warm he felt in his arms, and the sound of his voice. It's so hard to let go of someone you've never had. 

"Hey, you know I'll always be here."

Rob held him close and took a deep breath in. Now feeling the courage he needed for that moment. No longer fearing the word love, for it wasn't enough to express how he felt about the beautiful songbird in his arms.

"I love you Chester."

Chester looked up at him and smiled. He bounced his glance between Rob's eyes and smooth nude lips; making a decision that would leave the drummer walking on air. He stood on the tips of his toes, closed his eyes, and lightly pressed his lips to Rob's. The gentle giant kept his eyes closed cherishing Chester's sweet and innocent gesture. He then slowly opened them when he couldn't feel the singer's lips anymore. Everything around him felt different. As if with one kiss Chester defied gravity, because Rob felt lightheaded, like his feet weren't touching the floor anymore. He smiled timidly at the singer and blushed. The blonde gave him a simple nod and fled the room leaving Rob feeling elated.  
He rushed to the front door and smiled at everyone in the room. They exchanged smiles and stares, except for Mike. The emcee sat on the far end of the couch away from the rest of the band. He played with the hem of his shirt, looking like a child who was being punished for misbehaving.

"I'll see you guys in a few days!"

Everyone waved and said their goodbyes, then turned their attention back to the t.v and their sugary cereal. As he stepped safely out of the house he heard Chris singing loudly from his car. He jogged lightly, getting closer and noticed Tiffany on the rockstar's lap. Chris strumed her steel strings happily singing the end of a song, when Chester got inside the car and smiled at him. His glance traveled from his lover's face to the half empty bottle of whiskey between his feet on the floor.

"Did I take too long?"

Chris shot him a toothy grin and tossed Tiffany to the back seat.

"Not at all baby. Ready to hit the road?"

The rockstar chugged from his infamous bottle and turned the key on the ignition, marking the beginning of their journey. Chris reved his engine and peeled off the driveway. Once he reached the highway, he pushed the gas pedal further down carefully speeding towards their destination. Two hours into their trip and both men shared laughter, memories, and comfortable silent moments together. Chris consistently sped through the lonely highway just as he consistently sipped from his bottle. The scenery Changed often, but then remained the same for miles. Cacti, mountains, dirt, and a road that seem to go on forever. Chester looked out the window thoughtfully, remembering everything Chris had told him a few days earlier. He had to tell his wife the truth. It was better now than never, because if he didn't say something soon the guilt and worry would consume him. He gulped loudly earning him a concerned glance from the rockstar.

"What's the matter baby? You alright?

Chester took a deep breath and balled his fists, feeling a wave a fear come in and out of him.

" I...I'm ready to tell my wife. I'm ready to tell her everything. "

A smile slowly began to spread across Chris' face while he turned the wheel, and eased into a gas station by the road. 

"Welp, you're in luck honey. We're in Laughlin, and I need to get some gas. There's a payphone there. Do you want me to get you anything?"

Chester felt a heavy dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach and gently shook his head. He promptly got out the car and walked beside Chris then parted ways with him once he reached the payphone. He gulped and stood in front of it facing the receiver, petrified. Chris ruffled his blonde spikes and winked at him before entering the building.

"Everything's gonna be alright Chessie."

The blonde licked his lips and dug in his pockets in search of quarters. He put them through the slot on the phone and dialed his old home phone number. Blood quickly pooled at his feet once he heard the ring tone. It rang twice before someone finally answered. Chester's face fell when he heard the husky voice of a man at the other end of the line.

"Hello..?"

Chester swallowed then cleared his throat.

"Hello may...um.. may I speak to Samantha Bennington please?"

He stood still, frozzen. Afraid to move muscle. His mind was racing she's going to be so mad at me. Who was that man? I think I'm gonna be sick. He shut his eyes closed and prepared himself to get yelled at. There was suddenly a raspy nasally voice at the other end of the line.

"Hello whose this? Haha...baby not now, stud I'm on the phone."

Chester felt his heart sink and a few worries melted away realizing Sam had also found someone else.

"Sam...there's something I need to tell you. I got a record deal, but...I'm.. I... There's someone else. It's... It's a man. I'm...I'm gay Sam. I'm gay."

The blonde began to cry and covered his mouth fearing what would happen next. He thought Sam would call him names like she always did, or scream at him, or have fit. Instead she chuckled and Chester could hear her smiling through the static on the phone.

"Well, no duh honey. I know you're gay."

Chester dried his tears, relieved but also a little confused. He looked around and saw Chris putting gas in his car. He looked up from his task and smiled Charmingly at him, as if to say everything was fine.

"What do you mean you know? You...you knew already? W..What is that supposed to mean?"

The blonde cradled the receiver waiting for an answer and heard Sam shuffling around. He could picture her now, cleaning the room and pacing around as she spoke to him on the phone.

"Baby, you always ordered appletinis and cosmos whenever we hit up bars. You cry at the drop of a hat, and you...well you're just a sensitive little thing. I knew it all along and confirmed it after we had Draven. You never fucked me like a man. You were always a little too gentle for my taste. I also caught you checking out guys at the beach."

Chester frowned and wiped his tears embarrassed, realizing how obvious he'd been all this time. He looked up again and saw Chris leaning on his car with his arms crossed, still smiling as if he knew everything that was being said.

"I'm really sorry Sam..I.."

Sam chuckled at the other end of the line seemingly undisturbed by the confession her now ex husband had just made.

"Don't worry about it Chaz. It's fine. Go have fun with your man, and I'll go have fun with mine. As for Draven, well. It's a good thing you got that record deal because he's going to need child support. You can see him whenever you want just...hide the whole gay thing around him. I don't need those kinds of questions from him any time soon. Anyway, I gotta go. I have a nail appointment. Take care Chaz."

Chester stood still for a minute and heard the call end with a beeping. He carelessly dropped the receiver and contemplated on his past for a minute. He dried his tears and traded his frown for a smile, then looked up at Chris from afar. He began to walk and make his way towards the charming Rockstar who sported a cheeky smile. A gust of wind blew Chris' hair out of the way reveling his glistening emerald green eyes. Chester looked up at him getting forever lost in his favorite verdant pools.

"How did it go Chessie?"

Chester exhaled and stood on his tip toes to passionately kiss his man. Chris parted his plump lips letting his young lover in. They rubbed and massaged each other's velvet tongues, cupping each other's faces consuming each other's lips. They could get lost in each other's touch for the rest of their lives. Their love was no longer a secret. Chester pulled back and looked into his lover's eyes finally saying what he'd been wanting to say for so long .

"I'm free. We're free."

Chris laughed, picked him up and spun him around making Chester laugh along with him. He got a view of the scene and felt the rock star put him down. He smiled at his wicked man, who jogged to the dirver's side and grabbed his whiskey bottle and promptly took a long chug. They both took a good look around at the scenic view. There was the road in which they came from and three dirty lonely roads that went forever. 

The End

Thank you so much for all of your support and the comments. It means the world to me. I hope everyone enjoyed this story. I have another story on here with Chris and Chester. It's a one shot, by the name of "Love never dies" Please go check it out and tell me what you think. Have a good day! Happy Reading!


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